Relationship cravings

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Joined: Tue May 15, 2018 10:37 am

Relationship cravings

Post by Innerlight999 » Tue May 15, 2018 10:57 am

Hi all
I wonder if anyone coulda help me with something . I have been inspired by and read the power of now and a new earth along with an you other spiritual guidance books but Eckhart Tolle always speaks to me .
So my last long term relationship (been in 3 all 4 years ) was finished by my girlfriend 3 years ago now, I had to look a thing myself long and hard and so left my music teaching job , went travelling and then lived in between my home town village , (a converted barn next to my mum ) and 7 months travelling , whilst working occasionally on a yoga retreat in Crete.
Now I am back living on my own once bye barn having to earn money and I am private music teaching .
The reason for this background is i be been really struggling inside over the last few months feeling very lonely and almost anxious about the fact I don't have a relationship and find myself craving it . Partly it is due to everybody around me having kids and seemingly getting on with heir lives , but thanks to Eckhart tolles Books i thought I would look upon that as how it is. Not being sucked into the conditioning of everyone in the surrounding area , but I definitely have been. Now I am waking up anxious and offences unable to function well I need my daily life. I realise if I got back to my meditation and appreciating the now, then I am more likely to flourish around here, but on My own I am finding I it very hard and am loving for someone ( close relationship) to share my life with.
Conversely I realise that craving is no way tic start a relationship. I have learned from yep past . But i and close to someone here , and we are like minded that we can talk about Eckhart tolles teachings and our inner selves , which I can't with most people , and I really feel a Bündchen with her.
My problem is , sometimes ich i yhink we get together together, but I sometimes think that is the craving a relationship side of me. We both have lost of inner , emotional thoughts which we share and I know life is hard for her , but in some ways I can drawn to that becuase we are so similar. However again, I want to rid myself of this feeling of longing for her when I know I am not absolutely sure that is shat will be good for her or me .
I suppose it is a lonely thing , but despite re reading new earth recently , I really want to just ask Eckhart what he thinks of my situation . So if anyone has any suggestions or ideas , I would be ist grateful .
By the way it's typical but despite my knowledge on inner happiness , i struggle to be disciplined to take action. Instead can I often hide swatch and distract myself with music or YouTube documentaries .
Thank you so much everybody and hope you can help

Inner light

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Joined: Sat May 19, 2018 12:47 am

Re: Relationship cravings

Post by jlotty » Sun May 20, 2018 3:21 pm

Hi there!

If the ego has derived its sense of purpose from a situation in the past, then it will try to do so again. This is because the ego is comfortable with the familiar. The 'unfamiliar' causes it great fear! It wants to survive, so it won't be happy in a world it doesn't yet know. It will then project istelf into the future & thus create anxious thoughts & emotions.
The ego wants the familiarity of a relationship. You may notice it living in some future mental image from time to time, or find it saying fulfilment is there. But fulfilment is here. Here in the now.
You may feel lonely on the surface, but under the surface is a deep ocean that is not destroyed by its own waves. Start to sense when these cravings appear, then sense that you are still here regardless & you'll soon see that you are not dependent on any external relationship in this world. If it happens, it happens, if it doesn't, it doesn't.
At the end of it all, just know in the realm of form, it is human to have cravings & that romance can be a drug and like all drugs includes its highs & lows.
Be aware though of the non high, nor low, neither dependent or needed, of the still realm underneath all this, then loneliness will be just another thought to be observed.

Kind regards,


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Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2018 12:58 am

Re: Relationship cravings

Post by ThatAwareness » Sun Jun 17, 2018 4:22 pm

Why not sit with the loneliness? Enjoy its company intimately, for emotions only want to be heard.

This body/mind feels loneliness often, but it feels so good to just let it be, with no need to run or do. One of my favorite activities is to just lay in bed feel absolute solitary loneliness, it's such a beautiful experience. I hope you enjoy it too.

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