Relationships

This is the place to post whatever questions you have related to the teachings of Eckhart Tolle. The rest of us will do whatever we can to help you achieve a better understanding :)
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Tulip54
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Relationships

Post by Tulip54 » Sat May 06, 2017 5:43 pm

Hello everyone,
The key is to stay in the present. To always allow what's happening to be I do understand that. Does anyone have any advice on how to stay in the present when your heart is breaking?
Eckhart says to feel the emotion but when you need to go through life and be with other people and the sadness is so deep within you how do you allow that to be?
I have met and formed a wonderful relationship with someone and we both know he is going back to his country on the other side of the world to me.
I try to enjoy what we have when we have it in the present but we know he will be gone in the future this inevitable.
Please does anyone have any guidance on how to deal with this.
Thank you for anyone that reads and replys and peace be with all of you.

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Webwanderer
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Re: Relationships

Post by Webwanderer » Sat May 06, 2017 10:19 pm

Tulip54 wrote:Does anyone have any advice on how to stay in the present when your heart is breaking?
What's wrong with sadness? If you don't make sadness wrong, but simply see it as a result of how you are perceiving current circumstances, you can more easily stay present. It's not the events that make your heart break. Rather it is how you perceive those events and the meaning you are applying to them that brings the experience you are having. Knowing how this process works in life is key to getting through these painful times. Explore the 'energy' you are feeling, not the 'heartbreak'. That's your term for the energy that only makes it more problematic than it has to be.

Know you will get past it when you can integrate it into clarity and understanding. And it's not something that you will 'figure out' intellectually. Rather it is something that you can 'feel out' through the understanding that it is a focus of energy based on a perceived meaning you apply to the circumstances.

WW

Tulip54
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Re: Relationships

Post by Tulip54 » Sat May 06, 2017 11:59 pm

Thank you so much for your reply.
It's wonderful to read that and understand what you are saying.
Thank you again WW

painBody
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Re: Relationships

Post by painBody » Tue May 09, 2017 9:25 pm

I understand how painful it can be to let someone go. There is one little metaphor I find useful in dealing with the loss of a relationship after the fact (after the person is gone).

I like to think of a person who entered my life and didn't wanna stay, or whose circumstances didn't let them stay, as a little bird in a cage. When the bird starts to flutter its wings against the cage, indicating that it wants/needs to fly away out of the cage, as painful as it is, I need to open the cage door and let it go.

And, that act of opening the cage door and watching the bird fly away is painful. However, after it has flown away, leaving an empty space in its wake, I feel a deep sacredness and peace, as I realize that, for whatever reason the mind may not comprehend, it couldn't stay with me any longer, and I let it go so it may find its rightful place ... I cooperated with the dance of phenomena ... I cooperated with the life/totality/universe.

There is a beauty and purity in this cooperation, as there is in the tree branches that sway with the winds, in one direction today and then another tomorrow ... never complaining, just honoring what is.

There is no point in denying that you will likely feel some pain in the short-term, when the loss occurs. But maybe, after the fact, think of the bird and the branches, and maybe it will help :)

P.S. I wrote a similar thread once, about holding on and letting go in relationships. If you're interested, it's here: http://eckhart-tolle-forum.inner-growth ... 35&t=13747

Tulip54
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Re: Relationships

Post by Tulip54 » Wed May 10, 2017 7:28 pm

Thank you pain body. What you wrote is very lovely and insightful

meetjoeblack
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Re: Relationships

Post by meetjoeblack » Thu Jun 08, 2017 4:54 am

Tulip54 wrote:Thank you pain body. What you wrote is very lovely and insightful
You feel it. Don't resist it. Go deeper into it. I found it is helpful to get active and do something to shake you out of the low state. When I was a kid, if I liked someone or something, lets say a butterfly, I would hold too tight, and it would get away or die. It was the hardest lesson for me to learn not to squeeze so tightly. What will be will be.

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