Is it possible to be happy completely alone?

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Is it possible to be happy completely alone?

Postby fortune » Sun Jan 08, 2017 5:40 pm

I'm in a particular part of my life right now where I feel certain things have run their course. I have things to look forward to but for the foreseeable future (year and a half maybe) I feel i'm pretty much just going to be working and feel a lot of passion and belief has subsided. I feel I'm not in the right environment to help me flourish although I'm stuck with it for now. A big part of my personality over the years has been aiming high and going after what I want but I don't see a lot of opportunities right now which makes me feel unhappy.

Our environment is very important to how we feel and I've always been the kind of person where I only rely on myself but can we really be happy, achieve our goals and function in society without a social life?

I mean completely alone within oneself without the need to acquire possessions that we know will not makes us happy but at the same time be involved in the goings on of life. If I feel that what I'm tying to achieve will not have an impact I'm not going to make an effort but I don't want to be completely cut off, if I wasn't bothered I'd just go meditate in cave somewhere for the next 50 years which wouldn't make me happy either.
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Re: Is it possible to be happy completely alone?

Postby dijmart » Sun Jan 08, 2017 8:26 pm

but can we really be happy, achieve our goals and function in society without a social life?


I think this depends on the individual person. There is no one size fits all answer to this, imo. There are tons of lonely, unhappy people, even here on this forum, who claim they have no way to change this. Then you have people who choose to be alone, more so then socializing. So, only you, can answer this question, for you.
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Re: Is it possible to be happy completely alone?

Postby eputkonen » Thu Jan 12, 2017 11:05 pm

Yes, it is possible to be happy completely alone.
Our environment is not necessarily important to how we feel.

Have you found the Joy and Happiness within? If so, you can be completely happy alone and regardless of most foreseeable environments you would likely find yourself in.

If you haven't found the Joy and Happiness within...then it really doesn't matter where you go or who you are with - it may temporarily make you feel happier, but it won't last. This is what fuels the search for so many...looking for what will complete them, fill them, make them happy. But it can not be found outside of yourself, it is found within. Once it is found within, you take it everywhere with you.

I would suggest looking inward.
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Re: Is it possible to be happy completely alone?

Postby dijmart » Thu Jan 12, 2017 11:17 pm

eputkonen wrote:Yes, it is possible to be happy completely alone.
Our environment is not necessarily important to how we feel.

Have you found the Joy and Happiness within? If so, you can be completely happy alone and regardless of most foreseeable environments you would likely find yourself in.

If you haven't found the Joy and Happiness within...then it really doesn't matter where you go or who you are with - it may temporarily make you feel happier, but it won't last. This is what fuels the search for so many...looking for what will complete them, fill them, make them happy. But it can not be found outside of yourself, it is found within. Once it is found within, you take it everywhere with you.

I would suggest looking inward.


Well, where have you been? First post in 4 1/2 years!!! Welcome back :)
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Re: Is it possible to be happy completely alone?

Postby eputkonen » Thu Jan 12, 2017 11:34 pm

dijmart wrote:Well, where have you been? First post in 4 1/2 years!!! Welcome back :)


Thanks...just a long siesta.
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Re: Is it possible to be happy completely alone?

Postby fortune » Sun Jan 15, 2017 6:54 pm

When people say 'you'll find it within', it implies that it is a thing which its not, so what exactly is it? a belief? a way of thinking? somewhere to direct attention?
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Re: Is it possible to be happy completely alone?

Postby dijmart » Sun Jan 15, 2017 7:36 pm

fortune wrote:When people say 'you'll find it within', it implies that it is a thing which its not, so what exactly is it? a belief? a way of thinking? somewhere to direct attention?


I can't speak for Eput who made the statement, but the way I see it, you find "it" within, because, you can't find "it" (your true nature-pure awareness) in objects/forms. You are correct in saying, it is not a thing, things are objects known to "it", to you, you are "it". Understanding this is the point to spritual teachings and no, it's not a thing or belief. It's a solid knowing that, "I am awareness". In Vedanta, this happens by the experience of Self realization, then teachings and assimilation of Self knowledge, whereby all doubt and ignorance of one's true nature is removed.
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Re: Is it possible to be happy completely alone?

Postby eputkonen » Sun Jan 15, 2017 9:55 pm

fortune wrote:When people say 'you'll find it within', it implies that it is a thing which its not, so what exactly is it? a belief? a way of thinking? somewhere to direct attention?


Using language or words at all implies thing-ness. So don't get too caught up in the words or literalness. Within as opposed to looking outside yourSelf.

Not a belief, not a way of thinking, etc. Joy and happiness are found within yourSelf because it is what you truly are. It is about realizing and understanding (deeply) who/what you are. In India they would say that you are Satchitananda...which means you are Being, Consciousness, and Bliss.
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Re: Is it possible to be happy completely alone?

Postby Webwanderer » Mon Jan 16, 2017 3:25 pm

fortune wrote:When people say 'you'll find it within', it implies that it is a thing which its not, so what exactly is it? a belief? a way of thinking? somewhere to direct attention?

The pointer to 'look within' is to make the distinction that looking for understanding and clarity in the words of others is not the best place to find it. Understanding and clarity is born of insight from, and into, our own true nature. Recognition is an internal experience. Even using the words of the language we speak is secondary to the quietude of feeling our way to what, on some level, we already know. It is not a belief. It is the light in the darkness of beliefs.

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Re: Is it possible to be happy completely alone?

Postby painBody » Tue Jan 24, 2017 9:26 am

My answer, and I know it won't be a popular one on this site, is ... no !

To me, the reason for my answer comes down to honoring the form, which is to say that humans are social animals, and we are not meant to be isolated/alienated/quarantined. Sure, you could do it, to prove to the rest of the world how "tough" you are, but don't expect much happiness to come out of it.

Being social, to me, is almost as primordial as the need to eat to survive and almost as important. You could sit under a tree and be present and not consume any food. Depending on how much fat/muscle your body has, your state of presence will come to an end in roughly 4 to 8 weeks ... you know what I mean.

Now, how do you reconcile honoring the form with what Eckhart says about contentment coming entirely from within ? That's for you to figure out, i.e. find a balance that works for you. In theory, sure, people can claim to be perfectly content alone, but in practice, it's a different story. Awakening can surely give you a new perspective on the world of form, and it probably will, but the basic needs of the form still need to be honored, at least to the extent of them being needs, i.e. not in excess.

If you're not convinced that honoring the (human) form is important, then consider this ... even after you "awakened", you didn't stop eating/drinking, did you ? You didn't stop urinating/defecating ? You didn't stop sleeping ? You didn't stop desiring sex ?

"No, I still do all those things.", you say. Good. Then, you didn't stop needing people. You may have a new way of looking at others ... you may respect them more, you may have more compassion for them, your interactions with them may not be as egoic/needy, but you still need them.
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Re: Is it possible to be happy completely alone?

Postby ekidhardt » Tue Jan 24, 2017 3:29 pm

This sounds like a compound problem--a complicated question.

You said
"but I don't see a lot of opportunities right now which makes me feel unhappy. "

Remember, it's not the circumstances in life which make us unhappy (mostly), but how we feel about those circumstances. A shift of perspective can change quite a bit.

From your quote, you're saying that your perception of a lack of opportunities is making you unhappy.

I'd guess that you're pursuing fulfillment/meaning in your life--a cornerstone pursuit of being human, very normal. Figuring out what will provide that meaning is essential.

I've read and listened to a lot on the subject--and there's one component to satisfaction with life that I've seen across multiple books/lectures: and that's the long-term value of relationships. If there is a single common thread I've seen in terms of providing long-term fulfillment, it's good relationships (friends, family etc). I would highly suggest taking the time to develop some good relationships; I think it'd be worth the effort.
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