Feeling lost and shakey on this journey. Support welcome :)

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Feeling lost and shakey on this journey. Support welcome :)

Postby bobdylanfan » Wed Mar 23, 2016 11:53 pm

Hey guys I wanted to ask for your experience of going deeper into your true nature and higher in your vibration. Since listening to some Gangaji at the weekend it made me really question who I am. I've heard that question who am I so many times without really engaging with it. I got quite frustrated and asked myself that many times aswell as realising if all my perceptions, emotions and feeling change all the time they can't be me, I have to be something that doesn't change. This has made me really explore it over the last few days and to be honest I feel a bit lost. I now see I'm not this person I thought I was and feel very spacious aswell as very connected to nature. My friend who is also very spiritual has suggested that we still have to interact in physical form and to try and become more grounded, this is the first time I've ever thought about grounding myself which I guess would mean lowering my vibration, I've always thought the point was to go higher and deeper. I've never heard teachers say to ground yourself.

What's your experience with feeling overwhelmed and unsure of yourself on this journey?

Thankyou xx
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Re: Feeling lost and shakey on this journey. Support welcome

Postby Webwanderer » Thu Mar 24, 2016 12:55 am

I have found the better question is not "who" am I, but "what" am I. Who seems to inquire as to some underlying identity. What on the other hand, seems to explore into one's Essence. They may both lead ultimately to the same place but 'what' seems to be the shorter journey to valuable insight into ones true nature.

As to being spiritual, can you, or anyone, be anything else? We can live a physical human experience, but that seems to be just a unique spiritual environment - one of who knows how many. And I agree that living a more 'grounded' approach to this life experience is important. An over emphasis on spirituality can cause one to become more withdrawn than is helpful for a healthy life experience.

If we indeed came to this life by choice then we obviously saw value in the immersion in the environment. That said there is also value in a blending of a higher perspective with our physical adventures. This higher perspective is the influence of our greater nature within this amazing physical environment. We needn't be lost in this life adventure. We have inner guidance that is ever present to give us insight into our choices and explorations. We only need to learn the language of spirit and act upon the messages that flow from our experience.

WW
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Re: Feeling lost and shakey on this journey. Support welcome

Postby lmp » Thu Mar 24, 2016 3:08 am

I think that what we are is completely available to us, all of it, although we might not be familiar with looking at it all at once. We might spend a lot of time with relationships in the family or with work or with thoughts and feelings and so many aspects of what we are or of life remain unfamiliar to us, like something we discover gradually or forcefully when we look at it. But it is all there, including feeling disoriented, the feeling of losing egoic values and being like a puppet managed by something unknown. To go higher and deeper has significance but so does understanding the basics and being very grounded too.

To me, being unsure or overwhelmed matters more in relationships with other people than it does to me, I may feel that I come across as too spontaneous and flippant and uncoherent, but for myself I don't mind the ride, I'm just letting go of trying to be a certain way.

To come back to very basic questions of what the journey is about is very grounding for me. Not looking for that which is far away but at that which is clearly already here.
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Re: Feeling lost and shakey on this journey. Support welcome

Postby letitgo » Thu Mar 24, 2016 11:41 am

One of the most frustrating truths for me, has been ET's statement that confusion is good. Your question "who am I" has caused confusion and that's good. I think when we grow, we're in a constant back and forth with grounding and going higher, grounding and going higher. Since you can't have one without the other, "lower vibrations" are every bit as important as higher vibrations. Since we're here on earth, living this experience, lower might even be more important.

It's also really great - and interesting - that in this "shakey" time period, you're drawn to nature. There's no better way to ground yourself than sitting with your feet in the mud!

I kind of get on my soap box with this subject because all I tried to do for many years, was get to higher and higher levels and this brought me soooo much pain. I just thought if I got high enough, none of this would matter. Boy, does "this" matter. Ground yourself, then ground yourself some more! When we meditate and touch those areas of inspiration and lighter, gentler, more loving energies, then we either immediately or within a few days find the opposite of that energy within ourselves - here comes the confusion... (and confusion is good).

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Re: Feeling lost and shakey on this journey. Support welcome

Postby bobdylanfan » Thu Mar 24, 2016 2:34 pm

Thanks for your responses guys I forgot to mention that I had some kind of out of body experiences recently where I felt myself being pulled upwards when lying down and was uncontrollably crying. I remember still being aware and also letting to and consciously surrending. Also on the treadmill in the gym I was sprinting and couldn't feel my legs or body and had to stop. I have also felt quite withdrawn from society, friend and family recently aswell.

So what's the answer ? Touch in with this presence less? Become less interested In it ? Spend more time in mind? I admit I'm a little obsessed because it fascinates me
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Re: Feeling lost and shakey on this journey. Support welcome

Postby Sighclone » Thu Mar 24, 2016 8:42 pm

Welcome bobdylanfan!

Primary contact with Presence is very often disorienting -- it was for me, for sure. Fortunately I had a long fascination with Transcendentalism, Zen and TM, so had a trans-cultural foundation - but I still stumbled around for a few months - very normal. Since you arrived here, I assume you have read A New Earth...it's always worth returning to. The real problem, as you have expressed, is what to do with "the old me"? Well, there is a difference between personality and ego. Ego is a selfish, guarded, easily threatened, internal and false identity. But it is real. Real and false. Personality, however, remains throughout spiritual development. It might change a bit, but not radically. The same stuff can still make you laugh. ( You won't become "somebody else," but you might get more easy-going.) But after an awakening, there is a subtle distance created between your newly discovered, very aware spacious Self and old patterns, both egoic and personality styles. The Witness identity has been born. When Tolle talks about the "space" created, he is talking about a separation between the formerly automatic behavior and the new Viewer you have discovered "inside you" that is really much closer to your Absolute identity in Pure Consciousness. The Witness is also a stage in development and it is OK to stay there until it falls away too.

You can explore forever the characteristics of your egoic identity, and pay your psychologists to help you. And maybe then understand that identity form better. That's fine. But the Awakened Self cannot be explored and dissected because it doesn't have pieces and parts, and is non-local. The "I Am" is simply Being, and is the Source for all forms and all thinking. Discovering it is almost like discovering a sixth sense.

Regarding the not feeling body parts on the treadmill - double check. Can you feel them if you want? I'll bet you can. You are discovering a new skill - it is a form of astral travel. Full disclosure: I don't have that skill, only have read a lot about it. So I will recommend you buy "The Multi-dimensional Human" by Kurt Leland -- it is a stunning and compelling and beautifully written discussion of what is happening to you and what has happened to several members here. Not something to fear, but definitely something to study extensively.

Send me a PM if you would like a copy of my little essay titled "Four Selves" that explores the various levels of identity we can find.
Also read this article on Spiritual Bypassing by John Welwood: http://www.johnwelwood.com/articles/Embodying.pdf It helps you understand your withdrawal tendency.

I also like "In Touch" by John Prendergast -- has to do with the Inner Body, plus he is a fine nondual teacher, therapist and writer.

Be confident - you will get through this!!

Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce
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Re: Feeling lost and shakey on this journey. Support welcome

Postby Onceler » Fri Mar 25, 2016 2:30 pm

Another excellent inquiry is, 'How does it feel to be me'. Feel it, don't think it. I wouldn't expect immediate results. In my experience inquiry unfolds over time and there can be many confusing digressions. It takes awhile for the fear and defensive mechanisms to deconstruct. But they do. :wink:
Be present, be pleasant.
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Re: Feeling lost and shakey on this journey. Support welcome

Postby bobdylanfan » Tue Mar 29, 2016 12:58 pm

Thanks again guys especially Andy, that john welwood article was very intersting and helpful. I'd love a copy of what your piece aswell I ll PM you. It's all settled down quite a bit since last week. I really felt like I was going nuts at one point, quite scary stuff, I guess you don't always realise how challenging this exploration can be at times. I also feel once you ve seen the light it's hard to ignore it although I'm sure some people do. I think a bit part of the uncomfortableness for me was obsessing over it and having too much free time to think about. I've given my self a bit of a break now and realise it's not a race and to really make an effort to see my friends and family again and stop withdrawing so much. I understand this tendency as you feel you don't have the definite character traits you once had and need time to re adjust before presenting yourself to the world again. Lots of love guys, thankyou xx
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Re: Feeling lost and shakey on this journey. Support welcome

Postby Sighclone » Tue Mar 29, 2016 5:56 pm

It is not a race -- well put!

I think you will enjoy Prendergast's "In Touch" very much and recommend it again to you.

It's perfectly Ok to drop this whole spiritual awakening concept for a while, too.

Here is a little piece I wrote about the inertia of egoic patterns - but don't get lost in the later nit-picking if it's confusing...robx and rach and I go round and round frequently.

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=13567&p=125548#p125548

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There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce
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