GAD and problems with thoughts (future)

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GAD and problems with thoughts (future)

Postby Mentos94 » Sat Apr 11, 2015 9:30 am

Hi all,

First maybe i will tell something about myself, so I am 20 years old student and about one and half a year I have problems with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, tension in my body, nervousness and enormous lack of energy. It very frustrates me and really sometimes is so powerful that take my all attention to this and even that my life situation is very good and I am on my dream uni I can not focus on my passion. The power of now of eckhart tolle I read two times a few month ago and it was great book that allowed me to see clearly patterns and tend to avoid the now of my mind. I also read stilness speaks and new earth and I've watched all videos of eckhart.I have read also other books about GAD and I have knowledge, I completely accept this, I change habbits but I feel so weak. I have very big ego and a lot of stupid thoughts that judgment people or comparisons with other and all this stuff of ego shortly saying.

I have confusion with one big problem and it cuts my legs :)
I am observing my thoughts but they are so powerful like thoughts that are saying;
''When I recover I will be...this or that'
expecially thoughts that are only pleasant imagination or thoughts like ''maybe she looked on me''
and even playing for example on footbal I have so big problems to be just myself and in my head are pictures of being
Paul scholes for example ;D and I am focusing on reality and this comes comes and comes...and when I am focusing on reality I have
headache...

sorry for my english but I just want to ask you is it possible to be free of this thoughts and ego? I just want to be myself. doing what I love,
not being dependent from other people and things and just live normally. Earlier I have worked for my ego, to be better and how wrong I was and this caused GAD.

So, what i am trying now to completely focus on work, sport, change thoughts, living in the now, not being drag by mind that is all the time analyzing
and give me imagination of pleasant situations (money, situations etc.)
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Re: GAD and problems with thoughts (future)

Postby Zizitop » Sat Apr 11, 2015 5:37 pm

Mentos94 wrote:is it possible to be free of this thoughts and ego? I just want to be myself. doing what I love,
not being dependent from other people and things and just live normally.


It is possible to be free of this thougts and ego. They are quite often pointless and unnecessary. But with this said those negative thougts aren't just gone.
Maybe you will have to look at and be conscious of a more deeper layer, the level of emotions and even more deeper your biggest wishes and desires.
What are you really afraid of? Did some negative experiences occur to you in the last couple of years or even earlier? Maybe those resulted in some kind of trauma. What is the relationship now with your best friend(s) or even more important, with your parents? Do you often come in situations which are stressfull? You say that you don't want to be independent from other people, and it is a good thing to set that boundary, but maybe you overlook the human need of love and connectedness (especially with important persons in your life). In my opinion these are a bunch a questions which are usefull to look at. Maybe you come to some deeper insights you haven't been aware before.
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Re: GAD and problems with thoughts (future)

Postby Clouded » Sat Apr 11, 2015 10:03 pm

The only way to free yourself from thoughts and the ego that I know of is to stop identifying with your thoughts. It's so much easier said than done because we always confuse our thoughts to be ''what is really going on right now''.

It helps to catch yourself thinking. For instance, if you are feeling anxious because of some story that your mind is creating in the moment, realize that nothing is really happening right now and that you feel anxious about something that doesn't really exist outside of your head. You are only scaring yourself with your own imagination.

Occupy yourself with activities that you enjoy and be completely focused on what you are doing instead of drifting off into your thoughts and losing track of time.

You'll be fine.
"If you want to know what your were like in the past, look at your body today. If you want to know what your body will be like in the future, look at your thoughts today." -Deepak
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Re: GAD and problems with thoughts (future)

Postby Mentos94 » Wed Apr 15, 2015 9:36 pm

I remember before my 18 teen I used to play football and living life like teenager. From 18 my ego was drastically improved and I was doing more and more routines that were more conditions and it caused tension, I was living in my mind so much. To be honest I am happy because of my look, I have passions, I love sport but I felt worse or better. That's true that my parents are egoic, they argued all the time, all my childhood until divorce that was in my 15. A lot of stress they gave me but happily my grandparents always help me. Parents did not teach me fundamental behaviours and I am a bit nervous and I am working on being more still, I also need some attention from outside, I was so weak in inside. The next thing that I felt I need to be better than someone is because I am gay..ehhh it would be much easier to find girl, but ok I dont worry about that too much, I love drawing and sport so if there will be one day someone appropriate for me it will be fine, if not its also fine. I don need someone to make me happy but I had and sometimes still have strong EGO that compares with someone (feeling better or worse, need for attention, criticize of someone made me angry )

But this is not big deal, I completely accept past, this moment and I want to live fully being myself but sometimes my mind disturbes me. My constantly fear slowly subsides, there are days without fear, and when I am not analyzing, not thinking but I am aware, still, completely presence - tensions subsides. It also helps me meditation, particulary nature and sport and focusing on studies that I need to pass so there is motivation and slowly I can concentrate on these things that make me happy and cause that I am coming back to life and feel the power of myself but I want you to ask to be clear about some problems that my mind do to me.

There are often questions of my mind that really can to unbalance me :) questions like
''How do I know that I really want to behave like this, that is truly I?'' And I explain to myself that I am going to be still, presence, to be myself ( it s sometimes really hard because I had some reactive patterns and I was smilling because of really stupid things and that was making me really confused because I was basing on thoughts, so any thought that was comic situation from past and I was trapped in it and momentally I was smilling like idiot when situation was really serious. Now thoughts have no power over me so it s better because if there is something serious I can be presence with this situation instead of being behind screen of my thoughts )
These question really makes often confused - Can I be really as I want to be? organized, still, presence, with positive attitiude, Can I take care more about myself etc Is it me? Fear subsides but the voice is still speaking. I read all books of eckhart and some about anxiety and watched all videos and also mooji etc. but really now from two weeks I finish with all stuff and I am going to do completely detox of mind because its completely rubbish. No television, less internet more me, more I know what I want to do but some analyzing thoughts take me from inner peace :) :

If I listen one music, sometimes too much and it makes me more nervous because it becomes pleasure for my mind not for my heart, and I start analyzing = Ok i listened to this music, its boring for me now maybe instead of listening to the same music to stwitch on radio with random music. So when I know that something goes from the heart? To be honest I had reactive patterns and often thoughts were running me, one thought with music that was playing in my head and I was going on youtube and listened to this music but it was the same, old and only pleasure for mind. hmmm

So is it enough just be still, living live, aware of thoughts but not being trapped in it and giving attention for my heart that is to say, passion, what I am programmed to do?
Also I am analyzing that If I am myseld I don t have to copy other people, but Can I be inspired by them?

Really, I feel better but if my mind is on a drug I really I am nervous but I hope that for not too long i will be living from my heart and completely myself..
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Re: GAD and problems with thoughts (future)

Postby Zizitop » Fri Apr 17, 2015 8:34 pm

Maybe you think too much about it all. You might also experience an identity crisis at your age.
My advice would be to develop a well-balanced personality involving some persons that are important to you.
You might for example work on a mature relationship with your parents, you might tell best friends about your sexual preference,
perform activities that you like... Make sure that it feels good. When you are able to do these things, the question that you might
take other persons as a source of inspiration (which is also a thought) might become irrelevant.
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Re: GAD and problems with thoughts (future)

Postby ashley72 » Sat Apr 18, 2015 8:55 am

Mentos94,

Anxiety arises when the GAD sufferer judges many day-to-day things as "dangerous". It can turn into panic when the GAD sufferer also begins to judge the output symptoms of danger (feelings of nervousness) as also unwanted and dangerous.

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This can lead the GAD sufferer into acute avoidance behavior of situations that seem to trigger anxiety & accompanying panic. Most GAD sufferers even become frightened of their thoughts... because they don't seem to have control over them anymore. This can lead to more & more intrusive thoughts arising in the sufferers Mind => Obsessive Compulsive Disorder :?


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The way out of this mess... is through the use mindfulness techniques and understanding the positive feedback loop at play.A positive feedback loop, occurs when the output feeds back into the input.... creating even more symptoms than to begin with. Its a growth cycle or positive gain in output.

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Mindfulness can reverse that positive feedback loop by simply a stepping back from your thoughts and feelings, without judging them as dangerous. You can start mindfulness practice by simply watching your breath without judging the thoughts (monkey mind) that arises.

Once you can watch unwanted thoughts & feelings arise without judging them as dangerous, the positive feedback loop can be halted in its tracks. You can then expose yourself to any phobia without wanting to avoid it.

I spent many years looking for a cure to my GAD, OCD, Panic, Agoraphobia & Depersonalize disorder. One day, I had the ""aha moment" and started to put what I had learnt into practice. These days I don't avoid situations that I'm pre-judging as difficult or dangerous. I just go along and expose myself to the output signal of nervousness and don't judge that output signal as dangerous... so the nervousness is very short lived.

It takes practice, and don't expect not to be nervous... because the whole point is to get used to nervousness so much it becomes non-dangerous to you. You might find yourself doing well on some occasions and not so well on others. Just keep exposing yourself to the nervousness over and over again until the experience just becomes second nature. Eventually it becomes so normal you just don't pay attention to the nervousness after a while, its just what happens in those situations... no big deal, we all feel sad, happy or excited at some time. You just go with the flow of life without avoidance and resistance! :D

This is something taken from Wikipedia in respect to Mindfulness...

The mechanisms of Mindful emotion regulation

Through the initial foundations of attention control training, the focus of attention can more consciously be directed towards emotions that arise. Mindfulness combines this mechanism with a particular quality of attitudinal element, of acceptance and non-judgmental awareness. This can range from acknowledging ‘tightness in the chest’ or ‘increases in heart rate’ as well as thought content and emotions that arise. Subsequently, during mindfulness meditation, difficult emotions that may arise become paired with a compassionate and accepting attitude, which may gradually extinguish the fear of experiencing the emotions and any related thoughts. Mindfulness practice may lead to the development of meta-cognitive insight or de-centering. These concepts relate the experiencing thoughts as they are, which is changeable and transient, and that they are not characteristic of absolute reality. This may lead to increased cognitive flexibility reflecting in more adaptive and consciously choosing mental content to identify with, rather than habitually responding. Alternatively a balanced and non-elaborative awareness of experience is cultivated, that is not as easily disrupted by the magnitude of emotions experienced or provocative external events.
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Re: GAD and problems with thoughts (future)

Postby Mentos94 » Fri Apr 24, 2015 8:40 pm

Ashley thanks for your help but I haven't got panic attacks but constantly fear, now after few months I am disedintified a lot of my thoughts because I had some thoughts that caused a lot of tensions in my body happily now it s ok but what sustain my bit fear and tension Is controlling and analysing, particuraly about mind and being in the now hmmm...now this is my only ONE problem to be surrender in life because I need to understand it and it s not my ego but I want to understand it and to be more clear about and start living fullness of live because I am analysing now it all :/

This Is how I understand it:
Identification with thoughts is creating EGO -> now I am allowing all thoughts to pass
BUT :D when I can observe it without thought I am observing but observing as conscious human when I identify with thought, part of the brain is working as with analytical thinking. So happily I know who I am not, I am not identified with my thoughts ( and I very don't like like someone teacher tell me you should disedentify from your family etc...how stupidly they can say that..later it makes 1000 questions for my mind...simply I should disedentify with my thoughts...that's all. I enjoy my family a lot - sometimes too literally saying makes me really angry on these guru (not Eckhart) )
I often can feel myself, but instead of going through life with full intuition I still analyze.
So now as awareness I can think when I want and I do not think when I don't want to. But if I think trying to understand it, it somehow analytical thinking but isn that being identified with mind being myself?
What I dream about is to understand it clearly and start living without analytical thinking but I need to know it.
Analytical thinking creates ego? ;d I am walking and too much analyse, I can stop it but this really makes me confusion.

and another question, being in the present is to surrender but what if I would like to sing a song?
Soo much confused and It makes me so much stress now...
Often instead of analysing I am talking to myself because it s not from the level of mind :D
So what to do, my mind is seartching for everything :D
so awarenes - aware of thoughts not being trapped in them -> When I want to use my mind I use it, focused thinking -> thinking analysing in the mind is identification with mind, being oon the level of mind and can create ego..ehhh so when to use analytical thinking...:/
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Re: GAD and problems with thoughts (future)

Postby ashley72 » Mon Apr 27, 2015 12:53 am

Fear has an output.

This output can included anxious thinking. Otherwise called unwanted & intrusive thoughts. The more a person fights these intrusive thoughts the more difficulty the experience of nervous suffering will become.

The best technique is to not treat these intrusive thoughts as "dangerous" but as acceptable & a very normal fear response. This will prevent them from becoming more intrusive and problematic. Just accept the intrusive thoughts without the judgement of "danger" & they will subside!

You do not want to disidentify with all your thoughts that is not recommended & not even sustainable. Thoughts are perfectly normal and acceptable. We use thoughts to communicate and control our lives. It will be impossible to control your life without thinking & planning.

What is troublesome is nervous thoughts which get labelled "dangerous" or unwanted these thoughts can cause nervous illness.

It's very subtle difference but if you have a nervous disorder you will know what I am referring to!
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