So much guilt

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Re: So much guilt

Postby lmp » Fri Jul 03, 2015 8:36 pm

Based on what you have said so far, no need to turn yourself in. I cant truly compare legislation but in sweden where I live I doubt you would even get a fine. If a prosecutor here would read such a police report Im sure they would just close the case without further investigation. Thats my opinion. I've read a fair amount of police reports but am not in the law business. At an insurance company I settle claims for various things ppl have done to each other.

As for sharing this with ppl close to you, I would save it for the therapist, perhaps at a later point in life you wish to share it with your wife. Just my opinion. When you say 'keep it a secret for the rest of my life' thats where I think you are a bit over dramatizing it. Thinking can be so black and white, there are more options obviously.
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Re: So much guilt

Postby Webwanderer » Fri Jul 03, 2015 9:30 pm

onetwothreex wrote:Do you guys think i need to turn myself in?

Most important is to check your feelings on the matter. What choice makes you feel better? Feelings are your connection to your greater beingness and the best guide on life. Learn to use them well and your life will blossom.

I was in law enforcement for years. It's likely that the statutes of limitation have long since passed.

You might consider what a teacher like Jesus would have said. "Go forth and sin no more" comes to mind. Great beings don't judge you. Why should you? Are you wiser and clearer than they? Cut yourself a break and do something to make the world a better place - like live in love and appreciation. Think of the value of such energy on everyone around you. It's just a choice made over and over and over again and again.

WW
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Re: So much guilt

Postby onetwothreex » Sat Jul 04, 2015 12:09 pm

This morning i felt bad again. woke up with awfull flashbacks of what i did etc.

I went to lay on bed for amoment because i did not wanted my wife to see my pain.

Suddenly she entered the room while i was crying my eyes out. she asked me what was wrong, and i just could not keep it from her anymore.

I told her i felt extremely guilty and regretfull for having bullied our dog into extreme's sometime. I did not go into more details, just that i bullied into extreme's sometimes.


She told me that she knew i am a changed person right now, and she knows i would never do such things again. she felt and could see my pain. I cried like a little kid. i litterly broke down.
i also told her i almost hung myself yesterday.


Right now i do have to say that i feel a bit relieved. my wife not leaving me, she did not even Judge me for this.


I am not feeling good yet, but i guess i made some steps here right?
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Re: So much guilt

Postby lmp » Sat Jul 04, 2015 12:41 pm

Good, yes you made some steps and your wife was nice about it. Nice, huh.

Can you see how 'keeping the secret for the rest of my life' was just a thought. In actuality you kept it only for one day, since you had this thought yesterday.

It can be a huge step to see 'that it is just a thought'. Because, you see, whether there is pain or not should not be based on the thoughts but on what actually happens, if you see what I mean.

It means we do not need to panic because a thought pops up, but we can wait and see what actually happens in life, how it plays itself out, then there might be cause for sadness or joy of course, based on what happens.
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Re: So much guilt

Postby Webwanderer » Sat Jul 04, 2015 5:40 pm

onetwothreex wrote:I am not feeling good yet, but i guess i made some steps here right?

That is the test for progress in life experience. Do you feel better for your thoughts? Does what you believe improve your life experience or make it worse? If it's worse, consider abandoning such thoughts in favor of a larger, more inclusive perspective. If you feel better for your thoughts, stay the course and build on them.

You create your reality, your life experience, in this way. It's a matter of choice. In the view from the greater reality there is no right or wrong, only the natural result of how we perceive things. Your feelings of guilt from self condemnation is only one possibility. There are others available awaiting your consideration. When you are tired of the pain, you can make a new choice and move beyond it.

This is the power of now. What you choose to do and think and be now, in this moment, in every now moment, influences the experience you have. You hold the power of focus. Life energy will flow into that focus and create experience.

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Re: So much guilt

Postby dijmart » Sat Jul 04, 2015 9:27 pm

I went through neglect and abuse for a few years as a small child. For a few years afterward, once out of the situation, I did some acting out towards other small children younger then I was. And for many years I picked at my skin and bit my nails. One day I just stopped it all. I do believe I only did it do to the abuse I had endured. You get over it by forgiving yourself...and maybe you should be honest with your therapist so they can help you towards that goal.
Take what you like and leave the rest.
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