Dear someone who understands Tolle's teaching better than me!
I have a question for a long time.
What about long term plans?
I know Tolle says its OK to solve everydays task with your mind.
But what about long term plans?
I got alcohol problem for 18 years. Fan of Tolle's teaching for 5 years.
I got overweight problems.
These things usually are solved by making a long term decisions, like "I'm an alcoholic who wants to be cured, so I will never drink again".
Or "I'm an overweight person. To lose weight I need to lose weight in half a year, continously taking less calories."
Or maybe "I would like to play the piano, so everyday I will practice one hour".
These things are very hard for me, especially since I'm trying to practice Tolle's teachings.
Maybe in a moment I feel it total true that I want to give up alcohol forever, but there comes a party... And now stop for a moment and pls dont think about that my alcohol addiction is talking in my head. In that party I think why cannot I drink that wine, get drunk, singing out loud with all those people? And its a true feeling. I feel like if I say no this moment I deny the life in a rude way. This cannot be the way to go.
Or same happens when I'm doing great with my diet, and some weeks later I have a strong feeling: its not right to say no to this nice meal, or I just skip some of my excercises.
Or I'm lazy and I say today I dont wanna practice piano, and next time I say it again, and finally I end up I give it up totally after 3 months.
In the present I dont wanna be blocked by my long term plans. I wanna be free. Free even from my own plans if I feel its not the right thing to do in that moment.
These are things which all need to MAKE A STRONG LONG TERM DECISION TO COMPLETE THEM.
How present moment relates to these things?
With alchol my first try was like 6 months. Second try it was 3 months. Third try, last year, 1.5 months. Fourth try, 3 weeks ago, 2 weeks.
I feel that my presence is growing year by year and paralelly the capability to accomplish long term plans is reducing. The two things happening same time.
I feel something like the answer is that I will only accomplish any of these goals only when GOD also wants me to accomplish it.
Until my deepest presence is not directing me to the way of accomplishing it, I can do whatever I want, I can do any plans with my mind, I will fall.
So my conclusion is I cannot help anything about this, mind-made plans wont work for me. All I can do hoping that sometime my inner INTELLIGENCE would wants to have the same experience what my mind wants (stop drinking alcohol, losing weight, etc) Until that I need to totally forgive creating those plans, and focus only to the PRESENT moment. And after that, continue doing the same, of course
Sometimes I have a feel like what if this life wants to experience these kind of sufferings. I need to as deep into them as I need to go.
I hope your comment will not be about I need to stop drinking alcohol because it kills me, and whenever I feel like drinking again I should know its the devil addiction in my mind. It's not about that.
One more thing. Sometimes when I'm in deep meditation I can feel alcohol is also a very nice thing in my life who helps me to know myself deeper. I can feel even such a gratitude towards to it that my tears comes out.
But my mind says it's my killer and I need to stop drinking it F O R E V E R.
Where is the truth my friends?
Mate from Hungary