Fear of completely letting go of identity

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Fear of completely letting go of identity

Postby bobdylanfan » Sat Jul 11, 2015 11:57 am

Hey guys I wondered if you could share any wisdom on moving deeper into awareness and all the fears that brings up for our separate selves. One of my biggest issues is not being accepted which stems from a bullying kind of incident when I was younger and I see at the moment I'm feeling very vulnerable and exposed in this awareness and I can see my mind trying to persuade me that it's too scary, too unpredictable and probably fearing it's imminent blending into awareness. I also don't want to see or speak to my friends and family which is properly unusual for me I think the reason is that I'm not feeling "my self" the last few weeks so we re both expecting me to act a certain way in an interaction and that might not necessarily happen anymore. It's all very new and scary and I just wondered if this was a normal phase in this journey and if anyone could share from their experiences please. Thankyou so much I really appreciate the support and insights available on this forum.


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Re: Fear of completely letting go of identity

Postby ashley72 » Sat Jul 11, 2015 10:30 pm

bobdylanfan wrote:I can see my mind trying to persuade me that it's too scary, too unpredictable and probably fearing it's imminent blending into awareness.


Being mindful is not about separating mindfulness from mind. You are your mind as well as your mindfulness and your not going to win a fight against your own mind!

Just because I can sense my heart beat or my eyes blink doesn't mean I am somehow separate to those organs, same goes for your mind, just because you see your thoughts arise doesn't mean they're separate.

The observer is inseparable from the observed in this instance! ... and as a result it suffers from both positive feedback & negative feedback. :wink:

An example of Positive feedback is where you witness your own fear response as anxious thoughts, feelings & sensations and treat those very responses as danger... That causes the output to feedback into the input signal as a positive gain or panic cycle.

Therefore how you observe or the quality of your observation feeds directly back into the observer through the observed!!!!!!

Conversely, you can also cause a calming effect using negative feedback, in this case if you observed your own fear arise you would treat it as something non-dangerous, merely transient and unpleasant... this would cause the output signal to feedback into the input signal with a dampening effect or negative gain... diminishing your overall fear level.

Bobdylanfan wrote: I also don't want to see or speak to my friends and family which is properly unusual for me I think the reason is that I'm not feeling "my self" the last few weeks so we re both expecting me to act a certain way in an interaction and that might not necessarily happen anymore. It's all very new and scary and I just wondered if this was a normal phase in this journey and if anyone could share from their experiences please.


This fear is arising because your irrationally treating your mind as a separate entity you cannot trust,when your mind (the observed) is not separate from the mindfulness (observer). This is causing your irrational fear cycle.

Make sure you expose yourselve to family & friends, human beings are social creatures and need socializing for true happiness. If fear arises in the lead up to your socializing just allow it to arise without treating it as dangerous. Otherwise positive feedback will create a panic cycle.

Stop using the word awareness because it gives you the impression it is separate from mind.. It's better to think of awareness as mindfulness or mindful.... The reason being mindful is very much a part of mind and connected by feedback loops.

Lastly, stop thinking of mindfulness (aka awareness) as spaciousness around things or forms such as arising thoughts, sensations & feelings...but rather as a feedback loop to those things. In other words the observer is connected to the observed by way of a feedback loop.

The powerful thing about mindfulness is it can fix dysfunction but you need to have a good understanding about how feedback loops work to make positive changes which eliminate conditions such as phobias, depression & panic.
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