bulimia still has its grip on me.

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bulimia still has its grip on me.

Post by urvi » Tue Apr 26, 2016 7:32 pm

I've been bulimic for the last 3 years of my life. In these years I managed to ruin my health, grades and career. Things got better when I stumbled upon Eckhart's books but even now I cannot disidentfy from my egoic identity (from bulimic to bulimic in recovery). I have binge-purge episodes even when I have decided a thousand times to never do it again. Sometimes I see my thoughts and let them pass but there are times when I just give in. It's like a part of me is scared of a free and happy life. This has brutally affected my confidence and faith in myself, I am now absolutely clueless about almost everything in life. Whenever I decide to do something that requires commitment, hard work and patience I back out quickly, unconsciously believing that my eating disorder would barge in and wont let me succeed. It has been holding me back and I know it yet I cannot stop. I'm losing faith and trust in me.

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Re: bulimia still has its grip on me.

Post by smiileyjen101 » Fri Apr 29, 2016 3:34 pm

None of us here are doctors, but I'm sorry for your suffering urvi.
It's like a part of me is scared of a free and happy life.
Have you had professional counselling to find out what that part is about?
You wouldn't be alone in living with that fear and creating self sabotaging habits.

I think it's good that you can see underneath, it shows you're willing to at least take a peek.

What was it about ET's work that you found helpful?
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen

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