Worrying About The Future

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Worrying About The Future

Postby michal » Thu May 05, 2005 9:20 pm

I have a job interview on Sunday, and I'm really nervous about it. I keep thinking about how it might be, and especially how I will fail at it.

"You're not good enough."
"You will be too nervous to answer anything coherently."
"They'll hate you."
"You will fail, FAIL I say!"

Those are about the repetitive thoughts that are going through my head.

I have this tendency to be nervous about something new, because I don't know what to expect and I have no experience/tools at how to handle it. I get all insecure and pessimistic, and my stomach is doing flip-flops, making me physically miserable.

I noticed, in the past couple of days that I've been nervous, that at times I'd get this aggressive boost of confidence that basically shoos my worries away, or does a pretty good job at keeping them at bay. But it doesn't last long, and, obviously, when I get caught up in my thoughts it only gets worse.

My pain-body is partying, and I'm a little at a loss.

What should I do? :?
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Re: Worrying About The Future

Postby Sandy » Fri May 06, 2005 5:12 am

michal wrote:I have a job interview on Sunday, and I'm really nervous about it. I keep thinking about how it might be, and especially how I will fail at it.

I noticed, in the past couple of days that I've been nervous, that at times I'd get this aggressive boost of confidence that basically shoos my worries away, or does a pretty good job at keeping them at bay. But it doesn't last long, and, obviously, when I get caught up in my thoughts it only gets worse.

What should I do? :?


Hello Michal, I seem to have a talent for losing my messages here right before I need to go to sleep, so this will be shorter than I intended. I used to have depression and anxiety as an illness and was unable to work at all for a while. One thing I found out in rehab when I was sent to employment workshops with "normal" people is that most of them were just as nervous as I was about interviews. Just stay in the moment, every time the worry thoughts and feelings take over, return to focus on the immediate moment. Try to avoid either the pessimistic mode or the over-confident mode! Balance in the present only.

Here is an internet resource that may help you get prepared ahead of time. Then when the interview happens, a what will be will be attitude, with focus on the Now, may be the best approach.

http://interview.monster.com/

Sandy
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Postby summer » Fri May 06, 2005 6:51 pm

Hi Michal,
I think we can all relate to the worry and anxiety that you are experiening. It is very frustrating and painful.
What stikes me about your post is the accuracy with which you are observing how the mind operates The part of you that is aware is outside of the mind. And as much as you can be aware of this part of you, the less of your energy goes into feeding the mind. And slowly the thinking mind loses it ability to drag you away from the present moment. Where confidence and peace can be experienced.

There is a buddhist quote "your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts"
I often feel like I am training a wild horse :)
And it seems to take a lot of patience.

Good luck with your interview, and I hope that you get the job that you want.
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Postby michal » Mon May 09, 2005 1:23 pm

The interview went, and it went okay. There were three phases - last of which was the personal interview. Since I learned about the interview, I've been fearing one particular question that would come up, that I had no answer to whenever I thought about it. To my horror, that was the main question in the personal interview on the start. :D

I must say that I may have broke most of the 'What You Should Not Do/Say In An Interview' rules, but in a way it's okay. It's like I faced the worst case scenario; now I know how it is, and I've survived it.

Despite the not-so-goodness of the personal interview, the whole experience was so not how I imagined it to be. So I learned, yet again perhaps, that reality rarely - if ever - resides in imagination.

Before the interview I did my best to be as less nervous as I could manage, by distraction, shifting my thoughts, and I've managed to maintain a sort of optimistic state even when I felt nervous. So it was okay, and I'm kinda proud of myself that I didn't run away, and actually went there and faced my fear.

All in all, it was a cool adventure.

Thanks for the support. :)
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