How to stay in silence?

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astaroth
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How to stay in silence?

Post by astaroth » Fri Nov 23, 2007 6:56 pm

Hi everyone!

My analytical way of taking things maybe still makes things more complicate than they are - because somehow I know just being there is the easiest thing in te world - but... anyway... I need clarity.

Currently I'm doing physical work and I have a lot of time for myself. So when I'm working I sometimes "wake up" from a mind-created story and I think "okay, now I will stay present". But thoughts come back very soon. Of course, they do. I'm not struggeling against these thoughts, I just watch them as the entity inside myself with all it's stories - but I'm not experiencing the "absence of myself".
I have only experienced this when I was very concentrated. At these times I saw everything created by the mind as just "not real" so I just returned to the silence. But even though I enjoyed this silence a lot, this being alert was something "serious", an effort, always concentratedly waiting for the next thought to come out...
When I let my mind do what it likes to I'm listening to it's stories constantly playing in my head just like I would a movie, sometimes remembering it's only a movie, a dream.
This constant returning to silence sometimes seems like "killing the thoughts" in favor of silence.
You know what I mean? But then I think "why hold on something what is not real?"

Although I recognized that by letting the mind/false self say what it likes to is = looking at it = getting aware of something. When I let my mind say "This can't be enlightenment. There must be more" than I laugh to myself. So I let my ego do it's job and hear what it has to say :wink:

I remember this: Consciousness does not care if the mind is noisy or not. Sometimes I think this wish of getting rid of all the mental noise is an egoic desire. But what if this silence is full of mental stories, memories, music, thinking about spirituality and so on...? Staying in silence, only with a crossing thought sometimes, seems like an impossible effort of concentration to me... When I observe my breath it is a bit easier... But it's still an effort, almost a struggle. My mind is so chaotic, so fast...

Sometimes there is even what I would call an "arriving thought". It is not a certain thought but something like the rumble of the approaching chaos. Sometimes I even "wake up" and don't know what I have just been thinking of. Or - while observing - I don't know if I'm thinking right now or not. I tell you, my mind is like a maelstrom almost impossible not to get sucked in.
I alwaysed used to be a person dreaming all day, very unconcentrated, totally stuck in his own world, thinking all the time. But this person is finding out that it's world isn't real. I think, there is still some faith in the realness of this inner world. Is this the answer? I find it hard to let this inner world go. There are all these doubts, all this analytical thinking about spirituality ("I'm sure this way of observation is wrong" for one example)... I feel a bit lonely without myself, so I'm making myself new company very fastly :lol:

There are these moments of silence when I just see one thought... and then maybe one more. And because I see them very clearly as something completely "impersonal" and "unreal" I don't get sucked in. But most times my chaotic mind reigns. I don't make a judgment (not a big one :lol:) out of it - but all "I" desire is this holy, mysterious silence I have experienced several times.

Okay, these were several questions throughout the thread :lol:
Comments, please, and thanx a lot in advance

asta
...you might remember me from such educational films as "Zen for couch-potatoes - The wisdom of never doing anything" or "Buddha from da hood - Was he a brother?"

D'ray
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Re: How to stay in silence?

Post by D'ray » Fri Nov 23, 2007 7:50 pm

Faking to be enlightent person is one of the silliest things. Acting like you are enlightment, doing very slow movements is one of the stupidest things... I hope you know what I'm talking about.. :mrgreen:

Seems to me that you don't want to feel or have any thoughts in you. That makes resistance to the flow of energy. There is NOTHING wrong with it. It just is.

Being in silence is very intimate thing. There is no right way of doing it. No words or concepts can take you there. All what you can read are just sign posts to the truth, not the truth itself.

Hit the ROOT of your thoughts/emotions. Who is it that feels/thinks this way? There is no answer to that. Then there comes lessening of that mental noise which tries to be you.
There's no "I" to become enlightened. The "I" can have spiritual experiences.

DON'T resist the RESISTANCE! The resistance is there. Walk into it. Feel it. Become one with it.

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