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Postby Katiebug » Mon Nov 21, 2005 5:07 am

Upon completion of reading The Power of Now, I feel like I have something to practice, yet dont have "the time" so to speak. My mind is so cluttered with worries. I just want to go to a beach and be alone, just to escape, I guess the Now, which I dont particularly care for, to reconstruct the Now into something that I like. To change. I know this kind of goes against Tolle's teachings. Did anyone else feel like this?
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Postby kiki » Mon Nov 21, 2005 6:46 pm

Hi Katiebug, and welcome.

I don't think what you are experiencing is unique, but in fact is an egoic strategy for avoiding the present moment, the only moment there is. When the possibility for awakening arises the ego comes up with many subtle strategies to avoid it, because it believes that if one awakens that will be the end of "me". The ego's job is to see that it stays in business one way or another. What it won't believe is that there will still be a place for it even after awakening. There will, but it will no longer be the controlling entity running your life.

There is an idea in your head that 'now' needs to be escaped from or needs to be reconstructed. These are thoughts only, which are taken seriously, thoughts which your identity structure (ego) has invested with value. That's what egos do - they want to escape, they want to reconstruct, because they cannot maintain their identity structure otherwise. Subsequently, thoughts get labeled as 'worries' which then further control how life is experienced. As Sailor Bob says, "What's wrong with right now, unless you think about it?" It is because of the identification with the thinking as "mine" that thoughts become troublesome for "me".

Is this "me" real or only imagined? Investigate for yourself. When you look for "me" can you find anything substantial beyond thought itself? Notice how thoughts of me change - can "you" be something that changes? Is there anything that can be 'seen' that doesn't change? Aren't all thoughts appearing in something that never changes? Be observant and notice the awareness which underlies thought. Sometimes thoughts vanish altogether, and yet there is still "knowingness" remaining - the "idea of me" is gone, but something vital and alive is still here. There is a "knowing" that you exist which is not dependent upon thinking - you don't have to continually think "I exist, I am" in order to be. That "knowing" is what you really are, and that "knowing" is free from any sort of limitation that the mind or ego would impose.

Now, which is more "real", the thoughts which come and go or the aliveness and sense of existence which is always here? That's what you really are, that sense of aliveness, that sense of presence, that sense of knowing awareness. Once you know yourself as this, then there is no avoiding of what happens 'out there'. Then when thoughts come, they are seen for what they are, a temporary wave of energy arising within You as awareness. They will continue to come and go, but because they are no longer claimed as "mine" they fade away again without leaving an emotional impact like they did previously. You then taste the freedom that You've always had, and know yourself AS freedom.

Don't think of having to "practice" anything to be here now. You are ALWAYS here now because now is your very nature. What is believed in by the ego are the fruits of the "practices" of the ego. When you recognize the beliefs as they arise there comes a spontaneous dropping of the belief/practice and a falling back into your true nature. Rest in/as the natural state of awareness and all is well.
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Postby summer » Mon Nov 21, 2005 7:21 pm

Great answer, kiki,

Then when thoughts come, they are seen for what they are, a temporary wave of energy arising within You as awareness. They will continue to come and go, but because they are no longer claimed as "mine" they fade away again without leaving an emotional impact like they did previously.


This really struck a chord for me today. The "emotional impact" that you mention is where it is so easy to get caught up. It has a stickiness to it that feels like quicksand when we identify with it. And yet, from another perspective it looks very small. Just a whiff of smoke in an evening sky that reaches throughout a galaxy of stars into eternity.
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Postby Egoicmidget » Tue Nov 22, 2005 1:51 am

My suggestion is read what Tolle has to say about the watcher, this will
illuminate your path.
Pgs. 17-25 or so might be worth re-reading.
Peace be with you.


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Postby Katiebug » Wed Nov 23, 2005 1:11 am

Thank you all for your replies. Kiki, you have a great way of explaining things very clearly. Everyone is so nice here!

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