Fear of making myself vulnerable to Fundamentalism

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Fear of making myself vulnerable to Fundamentalism

Post by jtightlips21 » Mon Feb 27, 2017 4:55 am

I have been observing my thoughts, and have noticed that the biggest fear in letting go of my Ego is of making myself vulnerable to abusive cultlike systems. Long story short, several years back, I got involved with Catholic Fundamentalism due to some difficulties I had with being stuck in an unpromising education at a tech school, and not sure what to do next, and some strange and creepy supernatural experiences I had. So I became more vulnerable to Fundamentalist religions in seeking out exact answers and protection from what had frightened me. However, I got drawn into Fundamentalist Catholicism, due to having always attended this church throughout my life. However, Fundamentalist Catholicism is like most forms of Fundamentalism see it as their way or Eternal Torture. However the Fundamentalist Catholic teaching was that since I knew their teachings, if I trespassed against their rules, or left the church I would be guilty of mortal sin and need to confess to a priest before I died or go to hell. Plus, they referred to those Catholics who did not follow the teaching down to the very letter as Cafeteria Catholics, and viewed them at risk of Eternal Damnation(That would be my whole family). I have found that Fundamentalism is pretty much a manifestation of the Collective Ego where ones individuality is suppressed and shamed with the intent on meshing them into the collective demands of a percieved authority(often in Fundamentalism an Egocentric concept of God, or religious leaders), or the ideologies(Such as their creeds, rules and practices). SO this was a terrifying experience, with worrying about my family, the guilt placed on me just for being born, and constant fear of going to Hell if I had a naughty thought, or having doubt about the teachings.

So I had left years ago, but my own personal Ego became inflated as a way to protect myself from ever becoming vulnerable to Spiritual Abuse, with developing a strong willingness to learn philosophy, ethics, science, psychology, Politics, metaphysics, Paranormal Studies and World Religion to prove that this kind of system grounded on controlling people through fear was all wrong and had no truth to offer. So my own personal Ego developed into a strong sense of Individuality where I see myself as my own master. So I hate being controlled through threats of punishment, being told what to do, lectured, criticized, corrected or having people sticking their nose in my business. I also have a strong hatred of Dogmatic Ideologies, strict authorities, or any form of Collectivism. But I think it is about protecting myself from entertaining the possibility that Fundamentalism could be true, that might really does make right, or that all Goodness and truth are relative to power.

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Re: Fear of making myself vulnerable to Fundamentalism

Post by dijmart » Mon Feb 27, 2017 6:05 am

What comes to mind to tell you is... drop it all! There seems to be a fight within your own mind. It seems to be a mind made problem.

How is this helping you? I'd say it isnt, if anything you're building a mental wall of protection around yourself, trying to avoid future pain. However, you seem to have learned from the fundamentalist experience, so what are you afraid of?

Just don't blindly accept what people say, unless you see some truth in it or sense that perhaps you should listen. Then, always verify it against your own experience and Self inquiry.

You left that religion years ago, you said, but can you see how you are allowing to still effect your present?
Take what you like and leave the rest.

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