Single mother awakening

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Spirala
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Location: Poland

Single mother awakening

Post by Spirala » Wed Jan 02, 2019 10:58 pm

Hi :)
It's my first post here. I feel very grateful there's a place like this! (forgive my English, I'm a Polish soul;)

I'm a single mom after my husband passed away 3 yeas ago. I'm taking care of my little daughters (5 and 7).
I've awakened about 2 months ago.
Dealing with emotions, thoughts, people is not easy, but I'm able to let go, accept and be present in most of the cases. I feel free and light finally (after being suicidal most of my life). All of this is tough but fine and acceptable.

My only concern is the matter of supporting my kids financially.
I have a "good" job, salary, etc. as an "IT manager". But the only feeling I have towards my job is enormous nonsense and stupidness. I have no motivation anymore. I started to have an aversion to new technologies and corporate systems...(even before my awakening). I would immediately qiut my job if I was by myself.
I try to accept it, I go there every day, but even when I accept, I'm not able to develop my skills there anymore.

I want my kids to have a "normal" life with school, home, food, some toys, friends but to do that I need to continue working there. I have no support from my family or friends. I don't have any other alternatives, ideas I could do at this point. Of course I could even work in grocery store as it make more sense for me, but in my country, with this salary I would loose my small appartment and have money only for food and basics... I know my kids would feel misrable, as they compare to others still.

Maybe you could give me some pointers, anything....
Could you please advise ?

Dcdc
Posts: 77
Joined: Tue Nov 13, 2018 3:01 pm

Re: Single mother awakening

Post by Dcdc » Thu Jan 03, 2019 4:26 pm

Spirala wrote:
Wed Jan 02, 2019 10:58 pm
Hi :)
It's my first post here. I feel very grateful there's a place like this! (forgive my English, I'm a Polish soul;)

I'm a single mom after my husband passed away 3 yeas ago. I'm taking care of my little daughters (5 and 7).
I've awakened about 2 months ago.
Dealing with emotions, thoughts, people is not easy, but I'm able to let go, accept and be present in most of the cases. I feel free and light finally (after being suicidal most of my life). All of this is tough but fine and acceptable.

My only concern is the matter of supporting my kids financially.
I have a "good" job, salary, etc. as an "IT manager". But the only feeling I have towards my job is enormous nonsense and stupidness. I have no motivation anymore. I started to have an aversion to new technologies and corporate systems...(even before my awakening). I would immediately qiut my job if I was by myself.
I try to accept it, I go there every day, but even when I accept, I'm not able to develop my skills there anymore.

I want my kids to have a "normal" life with school, home, food, some toys, friends but to do that I need to continue working there. I have no support from my family or friends. I don't have any other alternatives, ideas I could do at this point. Of course I could even work in grocery store as it make more sense for me, but in my country, with this salary I would loose my small appartment and have money only for food and basics... I know my kids would feel misrable, as they compare to others still.

Maybe you could give me some pointers, anything....
Could you please advise ?
Hello, my friend. I'm sorry for my english either, hehehehehe.

I guess it's my lucky day, because this was the third time in a row that I feel very happy to read something today in this forum. It is very good that you are present that most you can. Enjoy : -)

About your question:

You know that our society was created by egos, and, because of that, this subject (financial plans, career, etc) is a society's subject.

Don't get me wrong, of course this is a very important question, and you did good about asking this. I said that because you are asking something technical and practical to people that don't necessary will give the best answers, because maybe you would have better ones from a financial professional, for example. Nothing to worry about, but be careful, hehehehe.

Well, my answer to you is:

You do not have other choice but to put everything in balance. For one side, you said you are present in your work, but you can't deny that being present is showing you don't want to be there and do what you do there. So, if this what you feel when you are present in the majority of present moments in your work, definitively that is a point you have to consider.

For another side, our society is hard and having a job that guarantees a salary that allows you to live with a minimum of comfort isn't easy to get in a lot of countries. Again, you definitively have to consider this as well.

For another side (there is my form, so I chose to have 3 sides, hehehehehe), as you are present, you know we can't live in a fake and mental world of projections. Live revels itself at one moment at time, and as you know that, that is another point you have to consider.

So, what can you do?

Well, it's similiar to my case. I live in Brazil, and I have a very privileged and hard-to-get work in public administration. It's a very technical work, with a great salary and I can't be fired. Although I'm very privileged since I was born, because I could study in the best schools, I work and studied a lot to get this.

But I wish I could live in a beach one day, and my work doesn't allow this, because I have to stay in a city that doesn't have ocean. So, if I want to do this someday, I'll have to quit my job. But the simple jobs opportunities aren't good here either.

So, what I do is: (i) as I know our world is hard, I don't quit my job yet; (ii) I go to my job everyday and do my best to be present the most I can, one moment of perception at time; (iii) in the meantime, I do other projects that someday can (maybe, who knows?) give me the opportunity to work from anywhere, including beaches.

Well, that's how I (or my ego, hehehehe) thinks about it: we can balance. But life revels itself at every moment, right? So, who knows? I maybe will change my opinion tomorrow, hehehehe.

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Webwanderer
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Re: Single mother awakening

Post by Webwanderer » Fri Jan 04, 2019 12:39 am

Spirala wrote:
Wed Jan 02, 2019 10:58 pm
Maybe you could give me some pointers, anything....
Could you please advise ?
One of the greatest assets in life is to cultivate a sense, a genuine feel, of appreciation. Gratitude of course is beautiful, but it's different that appreciation. Gratitude is a response to something given. Appreciation requires nothing given, but is a giving of itself. It's probably the closest we humans can get to unconditional love.

I make this point because life is filled with opportunities to feel and express appreciation. Look at your children. Do you not just love them, but also appreciate them? Take a moment to sit with them in conscious appreciation just to get deeply clear on the feeling. It's wonderful. Consider then, a beautiful sunrise, flowers in bloom, a gentle breeze. All are easy opportunities for appreciation, and we the appreciator are the primary benefactor. That feeling of appreciation is special indeed.

What else can be appreciated? The list is endless. Some things we often take for granted and are worthy of consideration. A pay check that supports our family and our lifestyle. Co-workers that cooperate and share our interests accomplishing stated goals. Conditions that challenge us and sharpen our intellects. The comfort of the chair we sit in. The point is, the more you can find to appreciate in your workplace, especially the little things, the more enjoyable the experience becomes. And you get to decide how you view all the conditions in your life. A sense of appreciation whenever and wherever possible is an option worth cultivating.

In some cases, like nature and family, appreciation is easy and comes quite natural. In others, it may take a decided context through which to view things. But appreciation is always an option if you choose it. Happy, appreciative, people tend to draw more enjoyable circumstances to them. People around them tend to bring a sense of acceptance and appreciation in return. Not always of course. But often enough to be noticed by one who openly gives their best without the need for return.

Filling your life with appreciation also tends to crowd out the thoughts that bring us down. When done as a consistent and important element of life, life grows joy in abundance. Certainly there will always be ups and downs, but that is far superior to just downs.

Welcome to the forum.

WW

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Spirala
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Location: Poland

Re: Single mother awakening

Post by Spirala » Fri Jan 04, 2019 10:26 am

Thank you a lot for your reply. Every sentence is really meaningful!

The one that I love the most is:
For another side (there is my form, so I chose to have 3 sides, hehehehehe), as you are present, you know we can't live in a fake and mental world of projections. Live revels itself at one moment at time, and as you know that, that is another point you have to consider.
I guess I'm still doing this projections especially at work:) need to put more attention to that and concentrate on the present moment...

I also like your practical advices for my EGO ;)
(i) as I know our world is hard, I don't quit my job yet; (ii) I go to my job everyday and do my best to be present the most I can, one moment of perception at time; (iii) in the meantime, I do other projects that someday can (maybe, who knows?) give me the opportunity to work from anywhere, including beaches.
Thank you so much once again. It realy cleared a picture!

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Spirala
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Joined: Fri Dec 28, 2018 10:39 pm
Location: Poland

Re: Single mother awakening

Post by Spirala » Fri Jan 04, 2019 10:38 am

It's increadible being here. Thank you for warm welcome.
Your words really mean a lot to me. It seems I may not be present at all at my work, as I thought. There are realy so much things I can appreciate there, but the only thing I see is "me" being traped in this hudge corporate system.
I should print out the below quote and read it before work everyday as a reminder:)
What else can be appreciated? The list is endless. Some things we often take for granted and are worthy of consideration. A pay check that supports our family and our lifestyle. Co-workers that cooperate and share our interests accomplishing stated goals. Conditions that challenge us and sharpen our intellects. The comfort of the chair we sit in. The point is, the more you can find to appreciate in your workplace, especially the little things, the more enjoyable the experience becomes. And you get to decide how you view all the conditions in your life. A sense of appreciation whenever and wherever possible is an option worth cultivating.

From now on I'll try to concentrate on small pieces everyday.
Thank you once again and have a wonderful day!

Dcdc
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Joined: Tue Nov 13, 2018 3:01 pm

Re: Single mother awakening

Post by Dcdc » Fri Jan 04, 2019 4:19 pm

Spirala wrote:
Fri Jan 04, 2019 10:26 am
Thank you a lot for your reply. Every sentence is really meaningful!

The one that I love the most is:
For another side (there is my form, so I chose to have 3 sides, hehehehehe), as you are present, you know we can't live in a fake and mental world of projections. Live revels itself at one moment at time, and as you know that, that is another point you have to consider.
I guess I'm still doing this projections especially at work:) need to put more attention to that and concentrate on the present moment...

I also like your practical advices for my EGO ;)
(i) as I know our world is hard, I don't quit my job yet; (ii) I go to my job everyday and do my best to be present the most I can, one moment of perception at time; (iii) in the meantime, I do other projects that someday can (maybe, who knows?) give me the opportunity to work from anywhere, including beaches.
Thank you so much once again. It realy cleared a picture!
You're welcome!

I'm sure you'll manage all this very well. Just do your best to be present one moment of perception at time, and allow life revels itself to you, so you can choose your next actions accordingly.

If you are present at your work and you still feel that place and these activities aren't for you, you can invest some time in parallel projects that can some day give to you an opportunity to quit your job. Oh, and you can use the "hardness" of your work as a training to be even more and more present as well. Follow your breathing, stay in the present moment and just be. :- )

Good lucky, and welcome!

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