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Still having a lot of trouble with obsessive thoughts

Posted: Wed Feb 26, 2020 3:43 am
by Placebo
Hey guys.

So I've been practicing awareness for a couple of years. I've always been very obsessive in general and have been diagnosed with ocd. I also got into a habit as a kid to push away all painful thoughts and emotions as hard as I could due to previous trauma.

I still get stuck pushing away thoughts and sensations yet I'm not intentionally trying to do so. It seems to just be automatic a lot of the time. For example.. I'll get an image in my mind that I find incredibly gross and disgusting and instantly, my body will tense up and other symptoms come. It almost feels like getting shocked.

The physical sensations are very strong and distressing. My brain obviously gets alarmed at the reaction so it throws the thought right back at me and the tension builds and builds to the point where I sometimes wish for death (not trying to be dramatic) I haven't been able to function because of this.

I don't know how to stop reacting and tensing up to these thoughts. I don't care about the thoughts themselves so much as I do the physical reactions to them. Trying to not tense up to them seems to just make me tense up more. I have no idea what to do.

Please help. Thanks everyone

Edit: another example would be that sometimes I can't focus on breathing without trying to control it. This whole trying to control thing seems to be automatic to me.

Re: Still having a lot of trouble with obsessive thoughts

Posted: Thu Feb 27, 2020 7:53 am
by Webwanderer
Placebo wrote:
Wed Feb 26, 2020 3:43 am
I don't know how to stop reacting and tensing up to these thoughts. I don't care about the thoughts themselves so much as I do the physical reactions to them. Trying to not tense up to them seems to just make me tense up more. I have no idea what to do.

Please help. Thanks everyone

I suggest you take up a study of Dream Yoga. A good place to start is Andrew Holecek.

WW

Re: Still having a lot of trouble with obsessive thoughts

Posted: Sun May 17, 2020 10:43 pm
by form
From the sounds of things, it appears that you have difficulty accepting other's emotional responses.
If this is correct, you need to first identify why you are having difficulty accepting others emotional response. From observing my surroundings, this is typically due to feelings of superiority however, in your case it may be different. You need to identify the issue in yourself first before you can begin to accept.
This is normally a very long process if done correctly and may take many months, if not years to correct, however everyone is unique and the time taken well be dependant upon one's emotional intelligence and the amount of work done. As a result, I would personally recommend therapy for someone like you specially if your thoughts are as dark as you claim.

Remember to act based on what you feel is right and try to leave your ego behind when making life decisions.