Long term decisions (stop drinking, losing weight)?

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Long term decisions (stop drinking, losing weight)?

Postby mue114 » Wed Apr 19, 2017 12:39 am

Dear someone who understands Tolle's teaching better than me! :)

I have a question for a long time.
What about long term plans?
I know Tolle says its OK to solve everydays task with your mind.
But what about long term plans?
I got alcohol problem for 18 years. Fan of Tolle's teaching for 5 years.
I got overweight problems.
These things usually are solved by making a long term decisions, like "I'm an alcoholic who wants to be cured, so I will never drink again".
Or "I'm an overweight person. To lose weight I need to lose weight in half a year, continously taking less calories."
Or maybe "I would like to play the piano, so everyday I will practice one hour".

These things are very hard for me, especially since I'm trying to practice Tolle's teachings.
Maybe in a moment I feel it total true that I want to give up alcohol forever, but there comes a party... And now stop for a moment and pls dont think about that my alcohol addiction is talking in my head. In that party I think why cannot I drink that wine, get drunk, singing out loud with all those people? And its a true feeling. I feel like if I say no this moment I deny the life in a rude way. This cannot be the way to go.
Or same happens when I'm doing great with my diet, and some weeks later I have a strong feeling: its not right to say no to this nice meal, or I just skip some of my excercises.
Or I'm lazy and I say today I dont wanna practice piano, and next time I say it again, and finally I end up I give it up totally after 3 months.
In the present I dont wanna be blocked by my long term plans. I wanna be free. Free even from my own plans if I feel its not the right thing to do in that moment.

These are things which all need to MAKE A STRONG LONG TERM DECISION TO COMPLETE THEM.

How present moment relates to these things?

With alchol my first try was like 6 months. Second try it was 3 months. Third try, last year, 1.5 months. Fourth try, 3 weeks ago, 2 weeks.
I feel that my presence is growing year by year and paralelly the capability to accomplish long term plans is reducing. The two things happening same time.

I feel something like the answer is that I will only accomplish any of these goals only when GOD also wants me to accomplish it.
Until my deepest presence is not directing me to the way of accomplishing it, I can do whatever I want, I can do any plans with my mind, I will fall.
So my conclusion is I cannot help anything about this, mind-made plans wont work for me. All I can do hoping that sometime my inner INTELLIGENCE would wants to have the same experience what my mind wants (stop drinking alcohol, losing weight, etc) Until that I need to totally forgive creating those plans, and focus only to the PRESENT moment. And after that, continue doing the same, of course :).

Sometimes I have a feel like what if this life wants to experience these kind of sufferings. I need to as deep into them as I need to go.

I hope your comment will not be about I need to stop drinking alcohol because it kills me, and whenever I feel like drinking again I should know its the devil addiction in my mind. It's not about that.

One more thing. Sometimes when I'm in deep meditation I can feel alcohol is also a very nice thing in my life who helps me to know myself deeper. I can feel even such a gratitude towards to it that my tears comes out.

But my mind says it's my killer and I need to stop drinking it F O R E V E R.

Where is the truth my friends? :)

Mate from Hungary
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Re: Long term decisions (stop drinking, losing weight)?

Postby meetjoeblack » Sat Apr 22, 2017 5:39 am

I am the wrong person to help you understand Tolle however, I am losing weight :) so maybe I can help.

Something I notice is that, if I don't buy it, I wont eat it. :D

Alcohol brought the worst out of me (horny, angry, fighting) so, I abstain from indulging. I heard a tv where a Muslim was saying the Quran says to not indulge rather than to try and resist so, you must avoid it at all cost. The example they gave was men and women. You cannot resist your urge so, you avoid being alone with a woman you are not married with.

Also, with weight loss, everything helps. Fitness, running, mobility, exercises, nutritional balanced diet of your macro (proteins, fats, carbs) and micros (vitamins, minerals). Maybe look at a trainer that can help you find these goals. It helped me get my program started and I feel like I am thriving. I still have ways to go but, I am approaching this journey with child-like curiosity.
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Re: Long term decisions (stop drinking, losing weight)?

Postby mue114 » Fri Sep 08, 2017 1:32 am

Thanks for your answer, but it is a practical answer which is common. My question was not about if I should avoid it or not. But living in presence how can support your long-term decisions? If anyone have own experience in this, I'm still appreciate an answer.
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Re: Long term decisions (stop drinking, losing weight)?

Postby mue114 » Fri Sep 08, 2017 11:35 am

Thanks for your answer but your point is the same as any other opinion: alcohol is bad. Yes, I know. But now the question was not that.

meetjoeblack wrote:I am the wrong person to help you understand Tolle however, I am losing weight :) so maybe I can help.

Something I notice is that, if I don't buy it, I wont eat it. :D

Alcohol brought the worst out of me (horny, angry, fighting) so, I abstain from indulging. I heard a tv where a Muslim was saying the Quran says to not indulge rather than to try and resist so, you must avoid it at all cost. The example they gave was men and women. You cannot resist your urge so, you avoid being alone with a woman you are not married with.

Also, with weight loss, everything helps. Fitness, running, mobility, exercises, nutritional balanced diet of your macro (proteins, fats, carbs) and micros (vitamins, minerals). Maybe look at a trainer that can help you find these goals. It helped me get my program started and I feel like I am thriving. I still have ways to go but, I am approaching this journey with child-like curiosity.
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Re: Long term decisions (stop drinking, losing weight)?

Postby stillseeker51 » Mon Sep 25, 2017 1:57 pm

mue114 - you took the words right out of my mouth. I struggle with the exact same issues and have the same question. I hope someone wise can help us with an answer.

Perhaps we two could try to support each other?

Greetings from Denmark
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Re: Long term decisions (stop drinking, losing weight)?

Postby Webwanderer » Tue Sep 26, 2017 12:28 am

Here's my suggestion. Begin to reprogram your thinking and your experience with your addiction.
mue114 wrote:Maybe in a moment I feel it total true that I want to give up alcohol forever, but there comes a party... And now stop for a moment and pls dont think about that my alcohol addiction is talking in my head. In that party I think why cannot I drink that wine, get drunk, singing out loud with all those people? And its a true feeling. I feel like if I say no this moment I deny the life in a rude way. This cannot be the way to go.
Or same happens when I'm doing great with my diet, and some weeks later I have a strong feeling: its not right to say no to this nice meal, or I just skip some of my excercises.

stillseeker51 wrote:I hope someone wise can help us with an answer.


The idea is to set the stage for whatever it is to die a natural death. Rather than simply saying "I want to give up drinking forever", begin saying with consistency "I don't like this feeling of alcohol." And mean it. "I don't like the taste of it." Focus on it's nastiness. "I don't like how it smells." Stinks up the whole house. "This isn't any fun, and I'd rather be clear minded". Make this a part of every experience. Never turn on yourself with belittling comments. Never identify yourself as an alcoholic. Just see every aspect of the experience as distasteful. Feel that distastefulness. Not with yourself, but with the experience.

It will likely take a some time, but slowly you will begin to make better choices. It will be less attractive. One less drink. One less outing. Wean the experience. Know you are worth it.

WW
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Re: Long term decisions (stop drinking, losing weight)?

Postby mue114 » Tue Sep 26, 2017 2:16 am

stillseeker51 wrote:mue114 - you took the words right out of my mouth. I struggle with the exact same issues and have the same question. I hope someone wise can help us with an answer.

Perhaps we two could try to support each other?

Greetings from Denmark


Hi there!
Why not?
Sounds great.
You can contact me at tolleralom@gmail.com
Last edited by mue114 on Tue Sep 26, 2017 2:27 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Long term decisions (stop drinking, losing weight)?

Postby mue114 » Tue Sep 26, 2017 2:26 am

Webwanderer wrote:Here's my suggestion. Begin to reprogram your thinking and your experience with your addiction.
mue114 wrote:Maybe in a moment I feel it total true that I want to give up alcohol forever, but there comes a party... And now stop for a moment and pls dont think about that my alcohol addiction is talking in my head. In that party I think why cannot I drink that wine, get drunk, singing out loud with all those people? And its a true feeling. I feel like if I say no this moment I deny the life in a rude way. This cannot be the way to go.
Or same happens when I'm doing great with my diet, and some weeks later I have a strong feeling: its not right to say no to this nice meal, or I just skip some of my excercises.

stillseeker51 wrote:I hope someone wise can help us with an answer.


The idea is to set the stage for whatever it is to die a natural death. Rather than simply saying "I want to give up drinking forever", begin saying with consistency "I don't like this feeling of alcohol." And mean it. "I don't like the taste of it." Focus on it's nastiness. "I don't like how it smells." Stinks up the whole house. "This isn't any fun, and I'd rather be clear minded". Make this a part of every experience. Never turn on yourself with belittling comments. Never identify yourself as an alcoholic. Just see every aspect of the experience as distasteful. Feel that distastefulness. Not with yourself, but with the experience.

It will likely take a some time, but slowly you will begin to make better choices. It will be less attractive. One less drink. One less outing. Wean the experience. Know you are worth it.

WW


I like your point, thanks. I would say I'll think about, but thats not the right answer here. :). I just will experience with it.
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Re: Long term decisions (stop drinking, losing weight)?

Postby meetjoeblack » Wed Sep 27, 2017 3:22 am

mue114 wrote:Thanks for your answer but your point is the same as any other opinion: alcohol is bad. Yes, I know. But now the question was not that.

meetjoeblack wrote:I am the wrong person to help you understand Tolle however, I am losing weight :) so maybe I can help.

Something I notice is that, if I don't buy it, I wont eat it. :D

Alcohol brought the worst out of me (horny, angry, fighting) so, I abstain from indulging. I heard a tv where a Muslim was saying the Quran says to not indulge rather than to try and resist so, you must avoid it at all cost. The example they gave was men and women. You cannot resist your urge so, you avoid being alone with a woman you are not married with.

Also, with weight loss, everything helps. Fitness, running, mobility, exercises, nutritional balanced diet of your macro (proteins, fats, carbs) and micros (vitamins, minerals). Maybe look at a trainer that can help you find these goals. It helped me get my program started and I feel like I am thriving. I still have ways to go but, I am approaching this journey with child-like curiosity.


I do psychedelics. Most recently, I smoked 30mg of DMT. I will be the last person to ever deem something as "bad."

My point was that, I abstain from that which brings the worse out of me therefore, alcohol I avoid like the plague. If its weight loss that you want, there are trainers you can get, and vblogs you can follow online. I don't believe in cheat meals if you are losing weight. It just seems like a fools gold. Also, with many youtube celebrities, many are on gear, and taking all sorts of performance enhancers so, I don't suggest ever comparing yourself.

Stop drinking, losing weight is thread title. instead of giving you an answer. I will ask a question. Have you lost weight while drinking?
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