Presence led me to more indifference

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Presence led me to more indifference

Postby sergeyrar » Fri Mar 25, 2016 4:50 pm

Hi,

I've always been kind of indifferent to things, and after Eckhart's teachings even more.
I don't care about anything, except for things that are immediately related to me... So when I try to socialize with other people, who usually talk about mainstream things such as - politics, sports, cars ... etc .
I don't have anything to contribute to the conversation - because I really don't care about these stuff, so it makes me feel like a stranger.
People around me usually have an opinion about almost everything, so when we talk ... I have very little to contribute to the conversation because I don't have opinions - this makes me feel dull and boring.

From the other hand, I actually tried to get into some of these topics, so I can socialize a bit more... but I just couldn't do it - It felt so unimportant and stupid. ( for example - politics , everyone seems to like it so much... and argue about parties and politicians .. but to me it seems so meaningless.. because my personal effect on this is nearly zero - i'm a single vote out of millions - so why even bother (plus who really knows if the information out there is even accurate), same thing about cars - My car brings me from A to B , That's all I care about... I don't care about car models, breaks systems... etc.)


Any advice on how can I accept my boringness ? or any other advice ?

Thanks,
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Re: Presence led me to more indifference

Postby DavidB » Sat Mar 26, 2016 2:13 am

You're not alone. I can't be bothered with most conversation neither. Don't care much for materialism. Don't care what people think of me, nor care what I might think of other people. There is a sort of indifference or disassociation that occurs with presence, more or less. You can literally be so unconcerned, or so un-bothered that you can stop eating and drinking and participating, and blissfully pass away.

The cure to that is to understand that the love of life is the love of what life is doing. Which means that the joy of being is the joy of doing consciously.

Don't concern yourself with whether or not you are boring, it really doesn't matter. Most people are insane anyway. :wink:

True too, a single vote doesn't make much difference. However, an ignorant vote can be dangerous. In my opinion, if we don't know what we are voting for, or voting on a single issue or making an emotional vote, then please do the rest of us a favor, don't vote.
“Wisdom is knowing I am nothing, Love is knowing I am everything, and between the two my life moves.” ― Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
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Re: Presence led me to more indifference

Postby sergeyrar » Sat Mar 26, 2016 11:12 am

sergeyrar wrote:Don't concern yourself with whether or not you are boring, it really doesn't matter. Most people are insane anyway.



Yeah that might be true, yet I feel like I'm always a third wheel.
This all thing might have negative impact on my career as well.
Guys that do socialize more are noticed more, and can more easily get promoted for example.
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Re: Presence led me to more indifference

Postby GermanEnlightenment » Sat Mar 26, 2016 12:02 pm

@sergeyrar

What you could ask yourself is this: What conversations topics are actually interesting to me?
You don´t like talking about cars and politics? No problem, you are not obliged to. But what would you rather talk about with people? Because the thing is, you might be annoyed that people only talk about "superficial" stuff but if you keep doing that as well there´s no way that you can attract people with whom you can actually talk about things that excite you or you are passionate about.

I was once like you too. I thought I had to change myself to be able to talk about the things that the general public finds interesting (gossip, politics, cars, celebrities etc.) but that is the wrong way to approach things. Figure out what you are naturally interested in and then start sharing it with people. Sure, a lot of people that you are currently talking to won´t be interested in that and drop away but that´s not an issue. You will find other people that share your excitment and enthuasiasm for the things that are of interest to you. I f.e. found people that were interested in spirituality and in depth movie-discussions. These were people that just seem to appear in my life as soon as I was ready to share myself with the world. You live in a world of abundance. There will always people who are a match to you. You just have to be courageous enough to let the world see who you really are. :)
"Happiness / Something in my own place / I'm standing naked / Smiling, I feel no disgrace / With who I am/ I´m a lucky man...with fire in my hands"
(The Verve - Lucky Man)
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Re: Presence led me to more indifference

Postby Webwanderer » Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:30 pm

Awakening consciousness is not meant for withdrawal, it's meant for a higher quality of engagement. Engage your career with the best you have to offer. Allow clarity of consciousness and being to forge the best of relationships. Have fun with people and be true to your self. There's no right or wrong in the greater sense. There's only the experience of life and what it feels like to be human.

WW
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Re: Presence led me to more indifference

Postby DavidB » Sun Mar 27, 2016 2:08 am

sergeyrar wrote:
sergeyrar wrote:Don't concern yourself with whether or not you are boring, it really doesn't matter. Most people are insane anyway.



Yeah that might be true, yet I feel like I'm always a third wheel.
This all thing might have negative impact on my career as well.
Guys that do socialize more are noticed more, and can more easily get promoted for example.


Society in general tends to cater to extroverts rather than introverts. I tend to be more introverted by nature but have over the years become more extroverted. It took me a long time to learn to be more extroverted, as it certainly doesn't come naturally to me at all.

I think the tendency to be self consciousness plays a big role in introversion tendencies, so maybe try and be more interested in others and try and notice that tendency to become introspective, and in a sense, try and ignore the desire to become self focused. It's very difficult to do at first, but with practice, you can come out of your shell by being more interested in others. You learn a lot about yourself from other people anyway.

When I say ignore, I mean try and not be drawn into the self focus, just accept that you feel that way, and you have that tendency, which is fine, no problem. But shift your focus away from the internal and shift toward the external. The desire to self focus will become less intrusive, the more you practice shifting away from that inner turmoil. It's not easy, but I know it can be done, I did it.

I know your not that interested in people or what they talk about, and neither am I. But if being more interesting is your goal, then that only comes from being more interested. I tend to try and see these interactions and relationships as opportunities to know and understand the human condition better, which is to say, know yourself better, which is what I'm interested in. :wink:
“Wisdom is knowing I am nothing, Love is knowing I am everything, and between the two my life moves.” ― Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
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Re: Presence led me to more indifference

Postby sergeyrar » Sun Mar 27, 2016 9:04 am

What you could ask yourself is this: What conversations topics are actually interesting to me?


Even the topics I like, I have nothing much to say about :D
I like movies, but I rarely remember specifics.
I like video games, but don't have any exciting experiences to share (since I play old games, can't afford new equipment)
I like running and playing volleyball, nothing much to say about that...


Plus, since I started accepting things as they are - I almost don't have opinions about things.
and just conveying facts seems meaningless to me - since nowadays we have google and can check everything we need.
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