What role does shedding tears have in the Now?

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What role does shedding tears have in the Now?

Post by Goldenflutist » Thu Jul 19, 2007 9:10 am

I was wondering what place shedding tears has in a conscious person?

Ever since reading ANE and trying to accept what is, I was wondering, would there ever be a time when tears would have a benefit, or would it always have something to do with an experience with the pain body, or allowing the pain to be as it is and allowing yourself to experience it, tears and all?

I have often wondered why crying helps release emotional pain. We often cry when we experience deep loss which some feel is an egoic reaction.

I know for me personally, I have an incredible hypersensitivity to cruelty to animals. If I see it on television or elsewhere, it causes unimaginable pain, and tears are soon to follow. I have had this hypersensitivity as long as I can remember and do not understand why it is so strong in me. :cry:

What is the purpose of empathetic tears, when it has nothing to do with you on a personal level, such as crying during a movie etc? Can crying be a part of presence?
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Post by suraj » Thu Jul 19, 2007 1:52 pm

I don't know the answer to your question . But whenever , there is deep pain , I simply cry and it feels so much better after that. And this tendency has increased after I read ET . Though with understanding , such situations are fewer and fewer.
And I follow ET in such times. 'Don't dwell on the person or the event which has caused it. Cry if you must' . Not blaming anything or any person has caused so much less pain.
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Is it possible that all tears can ONLY come from joy ?

Post by weichen » Fri Jul 27, 2007 2:22 am

Q: What role does shedding tears have in the Now ?
A: Great question! Tears may be sign that a person has just experienced at least a split of a second purest NOW, a state of least subconscious thinking.


IMO, 100% time (including sleeping), there are many (probably zillions) of subconscious thinking threads going on inside a person's mind. Most thinking threads come and go, but some thinking threads (core of ego) run in the background all the time. They withhold a huge amount of life energy through this non-stop running. They are like tough grease on my stove and is damn hard to remove.

Extreme pain (regardless whether it comes from a stabing wound in the leg, or watching someone stab an animal) is an extremely potent detergent (to remove the grease on the stove). It forces a very high percentage of the zillions of subconscious thinking threads to terminate. And suddenly the body is bathed in an extremely abundant life energy (for a split of a second). Some physiological functions (such as healing, tear gland secretion) got activated.

Ultimately, there may not be a distinction between tears of joy vs tears of pain. All tears come from one source: no thinking.

If thoughts do not return to the mind, crying may carry on for more than a split of a second. This long time bathing in high life energy may be needed if that person was in huge stress for a long time (to replenish energy to the energy-depleted body).

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Post by heidi » Fri Jul 27, 2007 3:46 am

I shed tears a lot - in joy, in empathy, in love, in this place of Being part of all the stuff of being human. I don't ask why, I just cry. I am not embarrassed or worried that crying is not right. It's the thing to do when it wells up and flows through me because it happens. It is a present place for me, and I am connected with whatever it is, this stream of being.
Hard to explain. Tears are good and cleansing. Tears are in the stream of the waters of being.
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Post by Seancho » Sat Aug 04, 2007 10:38 pm

For me, crying feels like an enormous release of pent up energy. A deep letting go.

The ego holds on, wont let go of anything. The ego is afraid. Thats why deep sobbing can feel frightening, and is considered shameful. Crying makes people uncomfortable. We are taught not to cry...especially men.

But the relief! To finally let go of that energy...surrender to it. Its like melting. The peaceful aliveness of it! But the ego wants no part of deep feelings of aliveness. To the ego, life = death.

Ever read Wilhelm Reich? He was famous for getting kicked out of Freud's inner circle for insisting that peoples emotional problems were due to blocked energy in the body.

Reich called the normal egoic state 'emotional armoring.' And he equated emotional amoring with its physical twin, 'muscular armoring.' Bands of muscles contract in the body, to keep certain feelings at bay -- like a rigid suit of armor that protects us from our feelings. The body becomes hard and rigid. The common description "uptight" comes to mind.

The therapy Reich developed worked on the mind and body both, to dissolve the emotional/physical armoring and let the pent-up energy flow. That flowing was alway accompanied by a deeply pleasurable feeling of peace and well-being.

Heres an interesting excerpt from a book written in 1971 by a man who underwent the therapy and finally....learned to cry.

http://orgonomy.org/article_003.html
If you stop believing in fear, is it still scary?

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Post by eseward » Sun Aug 05, 2007 7:59 am

Very well said IMO, Seancho.

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Post by fifi » Fri Sep 21, 2007 10:55 pm

Seancho wrote:For me, crying feels like an enormous release of pent up energy. A deep letting go.

The ego holds on, wont let go of anything. The ego is afraid. Thats why deep sobbing can feel frightening, and is considered shameful. Crying makes people uncomfortable. We are taught not to cry...especially men.

But the relief! To finally let go of that energy...surrender to it. Its like melting. The peaceful aliveness of it! But the ego wants no part of deep feelings of aliveness. To the ego, life = death.

Ever read Wilhelm Reich? He was famous for getting kicked out of Freud's inner circle for insisting that peoples emotional problems were due to blocked energy in the body.

Reich called the normal egoic state 'emotional armoring.' And he equated emotional amoring with its physical twin, 'muscular armoring.' Bands of muscles contract in the body, to keep certain feelings at bay -- like a rigid suit of armor that protects us from our feelings. The body becomes hard and rigid. The common description "uptight" comes to mind.

The therapy Reich developed worked on the mind and body both, to dissolve the emotional/physical armoring and let the pent-up energy flow. That flowing was alway accompanied by a deeply pleasurable feeling of peace and well-being.

Heres an interesting excerpt from a book written in 1971 by a man who underwent the therapy and finally....learned to cry.

http://orgonomy.org/article_003.html
Thats so true. I actually cry a lot yet I am so supple and flexible.
I cry if others are crying, I cry at sad and funny films and stories, and then I can laugh and not mind be laughed at. Its automatic. And with this I find i have no need for sadness drugs/revenge/hatred and the like.
To me, not being able to cry would be like a great thinker not being able to communicate their great stream of thoughts.

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Sweet relief

Post by sparkle6bunny » Mon Sep 24, 2007 3:40 am

I want to thank everyone for their post on this thread, although, I am not the original poster, I was struggling with this question myself today. I came home after a long weekend and felt myself being overcome by the desire to cry and doing so a few times. At first, it was triggered by saying good-bye to my mother on the phone and her telling her me how much she loves me. Usually, I would try to push the feelings away or allow the ego to tell me to get over it. But this time I gently whispered to myself to stay present, stay with the feeling and to surrender to it. I did and I felt so alive in that instant. The truth is the tears became neither derived from joy or sadness but rather from a feeling of as isness. I enjoyed everyone's comments and personal feedback, it really helped to clarify it for me.

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Post by renaissance » Mon Sep 24, 2007 4:53 pm

It's interesting that this has been brought up now. I have recently been becoming aware that I cannot cry. I made a conscious decision when I was 10, and haven't really cried since. It didn't seem like it solved anything, and I never saw other guys do it. Since then, I've made a habit of denying sadness, loneliness, and anger.

Does anyone have an experience like this, and then been able to rediscover your emotions? Is there any advice (other than "be more present") that anyone can offer? Thanks,

-Renaissance
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Re: Sweet relief

Post by fifi » Mon Sep 24, 2007 10:41 pm

sparkle6bunny wrote: The truth is the tears became neither derived from joy or sadness but rather from a feeling of as isness.
Sounds like you connected to the way she was feeling. 8)

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Post by Seancho » Mon Sep 24, 2007 11:10 pm

renaissance wrote: Does anyone have an experience like this, and then been able to rediscover your emotions? Is there any advice (other than "be more present") that anyone can offer? Thanks,

-Renaissance
Become aware of your body sensations. Often repressed emotions can be recognized as sensations of pressure, tension, friction. Common places to store pent up emotions are the face, neck, shoulders, back and abdomen.

Did you read the article I linked to above? There are lots of clues in that story.
If you stop believing in fear, is it still scary?

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Re: What role does shedding tears have in the Now?

Post by spikyface » Mon Oct 29, 2007 9:00 pm

Seancho your point kinda makes me think

I'm like Renaissance and made a conscious decision a long time to not cry (cos I'm all manly like a lumberjack :wink: )

I don't really derive any satisfaction from it (perhaps because of the judgement that comes afterwards that it's a sign of weakness), I've always thought that fixing the root cause of the unhappiness was better than sitting around crying about it

But that attitude only works with physical situations, there are certain things that bring me to the brink of tears for no good reason (at least nothing that I can understand)

I'll check out that article

Thanks geez
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Re: How to cry

Post by Suzanne » Thu Nov 08, 2007 5:51 am

renaissance wrote: Does anyone have an experience like this, and then been able to rediscover your emotions? Is there any advice (other than "be more present") that anyone can offer? Thanks,

-Renaissance
This is a great thread.

Ok. File this under an uninformed guess. No authority in this response, so toss at will.

I work with 10 year olds. There is alot of misunderstanding of others and the world at that age. They make alot of assumptions that are sometimes 180 degrees off. They only understand pieces of things, and that leaves them at a tremendous disadvantage.
Your question reminds me of the reaction my students often have to fear. Actually, fear of fear. Actually, fear of others seeing their fear of fear.

So, my response, for what it's worth, is, do you think it's possible that a strong fear, as a reaction to confusion or insecurity, gave rise to that decision not to cry? Is it possible that you saw someone's weakness while they were crying, you identified very negatively with that crying, and decided to refuse that weakness in yourself? Is it a lack of acceptance of a childhood fear?

If so, then, forgiving the crier, or criers in general, and empathising with them as confused frightened 10 year olds might release you from that decision. If other 10 year olds are allowed to cry, then you are, too.

I could be totally wrong about this, so, just taking a stab at it.
8) 8)

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Re: What role does shedding tears have in the Now?

Post by spikyface » Thu Nov 08, 2007 10:54 am

Heya Ren

Keep coming back to why you can't cry, don't dwell on it for more than a few minutes but keep it at the back of your mind and return to it every now and again

The answer will come to you
Do not take anyone as an authority on what you are. Ultimately all the answers lie within

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Re: How to cry

Post by renaissance » Thu Nov 08, 2007 6:17 pm

So, my response, for what it's worth, is, do you think it's possible that a strong fear, as a reaction to confusion or insecurity, gave rise to that decision not to cry? Is it possible that you saw someone's weakness while they were crying, you identified very negatively with that crying, and decided to refuse that weakness in yourself? Is it a lack of acceptance of a childhood fear?

If so, then, forgiving the crier, or criers in general, and empathising with them as confused frightened 10 year olds might release you from that decision. If other 10 year olds are allowed to cry, then you are, too.
It's hard to remember why I stopped. I was very young. My reasoning was: "crying solves nothing, so why cry?" It's possible that beyond that there is something deeper. You could be right. I also recall often not getting the response from my mother that I wanted when I did cry or hurt myself. It was often closer to "now what?," rather than "what's wrong?" or "how can I make it better?"

I suppose it's operant conditioning. Behavior (crying) = reward (mother's love and attention) --> more crying. Behavior --> No Reward --> less crying.

I forgot about that.

I did see crying as a weakness after I made the decision to stop.

I'm also reading "Emotional Clearing" and he mentions how it's not necessarily important to understand the source of your emotions, just focus on and process the present condition.

Any thoughts?
-Renaissance

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