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Re: Thinking about suicide...

PostPosted: Wed Jul 19, 2017 8:38 am
by OldThinker45
Thank you all for your comments and opinions, I value all of them. I have seen many health professionals and I have taken and stopped taking a lot of medication. There is no solution to this.

The problem is that I am having a severe existential crisis with extreme fear of death... Which makes me, in all it's paradox, want to kill myself... Go figure...

Afterlife or Not, The thing is I don't want to loose this one, here now. My kids, wife, life in general is important to me. And all of this being finite makes this all useless... How can you have any morals or sense of meaning when you are confronted with this ?

I mean, what is it all for ? If it's all meant to be forgotten anyway. Be it by death or alzeihmer or anything in between, so what's the point ?

Best

Re: Thinking about suicide...

PostPosted: Wed Jul 19, 2017 3:39 pm
by Webwanderer
OldThinker45 wrote:I mean, what is it all for ? If it's all meant to be forgotten anyway. Be it by death or alzeihmer or anything in between, so what's the point ?

Are these questions rhetorical, or are they of genuine interest? Wonderful, enlightening, answers are clearly available through an in-depth study of NDE/TDE/OBE's.

WW

Re: Thinking about suicide...

PostPosted: Wed Jul 19, 2017 5:14 pm
by OldThinker45
Webwanderer wrote:
OldThinker45 wrote:I mean, what is it all for ? If it's all meant to be forgotten anyway. Be it by death or alzeihmer or anything in between, so what's the point ?

Are these questions rhetorical, or are they of genuine interest? Wonderful, enlightening, answers are clearly available through an in-depth study of NDE/TDE/OBE's.

WW


All of this is speculation of the mind and different levels of consciousness... NDE is not dead... it's near death...

Re: Thinking about suicide...

PostPosted: Wed Jul 19, 2017 5:54 pm
by Webwanderer
OldThinker45 wrote:All of this is speculation of the mind and different levels of consciousness... NDE is not dead... it's near death...

NDE is mostly a misnomer. Raymond Moody coined this often inaccurate phrase back in the 70's and it stuck. More appropriate is TDE or Temporary Death Experience. Death is not simply a final state, but an event of crossing over. You don't have to believe any of it, but having a clear understanding of the information at least allows for informed consideration. OBE'ers like William Buhlman and Thomas Campbell are also a credible source of detailed information about the greater reality. It's a fun exploration.

WW

Re: Thinking about suicide...

PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 12:11 pm
by DavidB
OT45,

If there were no solution, I would have killed myself years ago. But like you, the fear of death gave me more anxiety than the fear of living, so I hung on to living long enough to find a solution. You might even say that extreme existential anxiety was my pathway to peace and salvation. I am grateful I went through it, but don't ask me to do it again. It took me about 15 years to figure it all out.

You love your kids, your wife, your life, and why wouldn't you, no reason not to. I might just suggest that you are a role model to your loved ones and also their teacher, so you might want to factor that into your decisions, as what you do will influence their life choices.

There is no point, reason, meaning or purpose outside of life itself. That means, whatever life is doing, is its sole reason, purpose and meaning. Looking for a reason, purpose and meaning outside of what life is doing, is a futile exercise that can only result in existential anxiety. We can literally drive ourselves insane trying to understand what consciousness is doing, as point, reason, meaning and purpose are human needs and concepts. What's the meaning of life? Whatever it happens to be doing.

It might provide you with some comfort to know, the present is eternal. That means, everything that happened, is happening, or will happen, exists always and forever. Nothing that has ever happened is ever lost. It's only from the human perspective that life appears to exist in time, or only in this present time. This isn't true, it is merely a perspective. Life is eternal and infinite, and all of life exists eternally and infinitely, which are in fact the two most fundamental aspects of reality, and the nature of God, time (eternity) and space (infinity).

Rest assured my friend, nothing is ever lost. The mistaken belief in loss is a fundamental aspect of our human nature. Human nature is the divine opportunity to consciously experience, loss, vulnerability and limitation. None of these things are a personal problem, but rather a temporary aspect of what it means to be human. Embrace your humanity, it's what life is doing and therefore our only purpose, everything else is arbitrary.

Re: Thinking about suicide...

PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 7:21 pm
by OldThinker45
DavidB wrote:OT45,
Rest assured my friend, nothing is ever lost. The mistaken belief in loss is a fundamental aspect of our human nature. Human nature is the divine opportunity to consciously experience, loss, vulnerability and limitation. None of these things are a personal problem, but rather a temporary aspect of what it means to be human. Embrace your humanity, it's what life is doing and therefore our only purpose, everything else is arbitrary.


Thank you david for these kind words. I feel that you had the same thing I am having now. I try to do all the things you said daily, and feel the present moment... But it's all exercise in my head. I don't seem to be getting the grand feeling of it.

I will keep reading and trying to fabricate some sort of reality that suits me until I'm gone.

Re: Thinking about suicide...

PostPosted: Mon Aug 07, 2017 1:41 pm
by afrodite95
I have lost control of my mind. My conscious mind is dying to a frontal dementia. I worked my brain too hard.

This allows negativity to stay and stick around. I tried so hard using my mind to become awareness my awareness I locked in my thought space and I have an inside out perspective

My "broken mind' has lead to insanity. I can no longer reason or perceive, or have conscious realisations. My broken conscious mind allows all kinds of demons to dwell and end up pretending to be me, all kinds of demons. My broken mind causes no perception.

Now I know I'm not the mind and I can laugh still and be happy around people as our soul vibration is always positive but there is a distinct separation between my soul and my broken mind

In my perception, life is a race. It is difficult to run with a broken leg ie a broken mind

As my mind has committed a mental suicide because I have forced it too much it must be said

All my character and like data has gone that would help me to understand people and situations and contextualise

I feel like the state of allowing you need your 'self' embedded in your psyche

What I am saying is, I don't think this broken mind can support my soul expression any more and I think suicide is only option. I have read about reincarnation, I know I will have to face this again But I have so much wisdom as to where I went wrong I know I will overcome it next time

Re: Thinking about suicide...

PostPosted: Mon Aug 07, 2017 11:48 pm
by Webwanderer
What you say here is only true to the extent that you believe it to be so. And while it may have a good deal of momentum, you always have the power to create new beliefs about any and all of those arising thoughts, and then to create new 'truths' that will bring you a wholly different experience. It is in your power to redefine how you perceive any element in your life. You only need to choose for it in this moment, and this, and this... until it becomes an automatic way of life.

Will there be failures and setbacks along the way? Probably. So what! That's the nature of this amazing human adventure and exploration. And it's not so much an exploration of the physical landscape as it is one of the experiential environment of consciousness. Every experience you have here is immensely valuable to your greater beingness. Pain and suffering are as valuable as peace and joy to the evolution of consciousness. Maybe best of all is the process of transformation of our pain into an understanding that brings more peace and joy.

Don't be so hard on yourself. You're worth better. We all are. Be forgiving of yourself as you would a child who does not yet fully understand how life (energy) works. It's not like they teach us this stuff in school. And of course we are all still children of God/Source?/Whatever... So seek out some teachings that feel right to you and apply them as best you can. Pay less attention to the past and arising thoughts, and more to your choices and where you want to go. Then just be patient and watch what happens as you would watch an engaging movie. It can be fun.

WW