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What can I do with my aversion to responsibility?

Posted: Wed Oct 17, 2018 4:35 pm
by jtightlips21
Basically, I feel like responsibility is really a necessary evil. But I feel like I am supposed to think responsibility is so great. Then I noticed that much of the stuff I take offense to, primarily concepts of maturity, overbearing people, unwanted advice or busybodies is that it taunts this contradiction within.

So I understand that individuals need to be responsible for themselves, as people have some destructive passions. I also understand the need for collective responsibility like certain authorities as people can be destructive towards others, or in economics there needs to be responsibility as one person cannot provide all of their own needs. Plus, people are social animals, and relationships need some form of accountability. SO i DO understand the need for responsibility.

But I find for the most part, responsibility is the foundation for the need to blame someone if something goes wrong, doing things you hate while avoiding things you enjoy, sacrificing the freedom to find fulfillment for the sake of security and safety, and being subject to anothers control. Meanwhile, I find that people can be overbearing, controlling, intrusive or make other peoples business their business all in the name of responsibilty.

So I really dont know if the responsibility that I see as a necessary evil is just the egoic concept of responsibility.

Re: What can I do with my aversion to responsibility?

Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2018 10:07 pm
by jtightlips21
I have found in myself that much of my aversion to responsibility is that I dont like is the idea that responsibility is more important than freedom. In some respects, I have found that people are willing to sacrifice their own freedom for responsibility, intrude on others freedom for the sake of responsibility(aka busybodies) or treat freedom as only a means to responsibility. Now in cases where freedom and responsibility coexist peaceably, I'm all for that. Then I notice I am too quick to take offense to busybodies, or someone expressing views of the contrary.

Re: What can I do with my aversion to responsibility?

Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 6:09 pm
by rachMiel
You might find this short passage from a Krishnamurti dialogue interesting/useful:

Questioner: You have said that, were you in a position of responsibility to others, you would fulfill that duty, but that you would not undertake further responsibilities. Why not? Why avoid action and work in this world of objectivity? Does the full realization of truth place man's interest outside the work-a-day world? Is not his search a continuous inward process, independent of and permeating his daily action and responsibility?

Krishnamurti: Surely, I agree with the questioner; but I am going to try explain something which will be misunderstood, so please try and follow it.

Responsibility is selfishness. You are responsible to yours, are you not? You have duty to yours. You say, "I must consider my child, my wife, my possessions, and therefore I am responsible." Whereas, I am talking of freedom in which there is no distinction of "yours" and "mine" and therefore neither responsibility nor its opposite. The more you set yourself up as being responsible for the welfare of man and society, for the furthering of a system, the more self-centered, narrow, bigoted you become. But if the mind is not limited by craving, if it is not hindered by the idea of "yours" and "mine", then you are free and you know true responsibility, which is not an escape from action.

You become dutiful, falsely responsible, when there is the idea of yours. You are not responsible to me, are you? But if I am your particular friend, your companion, your husband, wife, child, you become responsible. That is, you want to control, to guide, to help, to protect me. So, what you call responsibility is but a very subtle form of possession, craving; whereas, I am talking of the freedom from all craving. True action is only possible when the mind is wholly free from self-consciousness, from craving. This is true spontaneity, to be utterly free; then your action has no motive. If you understand this, if you live for a few days with awareness, you will know what true action is. You will see that if you are free of responsibility you are consideration itself; you yield to the inevitable, and in that yielding is the ecstasy of life.