What if your "now" is horrifying?

This is the place to post whatever questions you have related to the teachings of Eckhart Tolle. The rest of us will do whatever we can to help you achieve a better understanding :)
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Re: What if your "now" is horrifying?

Post by Chariot » Tue Aug 26, 2008 12:17 am

premiumphoto wrote:Sorry for the delay everyone. And thank you all for your kind and thoughtful responses. Let me clarify a few points. My friend does not dwell on the memory of her past abuses by her father. She does not have a "victim" mentality. But all the abuse she suffered has caused permanent lasting damage to her body to the point where the pain she lives with is unbearable for her. She is not dramatic about it but it affects her thinking because she is unable to sleep for more than three or four hours a night. She has been unable to change the pain. She does accept it fully. But the acceptance of it does not change it. She has said she has found a group that performs assisted suicide and if she can not get relief from her pain that she will use them. She would rather be dead than to go through life with the intensity of pain she experiences. I'm not sure how that plays karmiclly, but I don't think I can find fault with it from her perspective . It just seems that acceptance of her situation does not bring her relief. What could I possibly tell her that would bring her relief? She tells me these things because she knows I will not judge her or tell her she shouldn't feel a certain way. Or that she should not do something. I would feel much sadness if she killed herself. But then again, is the sadness merely selfish? She would not be in pain anymore and would be free from the earthly existence and literal "pain body" that she was unable to transcend.
I know this issue is complex. The only one who has the answers is your friend. I just thought these few points worth mentioning. Eckharts teachings state that all forms are unstable and impermanent. Since even physical pain is a form, it is also unstable and impermanent. Abraham states that all physical illness is a result of the allowance of negative emotion. This negative emotion is resistance which restricts the flow of energy required for our bodies to function properly. I suspect that even though your friend doesn't see herself as a victim, there is negative emotion present. This negative emotion restricts energy flow keeping the current physical condition in place. It's also most likely that this negative emotion is linked to unconscious thoughts regarding past abuse and the resultant current physical condition. Without negative emotion, the energy flow would be open and resistance would be gone. The body would heal naturally and automatically because the flow would be open. This is how miraculous healings occur which really aren't so much miraculous as they are natural processes being allowed. When there is true acceptance of a situation, there's a sensing or awareness of peace. Peace is not happiness. Peace simply coexists with whatever the current condition happens to be and we feel at ease. This peace is often enough to open a path for previously resisted energy to flow. When this happens, the transmutation of current conditions occurs naturally.

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Re: What if your "now" is horrifying?

Post by premiumphoto » Tue Aug 26, 2008 1:36 am

Thanks for this. I would agree with what you are saying. Part of what is wrong with my friend is the suffering she puts on herself by the story she tells herself, that her body is "disgusting." Her body is of course not disgusting but that is how her conditioning leads her to believe. The reason she is in so much intense physical pain is due in part (besides the abuse from her father) due to a botched surgery to have implants in her buttocks. They healed incorrectly and there is much scar tissue and a pulling of the body that twists her back painfully. The doctors say that removing them would make things even worse and wont even try. So I agree that negativity can play a huge part. But my friend suffers from something quite organic in nature that I think even an awakening process would not fix. I could be wrong though. That is why she has said she refuses to live like this because the physical pain makes even normal thinking difficult. Her "now" is quite painful and I think Eckhart would concede that she does have a big problem in the now. I think there must be a way to express the truth he was trying to convey in a better way, ok? :)


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Re: What if your "now" is horrifying?

Post by freedom » Tue Aug 26, 2008 3:38 pm


In response to chariot's post. I was also convinced initially of a link between repressed and unaccepted emotions and physical illness. I still am but with a much more realistic hat on. We all percieve ourselves as form/bodies here and even highly realised teachers fall fowl to physical illness and death of the body.
Adya has Bell's Palsy, Niseragaddta(you know who i mean) died of cancer, ET had stomach problems, Byron Katie seious eye disease, Antony DeMello died young etc.
In the world of form to take this idea as that simple is maybe too tall an order.Bodies are precarious, delicate things which are 100% certain of failing us.

With open interest

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Re: What if your "now" is horrifying?

Post by tikey » Sat Sep 20, 2008 1:17 pm

What if your "now" is horrifying?
Then Great - U Have a Challenge! :D
Im just a cloudless sky :)

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Re: What if your "now" is horrifying?

Post by goldenbirdies » Sat Nov 08, 2008 12:08 am

I think Eckhart is saying that there is a difference between the Now, and the content of the Now. Anything, good or bad, happening in a life situation is temporary; but the Now / Inner Space / One-ness is permanent.

I agree in certain situations it is difficult to take on board.

Last edited by goldenbirdies on Mon Nov 10, 2008 10:14 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Steal Softly through Sunshine, Steal Softly through Snow - Don Van Vliet

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Re: What if your "now" is horrifying?

Post by domokato » Sat Nov 08, 2008 2:42 am

Yes. Living with pain is a great challenge. The pain may affect your life situation negatively. However, turning pain into suffering is a personal choice, and only serves to drain you of more energy. Turning pain into suffering is the only way I can see her wanting to commit suicide. If you have come to the realization that you are not your body, that you are not your pain, then committing suicide would not be an attractive option. If you step back from your body, and realize it is not you, then why would you want to destroy it?

Here's an example from my life, which is much more benign than what she's going through, but is related:

Before, my housemates would have parties that would wake me up when I'm trying to sleep. My mind would say "Grrr...they're so loud! I can't sleep now!" And it would become true - I couldn't sleep for a long time, maybe even hours, because my mind paid attention to the noise and believed it was keeping me awake. But now that I have discovered presence, my mind says nothing, and I simply fall back asleep in a few seconds, even with the noise continuing. For me, it's immediate forgiveness of the noise that allows me to do this.

Perhaps she would benefit by doing the same with the pain.

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Re: What if your "now" is horrifying?

Post by Adahy » Mon Nov 10, 2008 5:22 pm

Last edited by Adahy on Fri Nov 14, 2008 9:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: What if your "now" is horrifying?

Post by Sighclone » Tue Nov 11, 2008 7:54 am

Dear Adahy -

What a lovely, heartfelt real comment. This forum has for years had many who share their struggles and progress - we are blessed by the anonymity of our screen names. But my absolute favorites are those like yours which demonstrate relief from deep suffering by persistence in the present moment. I have a dear sister who is struggling with living in the past...it has deeply clouded her presence. I've kind of polluted her on Eckhart (is that possible?) by sending her both books and getting pretty earnest about him on a visit a few months ago. She needs to see anyone who is doing just fine (like me, and other happy people) as "not-OK." I'm taking a different approach - just showing love, and demonstrating presence...

I may copy her with your post some day...thanks again.

Namaste, Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce

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