Presence in the face of "bad" behaviour

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spikyface
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Presence in the face of "bad" behaviour

Post by spikyface » Tue Dec 11, 2007 3:33 pm

Ok here's a question

Say I'm helping someone out, a family member and they're doing something that is not only causing them problems but by refusing to deal with it until the situation has gotten really bad, they end up dragging me into it too at the very last minute to fix the mess they've made

What's the "awakened" way of dealing with this?

Leave them clean up their own mess or try to help them out (which actually creates resistance in me because I'm in a situation that I don't want to be in)?

The issue here isn't in them, it's in my way of dealing with the situation
Do not take anyone as an authority on what you are. Ultimately all the answers lie within

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heidi
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Re: Presence in the face of "bad" behaviour

Post by heidi » Tue Dec 11, 2007 6:14 pm

There's something to be said for healthy boundaries, and if by "helping" you feel that you're allowing someone to overstep your personal boundaries, then that's when you say no in a loving and straight forward way.

It might help you to ask, whose business is it? :) (ala Katie, yours? his? or gods?) HTH
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weichen
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Re: Presence in the face of "bad" behaviour

Post by weichen » Tue Dec 11, 2007 11:00 pm

When you are transformed, the world is transformed. This moment is perfect as it is.

Out of stillness, you may be surprised to realize that
1. the "mess" is not really a "mess", it is actually something very beautiful, something that you can not buy with a million dollars.
2. this is not really "the last minute", and there is no such thing as "the last minute"
......

spikyface
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Location: Sheffield, England

Re: Presence in the face of "bad" behaviour

Post by spikyface » Wed Dec 12, 2007 3:49 pm

Ummm actually in this case there is a last minute because it was an assignment for his course and the deadline was the following morning :lol:

But perhaps in the deeper sense, if I hadn't helped him and allowed him to fail then perhaps that would have been a catalyst for growth to occur
Do not take anyone as an authority on what you are. Ultimately all the answers lie within

Kingdomcome
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Re: Presence in the face of "bad" behaviour

Post by Kingdomcome » Mon Dec 17, 2007 1:09 am

If you have found your deepest roots you should have more than adequate answers for how to deal with such a situation. So says the Ether. Or rather: my own experice.

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