Cheating and Trust

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Cheating and Trust

Postby Rajendra » Mon Feb 06, 2017 1:32 am

Dear Community,

for some time i am wondering what Advice Eckhart Tolle would give me. So now i am happy i found this forum and i hope that experienced Tolle Follower maybe are willing to give me some input.

I try to make it short so far.

After seven years i broke up with my boyfriend. We love each other deeply and have wonderful times together, but he was untruthful from time to time. Every time something happened with another girl (flirting, chatting, little times more..) it hurts me so much, i can not find the right words for it. Like Collapsing. So i go through horrible times from time to time. He is not a classical Ass-Cheater, he is just charming and girls always like to flirt with him. I think its a part of him (and sadly i am very sensitive). He dont wants to hurt me, and now he is at the point where he is saying that he can control this desires and is not in need of that ecxitement anymore.

But i am at the point where i am so afraid of maybe going through that pain again, that i rather leave the person i love. Even though he changed a lot the last years (from narcisstic tendenzies to calmness and growing spirituality etc)

Is it crazy to put fear over love?
should i just live in the moment and try just not to think about what could happen?
Do you have other thougts about this?

I am very happy in advance about every thougt of you

kindly Rajandra
Rajendra
 
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Re: Cheating and Trust

Postby dijmart » Mon Feb 06, 2017 5:44 pm

No one can love without the possibility of loss. One's partner could leave, cheat, die, etc. It's always a possibility. You have to decide if you love him enough to want to risk him possibly hurting you again. There is no guarantee one way or the other. You'd have to be willing to chance it and since he has hurt you in the past, the odds are greater that it can happen again. There's an upside and a down side to both decisions you're faced with, pick the one you feel you can most easily live with and brings you peace of mind.
Take what you like and leave the rest.
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Re: Cheating and Trust

Postby Rajendra » Mon Feb 06, 2017 7:36 pm

Thanks dijmart, for sharing your train of thougt with me. I will think about your words
Rajendra
 
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Re: Cheating and Trust

Postby Rajendra » Thu Feb 09, 2017 1:33 am

I guess inner peace is just not possible in any way.
So i choose to go trouth the pain one more, but hopefully the last time.
Better no love, than fear all my life.
I wish everybody else here that you can love free and with a light heart.
Rajendra
 
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Re: Cheating and Trust

Postby dijmart » Thu Feb 09, 2017 6:30 pm

Seems you've made your decision. I hope the pain ends sooner, then later for you. It's a tough call, because on one hand he could change, but on the other, he may not and you'd kick yourself for taking him back.
Take what you like and leave the rest.
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Re: Cheating and Trust

Postby Enjoybeing » Mon Feb 27, 2017 8:09 am

My life situation is similar to yours and most likely most of us experience the same pain daily. Are there support groups for believers of these teachings. What I'm trying to say is there a specific group of individuals touched by the same teachings that meet or talk regularly? San Diego was my first meeting and I'd truly enjoy gett No know other like minded people. Is anyone aware of groups that meet in the Midwest to discuss these teachings?
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Re: Cheating and Trust

Postby dijmart » Mon Feb 27, 2017 3:58 pm

You could try meetup.com and do a search.
Take what you like and leave the rest.
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