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trapped by addiction

Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2018 10:26 pm
by ixtlander
every day after work, if I go home I am compelled to sit in front of my tv and watch pornography. It is literally killing me, I can feel my adrenal system and prostate failing due to excess of self pleasuring. I've been confused about this for a long time. It's a very old addiction, created around 18 years ago and it is very strong. I've tried not fighting it and just observing while its happening but watching any kind of screen literally drains your energy and there comes a point where I break. Do I really have to accept this and just die a slow awful death? obviously I don't understand the concept of surrender if it actually works.

Re: trapped by addiction

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2018 11:22 am
by ThatAwareness
Yes, accept this. Realize that the compulsive watching of pornography isn't happening to 'anyone', so accept that it is happening with no identity attached to it. Don't just observe, realize that even the observer isn't really 'you', there is no you. There is only a body and mind that engages in compulsive behavior, there is no you that does it, no you that is being done to it. There is no you that can even surrender to it, there is only the awareness of which surrendering happens.

The Tao Te Ching puts it nicely,

If you want to shrink something,
you must first allow it to expand.
If you want to get rid of something,
you must first allow it to flourish.

Allow the mind and body to engage in it with no resistance or self-judgmental battle, for you are not doing it, how can you control something that isn't you?

Re: trapped by addiction

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2018 3:48 pm
by Webwanderer
This is pretty much an ongoing debate among those engaged in the subject. "There is no you" is one side as described by ThatAwareness. It's like saying there is no consciousness...., yet here we are. What after all, is aware to be conscious, to perceive, to consider choices? Why is all of life's discussions so full of pronouns? They're unavoidable in any discussion on the nature of being. Why is that? Once all the imaginary layers born of thinking are pulled back, a clear sense of you remains. This body, this mind, is a sensing mechanism designed for specific purpose by that which engenders it with a quality of its own consciousness.

I'll offer another look. 'You are not what you think you are.' That includes thinking there is no you. You are not the identification born of thought, and you are not the belief in no-self as that is just another form of identification. Both live in belief structures about a true self-nature that is human beyond description. The Tao Te Ching quote is irrelevant to that debate. It is good however, in terms of dealing with problems that challenge us.

Resistance to any addiction or lingering problem only serves to focus energy upon it. A better path to solution is to remove the energy of resistance and find a replacement in which to engage your energy. Look to your past for what attracted your interest before. What is available now that would expand on matters of interest already inherent in your experience? Plan and schedule engaging activities for the same time frames in which you now watch porn. Don't make a big deal out of it, just make a choice that works for your goals.

It's most likely that an effective alternative focus will involve other people. Being engaged with others will be of great help in realigning your focus. There are endless activities in which to engage. What is fun to you? Most of all, be patient and cut your'self' some slack. You are doing nothing wrong. It's simply that your emotional guidance system is telling you that your life experience is out of balance with your own greater good. It happens. We all go through it in some form or another. It's in the design of this human experience to explore this and all manner of challenging life experience.


Re: trapped by addiction

Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2018 8:21 pm
by ixtlander
thank you both

Re: trapped by addiction

Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2018 5:37 pm
by Newman
Hi there are a lot of sites on the net dealing with pornography addiction and you can even install some software on your computer to help reduce accidentally viewing adult related material.

I know that although I'm not addicted to it when I went on my own pornography diet about a year ago I found it very intriguing how it changed how I view other women around me! Suddenly after three to four weeks women who I normally wouldn't have considered attractive suddenly became so. It is a highly sexualised society we live in though, I mean you can be watching a tv show you'd think have no nudity in it and before you know it full frontal nudity is in your face!