Please help a newbie get a grasp on becoming more patient

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locksmith
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Please help a newbie get a grasp on becoming more patient

Post by locksmith » Tue Sep 04, 2007 8:01 am

Dear Kindred Spirits,

It is hard for me to ask questions b/c my comfort zone is in giving, so know in advance that I would greatly appreciate any help and it's not easy to ask. Also, I have searched the forum in advance, but have not found much. One of my greatest challenges is coping with feelings of intense impatience (in waiting rooms, long lines, etc). From what I have read here, I know (and have tried) to "just be aware," and to do nothing, to surrender, to say "Yes, I am feeling impatient...so what!?" I even tell myself that time doesn't exist, to just "BE" (in the now). I will look around the room or environment; but trying all of this, my anxiety grows and grows. Any comments? Locksmith

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Webwanderer
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Post by Webwanderer » Tue Sep 04, 2007 1:51 pm

Impatience of the type you describe comes from an unconscious mindset of judgment that there is something wrong with a particular experience. That is the experience of waiting. Can you feel your resistance to the experience of waiting.

So stop waiting.

Rather than waiting, try being actively present. Feel a sense of gratitude for the opportunity to rest in the moment unhurried by daily events. Use it for a time of open eyed meditation of immersion into non-individual awareness. Every instant has a quality of refreshing newness if we but recognize it.

These times of waiting are actually a blessing and a sanctuary to be embraced. Our days can be very busy, don't miss out on opportunities to regain some clarity of being.

(Sorry for the edit, some typos were bugging me.)
Last edited by Webwanderer on Tue Sep 04, 2007 10:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

locksmith
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What a beautiful reply

Post by locksmith » Tue Sep 04, 2007 3:23 pm

Thank you Webwanderer; very, very helpful!

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Post by suraj » Tue Sep 04, 2007 4:18 pm

Observe if the mind wants to go to the next moment ..the next event after the wait is over in the queue. The mind doesn't like this moment and wants to get to the next. And when it gets there , it wants to go to the moment after that .
After I read ET talking about it , I started observing it myself. And I found it to be funny . When I go to sleep at night , I think of the next day's morning. When I get up in the morning , I think of all the morning chores to do .While doing all that (in the bathroom) , I'm already in the bus :) and while in the bus , I think about the work to be done at office. Once at office, I begin to wait for the lunch time and after lunch for the ...well , well ..probably u understood.
I AM

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Seancho
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Post by Seancho » Tue Sep 04, 2007 10:27 pm

Be patient with your impatience.
If you stop believing in fear, is it still scary?

goatboy
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Post by goatboy » Wed Sep 05, 2007 11:20 am

imagine everyone in the queue is naked

locksmith
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Thanks again, and more reading I've done...

Post by locksmith » Thu Sep 06, 2007 4:06 am

Thank you all! The last comment, well, err um, OK...I'll try it (don't know if you are pulling my leg).

From what I have been reading, the universe if unfolding as it should and "impatience will not change anything for the better." Michael Lewin says "my only obligation is to listen attentively to this rhythm, place myself within its presence, and patiently work along side it." The waiting is in charge, not me. "All I can really do is attend, with a concentrated but relaxed mind, and wait..." Much easier said than done, and that dear friends is the good problem. I just keep thinking of myself as a work in progress, a seeker of truth; that it is no mistake I am now a member of this community and on this path. I AM (grateful).

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Post by weopposedeception » Thu Sep 06, 2007 4:57 am

You can always pray for patience and tolerance. And then hold on for dear life for what happens next.

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Post by mikel » Thu Sep 06, 2007 12:28 pm

locksmith, if you can try out what michael lewin says you'd be doing a great service to yourself...

you feel impatient attend to that, you feel resistence to attending to the impatience then attend to that, attend means to be aware of what is going on within you in this moment, no more no less.... eventually you will see that all you ever want is to attend to yourself, to be aware of your presence in the moment, you become addicted to it, so much so that outer things begin to fade into the background, all you want is to be within yourself, it's solidity...

for me it is happening gradualy with each day and is tinged with a sense of sadness and loss also... it is proving to be a kind of cathartic experience...

the most important thing in the beginning for me was to begin to dis-identify from my mind... I had been practicing a form of meditation called "focusing" for 10 years, it is alot to do with attending to the inner body... while it helped me alot... I was identified with mind and time and time again whatever gains I had accomplished were eventually spoiled by a scenario of thoughts undermining the mind based me.
It is breaking that identification which gives you that opportunity to explore yourself without being hindered by a mind based me...

it is then you can risk looking at the nature of the world and yourself as it is... unknown, indescribable, it is then that you can open up to yourself, this moment, this space...

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Post by eseward » Tue Sep 11, 2007 2:32 pm

Outstanding post IMO, mikel.
mikel wrote:the most important thing in the beginning for me was to begin to dis-identify from my mind...

I was identified with mind and time and time again whatever gains I had accomplished [through focusing] were eventually spoiled by a scenario of thoughts undermining the mind based me.

It is breaking that identification which gives you that opportunity to explore yourself without being hindered by a mind based me... it is then you can risk looking at the nature of the world and yourself as it is... unknown, indescribable, it is then that you can open up to yourself, this moment, this space...
Fabulous. :)

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