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too angry/agitated to be present

Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 11:28 pm
by patbb

my wife is very intelligent.
which makes her ego equally intelligent, crafty, and extremely active.
(one day she was explaining to me that when she close her eyes for one second, she think about 7 different things. ex:"worry about her mom, worry about going to court next week (she's a lawyer), worry about the rent, something about me, something about the past...)

but she also suffer from depression her whole life.

She love Tolle's books; and she can practice presence when her mind is relatively calm.
She actually say it has helped her so much, she was constantly living in the past and in the future, biting her nails until blood; but now she can enjoy things without being constantly worry.

Problem comes when she feels really, extremely edgy and agitated inside, she claim that she is too upset to become present.
I would have been under the impression that if the mind is so loud and noisy, it would become easy to become aware of it and of it's negative activity, thus helping dissolve it's power.
But what she is doing doesn't seem to help her at all during those moments.

Anyhow that is all i can say now.

I'm not looking for something specific,
If you have any suggestions, helpful tips, maybe ways to rephrase something differently...
Anything that could potentially help us would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you so very much and please enjoy this moment! :)

Ps: please forgive my rudimentary English.

pps:: When she is very upset and i suggest to her that maybe she could find peace if she step back and look at her ego, look at the activity of the ego, by getting into the now.
Maybe just take a couple deep breaths (see if you are still breathing) and then just truly listen, and then maybe feel your body etc...
Her answer will be inevitable:" I can't. I just can't." and she might leave to the office (during the weekend) because she says to be too angry, too edgy etc...

Re: too angry/agitated to be present

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2009 12:02 am
by kiki
She needs to be patient with herself and allow the experience to grow in those times when demands on her are few, and that will carry over into other times as well. As it is, her mind is so used to thinking that there is little opportunity for it to stop - this is the conditioning that is so embedded that it has become part of her identity. If she could just stop and feel what is actual and true at all times and put attention on that rather than on the content of thought then presence will be recognized more easily.

And by the way, welcome to the board. Please read over Forum Guidelines and Rules: http://eckhart-tolle-forum.inner-growth ... um.php?f=9 Do your best with spelling and capitalization.


Re: too angry/agitated to be present

Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2009 1:46 am
by Juno
I would remind her to show compassion for herself. Maybe leave it at that.

Re: too angry/agitated to be present

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 8:54 am
by NoordZee
Hello Patbb,
It is never easy to answer questions in respect of the one who asks the questions. It is bound to be more difficult to answer them when they concern someone else. I don't give advice on this site, as I am simply not living according to Eckhart Tolle,s teachings. I have too much too learn myself in this regard. I nevertheless venture to say that your wife could start by focusing on all the things she has achieved over the years. Becoming a lawyer is certainly an achievement. I am pretty sure that the life of a solicitor can be pretty stressful. She could take time out every day, even for only a few minutes, to simply meditate on everything that is good and to become aware that her thoughts do not represent reality. They are simply bits of energy that come and go. You probably will say that she is too angry at these moments to be able to enter the Present. This may well be true. She seems to be aware of this though, as that is what she says to you. Her great 'achievement' would be to become aware of the fact that she is aware of her thoughts. Hmm...that is a far as I can go. I wish you luck.

Re: too angry/agitated to be present

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 4:39 pm
by Webwanderer
I suggest that she (and everyone) prioritize what's important in life, and then live through a sense of those priorities. What's more important, paying the rent, preparing for work, or living through an experiencial sense of truth? Once it's clear what our priorities are, secondary issues such as work and economics, become less stressful and generally more efficient in their doing. Life becomes more of a dance than a labor.


Re: too angry/agitated to be present

Posted: Wed Mar 04, 2009 3:29 pm
by Peaceman
I am a newbie too and although I agree advice is a real dodgy thing at least we can say what we think and learn what we read from those who are more advanced than ourselves. The reason why I am replying to your post is because ...after a hectic week where I was not bothered in the least by pressure eg still being able to find the prescence when I sought it...last night I was in real "thought" mode and no way could I switch off. I was in bed I resolved it was refusing to get up...refusing to switch light on...refusing to read etc. ....I just waited and waited ...and it passed...well I fell asleep! It did bring my attention to the problems some people have in this respect , I don't usually have this problem, in fact it was unusual for me. I took it as a valuable lesson. It really is a choice your wife will have to make, she doesn't HAVE to live like this.