Meditation frustration

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Meditation frustration

Postby bobdylanfan » Tue Jul 05, 2016 4:49 pm

Hi guys my spiritual practice up to this point has been resting as awareness which has kept my cruising along quite nicely until recently, I've not been able to rest as awareness. I've been drawn to start mediating and would love any shares from you experienced mediators, I basically sit there and allow everything to be and watch my mind do it's little dance and want to work out what's next. Because I've had the experience of resting as awareness which is basically becoming aware of awareness, I find this mediation frustrating and boring. I can sit there and just be and feel this empty spaciousness but without the coming home "ahh" feeling u get from recognising awareness . It's almost like I can feel the empty spaciousness but I can't be it. It's so hard to recognise it because it's indescribable and seems unfindable.

I can see that my biggest fear is I'm wasting my time mediating 2 hours a day, I've heard of spiritual teachers meditating for decades before realising what's looking is what they been looking for. Any practical advice would be most welcome, thankyou.
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Re: Meditation frustration

Postby Rob X » Thu Jul 07, 2016 1:01 pm

bobdylanfan wrote:Hi guys my spiritual practice up to this point has been resting as awareness which has kept my cruising along quite nicely until recently, I've not been able to rest as awareness. I've been drawn to start mediating and would love any shares from you experienced mediators, I basically sit there and allow everything to be and watch my mind do it's little dance and want to work out what's next. Because I've had the experience of resting as awareness which is basically becoming aware of awareness, I find this mediation frustrating and boring. I can sit there and just be and feel this empty spaciousness but without the coming home "ahh" feeling u get from recognising awareness . It's almost like I can feel the empty spaciousness but I can't be it. It's so hard to recognise it because it's indescribable and seems unfindable.

I can see that my biggest fear is I'm wasting my time mediating 2 hours a day, I've heard of spiritual teachers meditating for decades before realising what's looking is what they been looking for. Any practical advice would be most welcome, thankyou.


Recently I heard meditation defined as 'making space for God'. I quite like that although I would drop the word God and use something like Life or Source or maybe just THIS - this that IS.

So it's all about making space in order that the obvious shines through. That's all that needs to be 'done'.

I've been meditating for nearly seventeen years - I do 45 mins in the morning which I enjoy even though for at least two thirds of it I find myself drifting and returning (yes, even after seventeen years.) The rest of the day there are periods of spontaneous noticing/recognition - I find that walks in nature are conducive for this. There's really no need for anyone to meditate two hours (+) a day unless they are looking for deep states of cessation, deep samadhi etc. These states are pleasant enough but can be another attachment.

This 'making space' business is the key here. Don't anticipate results - that puts you in memory mode where you are, in effect, striving to return to something that you have tasted before. Memory is the wrong tool/faculty for the job of clear seeing (it's as inappropriate as using your nose to appreciate a symphony.) Instead relax, be here, be open with a gentle curiosity - make space and see what turns up. If nothing turns up then that's what is turning up. Frustration might happen but see that that is a sign of the anticipation mode - and let that happen too and in doing so it will recede. And just see that it's okay for everything to be just as it is.
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Re: Meditation frustration

Postby randomguy » Sat Jul 09, 2016 5:21 pm

Realizations and states change and fade away. Holding on to them and forming an attachment to some particular expectation about returning to a state or experience can be a source of frustration.

Consider for a moment. If everything is truly allowed to be then why the frustration with no "ahh" feeling. How is it known the ah feeling is supposed to be there when it is not? Does the underlying awareness have a preference one way or another or is this playing out in thought and thought based experience?

Maybe try leaving the meditation chair and do without meditation for a while ans see how that is.

An end goal of sorts was stated as "realising what's looking is what they been looking for". There is alot to examine there aside from the assumption that there is an end goal at all to awakening.

"What's looking" is it ever not looking? Does it turn off when you are not meditating. Does it care if you are asleep or awake? Is it cranky when there is no "ahh state"? Is it eternally there through the day and night and during egoic spaz attacks? Is it bothered? Are you already THAT but just also happen to experience attantion steeped in some thoughts of this or the other?
Do the yellow-rose petals
tremble and fall
at the rapid's roar?
- Basho
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Re: Meditation frustration

Postby sardinelover » Wed Jul 13, 2016 3:40 am

It is important to get a break from the stream of thought as frequently as you can throughout the day.

15-30 minutes of meditation a day is sufficient. Try five 3-minute sessions or six 5-minute sessions throughout the day.

Once your presence power grows, you can put your awareness into your mind or body throughout the day and it becomes an all-day meditation.
Relax your face
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