Dealing with controlling people situation

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Mary-Agnes
Posts: 3
Joined: Sat Apr 07, 2018 11:51 am

Dealing with controlling people situation

Post by Mary-Agnes » Sat Apr 07, 2018 11:59 am

Hello this is the first time I’ve posted, I’m very happy to read the advice and comments daily it’s inspiring. I’m in turmoil, i’d found presence in my life and was starting to live life differently and see situations in a different light, recognizing the ego in myself and others, seeing myself and others telling themselves their story and falling back into my thoughts.
I’d found my techniques for nipping those thoughts in the bud as soon as they started and avoiding unmeasurable amounts of stress, I was managing situations in a zen way, it was life changing.
I’ve recently put myself back into a situation that id managed to get out of (why do we do that ?) my life is complicated but id found peace and it’s true acceptance is the key to being able to cope.
But
I don’t seem to be able to accept these people (my boyfriends parents) they are toxic, angry, controlling people and I’ve gone back to work for them, l want to help him run the family business when they retire. They control my boyfriends every waking moment, they control his finances everything, they’ve kept him on a minimum pay for years so he doesn’t have a penny to his name.
He has adhd, I’ve also introduced him to the power of now and his life too has changed, he never had silence in his mind it was like 10 radios playing all at once, well he’s found peace listening to ET. He’s taking his life in hand but his parents don’t believe he can manage his own life. He’s the one that’s made their business work and they’ve taken all the rewards and kept him small. It breaks my heart because he’s the nicest guy you could ever meet. He let them spread fear in him and not let him believe he could have a normal life. Telling him his story every time he steps out of their control. I would like advice on handling these people.
Thank you in advance. 🙏🏼
Last edited by Mary-Agnes on Sat Apr 07, 2018 5:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Newman
Posts: 32
Joined: Mon Apr 02, 2018 1:07 pm

Re: Dealing with controlling people situation

Post by Newman » Sat Apr 07, 2018 4:09 pm

I had an abusive manager and I wrote a well thought out letter to her and although she didn't acknowledge the letter she certainly changed her ways a little. The good thing about a letter is you can revise it several times before sending and the receiver has time to read and get the message before giving any irrational response.

Could look at alternative employment or set up competition if he knows what he's doing?

Mary-Agnes
Posts: 3
Joined: Sat Apr 07, 2018 11:51 am

Re: Dealing with controlling people situation

Post by Mary-Agnes » Sat Apr 07, 2018 4:53 pm

Thanks for your suggestion, it is worth thinking about. We have thought about setting something up of our own but he’s give 14 years of his life to their business and feels he deserves it. He also feels a kind of debt to them. Kind regards

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MissNikki
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Location: BC, Canada

Re: Dealing with controlling people situation

Post by MissNikki » Mon Apr 09, 2018 12:42 am

Hi Mary-Agnes and welcome. I am new here too. I am sorry to hear about the parents of your partner trying to control him. Sometimes the only way to escape a situation like that is to do exactly that - escape. Just leave the situation and start over. I know it is easier said than done. Wishing you the best.
Posted by MissNikki.

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turiya
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Location: CA

Re: Dealing with controlling people situation

Post by turiya » Tue Apr 10, 2018 1:41 am

Mary-Agnes wrote:
Sat Apr 07, 2018 11:59 am
He has adhd, I’ve also introduced him to the power of now and his life too has changed, he never had silence in his mind it was like 10 radios playing all at once, well he’s found peace listening to ET.
Yay! :D
Mary-Agnes wrote:
Sat Apr 07, 2018 11:59 am
He’s taking his life in hand but his parents don’t believe he can manage his own life... He let them spread fear in him and not let him believe he could have a normal life. Telling him his story every time he steps out of their control.
It doesn't matter what others believe about someone. It only matters what someone believes about himself.

As long as we believe that we are our stories/conditioning, we forfeit our power and we can never be truly free.

Practice Presence.

Only in Presence is true Freedom and Power found.

From Presence (as Presence), watch what happens to "you" and "your" life situation.

(Very simple... but not very easy! :wink: )
“We ourselves are not an illusory part of Reality; rather are we Reality itself illusorily conceived.” - Wei Wu Wei

Mary-Agnes
Posts: 3
Joined: Sat Apr 07, 2018 11:51 am

Re: Dealing with controlling people situation

Post by Mary-Agnes » Wed Apr 11, 2018 7:51 pm

Thank you Missnikki for your very positive and helpful reply, yeah it is easier said than done😔I try to protect myself as much as possible, I can not be manipulated luckily. His ex girlfriend was his mother’s general dogs body for 12 years.
I try to be present and live in the now and not let these unconscious people have too much of an effect on our lives, it’s extremely difficult at times, but my boyfriend is becoming more independent so that’s positive.
ET says to avoid living in the view of a means to an end but in this situation we have to, we both love our jobs and love working together, that’s what keeps our relationship going. Our goal is to take over the business and have them retire, but every other day they say they’re selling up and moving away, It’s in their own best interest to let us continue but they know that they won’t have the same hold or brain washing ability on their son. We will follow your advice. Thanks again kind regards. Mary-Agnes

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