Running out of time :S

[meetjoeblack]

There is a certain character I always liked growing up and followed as a kid.

He wanted to be the strongest. He trained very hard and spent all his time obsessed with this goal to be his best. Regardless, the powers to be, the writers and creators of the show did not like the character. This meant that, no matter what, he had a fate, and at best he would always be #2. If he reached that point of #1, it was always short lived ending very similarly time and time again.

This feels all too familiar to me. Likely, this is why this character has always resonated for me. I identify with this character and I relate to that feeling fate/powers to be/the gods etc. I caution myself too because, I don't want to create a pity party. I am just aware.

Years ago, I lost some very close family. I've lost more and more. I lost a friend to suicide recently. I've known a lot of death and loss around me. Still, like the character, I've pursued on and on working very hard at my goals. I went to school and I struggled along. I had difficulties there and even had people causing me a conflict despite all the other tragedies I've endured. I plowed through obstacles and finished. I am back now at this crossroad of more education. I am just seeing a fork in the road.

I pursued further education because I wanted to better my circumstances and standing. In short, it did by offering me more opportunities but, not like how I wanted. I've endured quite a bit of workplace politics since. I am realizing more and more, I need to pave my own path, and look into entrepreneurship. There is no other way. More education is going to cost me money and I am not exactly thrilled at the idea. The market is terrible. I am placing out money in hope for a better future. The school I put my application into failed to process it so, I was placed on a wait list. In order to get the spot, I had to contact the Dean, and meet with him for him to overrule admissions. Years later, I am dealing with more and more nonsense with the schools admissions. Complete incompetency. Its very frustrating. Due to this incompetency, I am now waiting another year. I am also going to look at other options and school. Again, I've found the market to be very rotten so, the idea of bettering my situation is challenging.

In my teens, I had this job I really loved and was good at. Because I was good at it, I excelled really fast, and moved up quickly. Letters were coming in on my behalf to headquarters and to my boss. I went from part time to full time quickly. A boss that really didn't like me then demoted the supervisor that promoted me. He then cut my hours from full time to 6 hours a week. I had to go get a new job because of that. I then received a letter from headquarters that he just fired me and took me off the employee list. Such a piece of shit!

It worked out best as I got an even better job. Still, I've encountered quite a bit of nonsense like this politically despite excelling in the workplace. I am just at a crossroad and I know, there will be more workplace politics and nonsense no matter where I will go. The good news is that, I don't have a wife or kids therefore, I can always look for something better. What I am learning is that, I don't want to be a employee forever or I am at the mercy of this sort of madness.


Any advice for someone at that fork in the road? I have some decisions to make in the near future. I am just uncertain. I know my end game (start a business). I just uncertain as to what to do between now and then? More education is likely necessary but, I think I need a course correction. That power of messing with my hours and then cut completely out despite the excelling I had done is very disheartening. The year off from school is very disheartening as well. For now, it will give me time to work, save more money, and contemplate my career path going forward.


I feel my ego kicking off; I am running out of time it seems to be telling me

[Webwanderer]

Any advice for someone at that fork in the road? I have some decisions to make in the near future. I am just uncertain. I know my end game (start a business). I just uncertain as to what to do between now and then? More education is likely necessary but, I think I need a course correction.

I'm not suggesting anything by this statement other than its potential to bring insight. Office politics tend to be all too common on all sides. Be clearly honest with yourself about your work situations past and present. Not to do so is likely to create much the same conditions in future environments.

Be mostly concerned with your own strengths and weaknesses and how you can build upon both. There are more relevant and valuable kinds of education than that that comes from the classroom.

Know who you are, your own essence, at the most fundamental levels and office politics will be less of an issue to you. In the larger reality the jobs you hold and the career paths you follow will be less important than consciousness growth you unfold. Life here is opportunity regardless of circumstances. Take advantage where ever possible.

WW

[meetjoeblack]

Any advice for someone at that fork in the road? I have some decisions to make in the near future. I am just uncertain. I know my end game (start a business). I just uncertain as to what to do between now and then? More education is likely necessary but, I think I need a course correction.

I'm not suggesting anything by this statement other than its potential to bring insight.

What specifically? I know my end game. Start a business. I just feel like I need to accumulate more knowledge. Given my previous experience with formal education, I am not exactly thrilled especially given my experience with job prospects, administration, and even profs. It was and is so high school.

Office politics tend to be all too common on all sides. Be clearly honest with yourself about your work situations past and present. Not to do so is likely to create much the same conditions in future environments.

I am not sure what you mean? In one predicament, I am promoted, and moving along fast. The next, a boss out of jealous demotes the one that promoted me, cuts my hours down to 6, and then removes me from the employee list in cowardice fashion. Did not have the spine to come say or do it in person. When I called (never fired; received a letter in the mail), he refused to take my call. My performance was excellent. Similar stuff has followed me. Juggling the above along with my own well being and a series of deaths is hard especially with close family. I've lost friends to be it accidents or suicide and ODs. Its not shocking how the Buddha came to understanding that all paths in life lead to suffering.

Be mostly concerned with your own strengths and weaknesses and how you can build upon both. There are more relevant and valuable kinds of education than that that comes from the classroom.

Which is why I would like to start a business myself. I just feel like I need more experience. Whatever it is, I know I must be present, and passionate about it. More education doesn't sound all that exciting but, the phone isn't exactly ringing off the hook for prospects. Even more frustrating would be to spend more money, time, and energy only to be in the same predicament.

Know who you are, your own essence, at the most fundamental levels and office politics will be less of an issue to you. In the larger reality the jobs you hold and the career paths you follow will be less important than consciousness growth you unfold. Life here is opportunity regardless of circumstances. Take advantage where ever possible.

WW

No matter what, I stay true to myself, my faith, and presence. I can lessen the importance of office politics but, there is no progression and only mediocrity of I stay put. I can work 100x harder, I can be earlier, I can put in longer hours, and do more. There is no getting ahead. I know, "this too will pass," and yet, I am stuck at this moment trying to problem solve my way out of it.

As a child, I had a lot of hopes, and dreams. Time seems to steal this away if you let it as does coming of age. This theme of "running out of time" seems to replay itself over and over again. It is definitely my ego and painbody. I know. I am just trying to shake this stuck state.

Imagine, you are running full force as a hard as you can but, all paths lead to the same place. As hard as I push, I am no further ahead, and more time continues to pass. So, I am a bit loss at the moment.

I've really tried to live at my edge. It feels chaotic. If all paths lead to suffering, it seems pointless, and then, there is death. UGH

[Webwanderer]

Joe, I have had enough experience in life to know there is always more than one side of most any story. I'm not doubting your account. I just know there is another perspective that would add to my understanding of the events you cite. Therefore my comments were made to possibly help you in gaining clarity in a more generic way in absence of the rest of that story. If I had information from the others involved, I might be more specific in my comments.

Offering too specific of suggestions without knowing a fuller account would likely be counter productive to you. My suggestions to better understand your true nature is, in my opinion, the best course for you to get clear and useful information. Those answers are within you as they are with anyone.

WW

[meetjoeblack]

Joe, I have had enough experience in life to know there is always more than one side of most any story. I'm not doubting your account. I just know there is another perspective that would add to my understanding of the events you cite. Therefore my comments were made to possibly help you in gaining clarity in a more generic way in absence of the rest of that story. If I had information from the others involved, I might be more specific in my comments.

Offering too specific of suggestions without knowing a fuller account would likely be counter productive to you. My suggestions to better understand your true nature is, in my opinion, the best course for you to get clear and useful information. Those answers are within you as they are with anyone.

WW

I've just seen a series of events far too many times as an employee to know, I want to be working on presence, and put forth that energy towards my own endeavors. Yes, add value back but, in doing a business of some sort. 44hours a week cut down to 6. Not even a full shift and then, fired. I only thought about this because I came across a old reference letter from a customer who sent one to my boss and hq. I've come across politics like this in work and in school. Its very frustrating so, I try to limit my time and meditate more. I know anything toxic is a obstacle to remaining present.

[painBody]

I think WW offered some excellent advice here. What he said has also been true in my own experience. Specifically two points he mentioned - 1: Politics is pretty much omnipresent; it only varies in magnitude and color. By knowing your true nature, you can overcome it (or, rather, circumvent it altogether). 2: Know your strengths and weaknesses. I will add my own two cents to these two points.

1 - Yes, I discovered the hard way that politics exists everywhere people do. If you think one boss is a "piece of shit", well, lemme tell you ... "pieces of shit" are everywhere - every job, every social circle, every school, every cafe, and every party you go to. They only vary in size and color. So, a winning strategy, then, does not have to do with where you go, but more so with what energy/level of consciousness you bring to wherever you go. The shit is going to be flung at you from all sides, everywhere you go ... guaranteed ! The only question is - how much are you going to let it affect you ?

I discovered this at a time, unfortunately for me, when I didn't yet have the level of consciousness to successfully cope with the situation. I quit my job because of it. I was very good at my job, but had to put up with some very difficult people around me (some overzealous workaholics, some huge egos, some just incompetent and lazy people stealing credit). Despite me "excelling", I was harassed and tortured, by my boss, to the point where quitting became a means of my organism's survival. So, the notion that reward is proportional to merit is ultimately a huge and cunning illusion that will cause you great suffering. "Justice", "work ethic", bla bla ... throw those useless words out of your vocabulary. I learned that the hard way.

Had I only known that it was my ego, my false self, that was reacting intensely to everything around me, I would still be at the job, only much happier. It is NOT possible to win an ego battle. It is like fighting an enemy you cannot see. In an ego battle, like in the one between you and your piece of shit boss, there are no victors. Today, he fires you, tomorrow he is back to being unhappy with someone else. Or today, you put a co-worker down, and tomorrow, he becomes your boss and welcomes you to a world of hurt. So, it is your level of consciousness that is going to bring you salvation in that battlefield ... or, rather, your consciousness (true nature) is going to show you that there is no battle to fight.

2 - Ultimately, it does not matter what you do on the level of form, because it is secondary anyway. However, if you are able to enjoy and be present with whatever you do, you will likely succeed in it. So, know what you're good at, which is basically saying - know what you enjoy doing and what you can be present with, when you're doing it. That will bring you long-term success. Don't be seduced by "what's hot in the market", because that may not match up with your strengths or what you may succeed at.

I studied Computer Science, because it was hot in the market, and fortunately for me, it turned out to be a subject I am naturally great at and so, I excelled (till office politics brought my success to a screeching halt). It is something that, to this day, I can be present with and enjoy and do well. So, when I have to continually learn to keep up with new technologies and acquire new knowledge, it is not a problem because I enjoy it. So, what is it that you enjoy doing and learning about ? What kind of job brings out the best in you (that is to say, the highest level of consciousness) ?

If you want to start your own business, great ... where there is enthusiasm, there may be a way. But, have no illusions that you won't have to deal with any unconscious people along the way, just because you're now the boss. Like I said, where people go, politics (unconsciousness) follows. If not your boss, then maybe your customers

[painBody]

One final thought about education ...

From my personal experience, it seems that the importance of having a degree/diploma really depends on the field you're in. In my own field (Software engineering), it does matter, but mostly for your first couple of jobs. After that, they don't look at education, but at experience - where have you worked, what did you do ?

When I went to school, I noticed that 90% of people around me, my peers, were totally unsure of what they wanted to do. They would wander across majors - from Engineering to Nursing to Occupational Therapy to what-have-you. And, most people I have known were employed in jobs not related to their degree. Some degrees can provide a higher monetary payoff/return than others, provided you are good at applying the knowledge acquired. Education is only as profitable as your ability to apply it.

You can certainly do your own learning on your couch, from books, the internet, or practice a trade skill in your garage. So, again, what WW said about the value of education "in the classroom" is kind of true. It really depends on your field - Is it research/academic ? Is it a trade skill ? These days, especially because of the internet, there are quite a few ways of making money. I think you have some exploring to do. This is not an easy question to answer, without knowing your specifics.

But, to summarize, let your consciousness show you the way, rather than just the imaginary dollar sum you see in your head.

[meetjoeblack]

1 - Yes, I discovered the hard way that politics exists everywhere people do. If you think one boss is a "piece of shit", well, lemme tell you ... "pieces of shit" are everywhere - every job, every social circle, every school, every cafe, and every party you go to. They only vary in size and color. So, a winning strategy, then, does not have to do with where you go, but more so with what energy/level of consciousness you bring to wherever you go. The shit is going to be flung at you from all sides, everywhere you go ... guaranteed ! The only question is - how much are you going to let it affect you ?

I know if I don't make changes, I will have this until retirement wherever I am or wherever I go.

I thought if I burned the boats, went back to school, and looked to add value, it would open more doors. It did not. Furthermore, it costed a lot of money and the market is terrible. I wanted to go back to furthermore my options but, I am a bit lost atm. I would rather do my own thing and struggle rather then be a target for the next 30yrs of my life.

I did have some sort of flash of awareness/satori like experience. I was exercising and it just came to me. Ideally, continue where I am at and acquire more skills. Learn. Maybe even switch into different depts. to acquire more skills. Meanwhile, begin a start up. I can reduce my time elsewhere as a employee and eventually go my own way. I know this will bring other problems but, I've noticed being paid hourly is foolish as it promotes laziness and its simply not effective.

I discovered this at a time, unfortunately for me, when I didn't yet have the level of consciousness to successfully cope with the situation. I quit my job because of it. I was very good at my job, but had to put up with some very difficult people around me (some overzealous workaholics, some huge egos, some just incompetent and lazy people stealing credit). Despite me "excelling", I was harassed and tortured, by my boss, to the point where quitting became a means of my organism's survival. So, the notion that reward is proportional to merit is ultimately a huge and cunning illusion that will cause you great suffering. "Justice", "work ethic", bla bla ... throw those useless words out of your vocabulary. I learned that the hard way.

Yeah. I went through that after a promotion not long ago. I worked so hard too but, I had a lot of troublemakers around me and if anything happened, I was being thrown under the bus so, I parted ways and found another job opportunity. I think I want to be part of a small venture/startup. It has to be effective, add value, and of course, make money. I want to be mobile with my venture. I don't intend to be unemployed or even quit. I want to be on casually. 99% of my time dedicated to this purpose of mine.

It feels like an abstract puzzle I am putting together. Sadly, even close friends are not that supportive or helpful. My inner circle is more so can be helpful though, more into presence and less business savy.

Had I only known that it was my ego, my false self, that was reacting intensely to everything around me, I would still be at the job, only much happier. It is NOT possible to win an ego battle. It is like fighting an enemy you cannot see. In an ego battle, like in the one between you and your piece of shit boss, there are no victors. Today, he fires you, tomorrow he is back to being unhappy with someone else. Or today, you put a co-worker down, and tomorrow, he becomes your boss and welcomes you to a world of hurt. So, it is your level of consciousness that is going to bring you salvation in that battlefield ... or, rather, your consciousness (true nature) is going to show you that there is no battle to fight.

I wish I could share real life examples but, sworn to a nondisclosure agreement so, I cannot break that bond.

All I can say is that, there was a lot of politics, a lot of crazy, and no matter how excellent my performances were, it would not be acknowledged. There was plotting behind the scenes and the fact was that, I was the youngest man around, I was into fitness whereas, people were more into numbing themselves with fatty foods, and I was in a environment that I would not thrive.

2 - Ultimately, it does not matter what you do on the level of form, because it is secondary anyway. However, if you are able to enjoy and be present with whatever you do, you will likely succeed in it. So, know what you're good at, which is basically saying - know what you enjoy doing and what you can be present with, when you're doing it. That will bring you long-term success. Don't be seduced by "what's hot in the market", because that may not match up with your strengths or what you may succeed at.

It is a nice Ecky omen to say, "it doesn't matter" but, the fact remains, if I just quit, my mom and I are evicted. I must work and then, still be present to the moment. If I work less hours at my job, I am content assuming my own startup brings home the bacon. Thanks man. I agree with you about chasing the fad.

I studied Computer Science, because it was hot in the market, and fortunately for me, it turned out to be a subject I am naturally great at and so, I excelled (till office politics brought my success to a screeching halt). It is something that, to this day, I can be present with and enjoy and do well. So, when I have to continually learn to keep up with new technologies and acquire new knowledge, it is not a problem because I enjoy it. So, what is it that you enjoy doing and learning about ? What kind of job brings out the best in you (that is to say, the highest level of consciousness) ?

Good for you man. I think there are definitely opportunities for a startup in that field, even marketing api, apps, and a variety of options. Great paying jobs are disappearing and being outsourced. Sites like upworks and a variety of others are paving the way. Comp Sci is a difficult subject for many and not exactly a easy degree to acquire. Good for you man. I think I can be in any environment and get by but, this is not allowing me to thrive.

If you want to start your own business, great ... where there is enthusiasm, there may be a way. But, have no illusions that you won't have to deal with any unconscious people along the way, just because you're now the boss. Like I said, where people go, politics (unconsciousness) follows. If not your boss, then maybe your customers

One of the more exciting feats I watched was my buddy. he is a internet marketer and consultant for new businesses. He is different. Where I have been running up the corporate ladder or was at least trying to, I realize how pointless that path is, and how destructive it is as, people see someone younger coming up, and they fear for their livelihood you will take. Going back to my buddy, he just handed out his cards, sees/spots opportunities, and seizes that. Its very ballsy but, the opportunities present itself. He brought my attention to this so, I am looking at this startup venture I have in mind. Putting together a business plan and seeing it through. In my friend's field, he handles customers, some more challenging but, if someone is beyond working with, that's a wrap. In the corporate/business world, it doesn't work like that.

[painBody]

"if I just quit, my mom and I are evicted."

Nope, I wasn't suggesting quitting ! I just meant that, whether you make your money sweeping floors or selling cars doesn't matter that much.

I wouldn't recommend quitting unless you plan to go live in the woods - something I had considered when I quit.

[meetjoeblack]

"if I just quit, my mom and I are evicted."

Nope, I wasn't suggesting quitting ! I just meant that, whether you make your money sweeping floors or selling cars doesn't matter that much.

I wouldn't recommend quitting unless you plan to go live in the woods - something I had considered when I quit.

Well, if things were different, if i walked into a life insurance after the accident, sure, this would have been my first option. Unfortunately, this wasn't the case so, I am just sort of bracing myself and looking to make a difficult situation into a good one.

Its funny that you spoke of living in the woods. There is something to this and I've always wanted to do that at some point. If and I say IF i were to ever start a family one day, I would want to do so further away in the woods and or country living. I would want to be around nature and the outdoors. I notice my being up rooted from this sort of environment really disrupts me so, I try to be with nature if it is a walk or even sitting around outside in my backyard.

[Alexa87]

You thought about the whole life of a man. Any person who thinks of his own career. The books found here to improve the career of a person.