Handling other egos without giving into the ego

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Handling other egos without giving into the ego

Post by jtightlips21 » Tue Apr 28, 2015 3:26 am

I dont know if this is common amongst others, but I find that the biggest trigger to fall into egoism is when confronted with other egos, such as other people and some collective ego. As I recall, it was handling pressures from other egos that tempted me into identifying with the ego. And I find that the hardest time I am having in letting go of my ego are other egos. Where I get frustrated with people being opinionated, and fall into the egoic temptation to attach to my own opinions. Or getting obsessed with certain political views, and a need to fight against certain political systems that I find oppressive. My automatic desire is to destroy a political system that I dont like, for example, right now, I automatically want to see the American corporate system fall, as egoically, I see it as an oppressive system that is collectivistic in nature, and contradicts the egoic notion that I am a free person, and not a machine part.

Other cases that I fall into egoic traps is dealing with someone trying to intimidate me, like pressuring me, barking orders, or scolding, and it is something I see as egoic behavior of trying to establish dominance. But I fall into that same egoic trap to want to fight back, either in aggressive ways, or acting passive aggressively. Then getting into a desire to act with vengeance.

Other times, I have a difficult time in listening to others opinions, and at times wish people would stop having opinions, except on matters I am opinionated about. Like I get annoyed if people preach about morals or ethics not rooted in the whole happiness/misery principle. Like I get annoyed if people show any disdain for homosexuality, as I see any prohibitions being solely based on anothers religious beliefs, or social taboos. Or listening to lectures about what is true and what is false, easily falling into the temptation to cling to my understanding of truth, to avoid the so called established truth.

I know its just the ego talking, and it strives on being right, having power, and being number one. It cannot accept any consciousness that transcends intellectual knowledge, which at its basis is graspable, but at the same time competitive, in saying that for me to be right, anyone who is a contradiction is wrong.

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Re: Handling other egos without giving into the ego

Post by EnterZenFromThere » Tue Apr 28, 2015 9:28 pm

Hey j,

Welcome to the forum.

I might not be the right person to reply to your message - as I don't consider the ego to be a bad thing. The problem I have with the term is that everyone has their own unique meaning for it. To some people it means being arrogant and self-absorbed. To others it means a sense of identity. What does it mean to you?
jtightlips21 wrote:but I find that the biggest trigger to fall into egoism is when confronted with other egos, such as other people and some collective ego.
Every seemingly external trigger causing discomfort in ourselves is really more a pointer directing us to the aspects of ourselves that are most out of alignment with our greater self. We feel discomfort because we are being guided by an intelligence beyond our limited human self - like a gentle slap on the wrist from a loving parent. Personally I resolve my inner conflict and find peace when I cease looking at the triggers to my discomfort as the problem and instead focus on what those triggers are trying to tell me about myself.

It's not surprising you get frustrated when people's opinions differ from your own (f**k knows I do!). I suspect the mistake you're making is to perceive your opinions as problems. An opinion is a preference - a part of you that chooses what it likes and does not like. Such preferences are a part of all life - from electrons being attracts to protons and repulsed by others electrons, to a dog enjoying chasing it's tail and barking at a stranger, to a human liking one political system and disliking another. Without preferences, there would be no life. Life thrives most in harmonious and diverse preference.

It's not wrong for you to have opinions. It's a good thing! Sometimes though, opinions become tense. They are not in harmony with themselves - within you. They need pointers to help guide you to bring your inner opinions into alignment with the greater reality in which they exist. Your irritation about the opinions of others is likely the result of inner conflict regarding your own beliefs - quite possibly that a part of you believes they are right while another part believes they are wrong. This conflict is being highlighted by the opinions of others - rather than being caused by them.

Instead of seeing you opinions as invalid and simply the ego - try and listen to them. Acknowledge the experiences you have while you go through this unpleasantness. What is motivating you to feel this way? You don't need to give a well reasoned / thought-based answer to this. Imagine yourself as a psychologist who is treating your opinions for anxiety. Your opinions are anxious and scared. They are afraid no one is listening to them and their advice will be lost. Listening to them and soothing them with the silence of your attention is often enough to calm even the most tormented aspect of your being.

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Re: Handling other egos without giving into the ego

Post by Manyana » Tue Apr 28, 2015 11:27 pm

Hi jtightlips21,

I found this link helpful:

"annoying people" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1NAUbO1emM

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