I feel there's two forces within me pulling at me to go in it's direction, a lot of inner conflict as well.
- There's this one side that is more of the rational side, it doesn't want stress and it's been through a lot of pain and wants to let go, enjoy myself and just be. It's the side of you that to it's extreme just wants to go off and meditate in a cave somewhere. If I go with this side to the extreme I live a boring life and I feel as if my life is stale and I'm not growing as a person. At it's best it's the moments when you just let go and you be the person you've always wanted to be.
- The other side is the competitive side, it wants me to evolve and push myself to the next level. This is the side that makes you feel alive and you have a dream and goal to work towards. It has an attitude of if you want something go and get it, what's the point in life if your going to play it safe. if you go with this to the extreme, life is very stressful like your chasing enlightenment which doesn't work and you drive yourself crazy in the chase.
Both of these sides are important but I feel they are imbalanced within me.
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