This is the place to post whatever questions you have related to the teachings of Eckhart Tolle. The rest of us will do whatever we can to help you achieve a better understanding :)
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Post by 7thzombie » Tue Dec 08, 2009 5:47 am

Hello everyone, just started reading up on the good ol' Tolle. My pain body is a weird one. Growing up I had bad eyesight and a slight lazy eye. I was always super self conscious and nervous (Still am) around people and for the past year every time someone looks at me I notice their left eye squints. Oneday my friend goes "hey when you look at me your left eye squints..." as his was as well. Like, I INFECT people with that energy. I started to become conscious of it and now its like a subtle SUCKING BLACK HOLE everyone I look at I can see their eye squinting and they get weirded out and nervous when they talk to me... so anyways my is poor and the cause of bad eyesight is tension in the eye muscles... so Tolle talks about the pain body as sometimes a tense constricting force that blocks life energy, I applied this "bringing the light" into my eyes and WOW WOW WOW I started to feel myeyes get soft warm and relax... sort of like expanding awareness on all senses!! I felt INCREDIBLE I even smelled / tasted better and my eyesight literally starting improving before my very eyes!!!! like, I have an eye chart in my room because I practice the Bates method (natural eyesight improvement) and it went from ~20/200 to literally 20/40 and I felt like an EXPANSION of energy and I felt really good. The colors were more rich and vivid... I became aware if subtle things (as I said before taste, smell, sounds, EYESIGHT IMPROVED etc...) I can't put it into words other than EXPANSION of energy and awareness... I just felt REALLY good and lighter - weightless kind of. I went for a drive and same thing, got these fluctuating "clear flashes" of good vision followed by bursts of intense presence, centerdness, "in the moment"... the inner chatter quieted down and I was feeling the music in my car, like the booming bass, it sounded INCREDIBLE I couldn't help but bob my head, it felt SO GOOD. I cant put it into words... I could just FEEL the music.)

but then this faded as I got back to the apartment with the roommates.

Is this a taste enlightenment? Is this what enlightenment, or on the path of it is??? I felt alive, strong, happy... A little bit of the pain was still there in my eyes and otherwise (read below) but still it was so much more depth and sensation than anything I've felt in YEARS.

but the thing is, as I go deep into this unconscious eye tension strain/clenching etc all these weird feelings keep coming up, like I feel pain in my eyes (and under the left eye socket) and chest,abdomen,stomach... almost like a stinging. I even am getting constricted breathing on and off/sternum pain on and off...I couldnt even sleep last night... I also feel this odd cold sensation too....like a TINGLING.... that's the best way to describe it.

is this a normal part of the process of dissolving the pain body?

oh and when I felt good my voice got deeper, louder, richer and resonate too... like...wow. Before my voice was kind of shallow and higher ptched because I guess I walk around nervous all the time around people so my diaphragm or eyes cant relax....
but just then it felt GOOD to even TALK lol.... ... I'm hoping I'm on the right track here. I don't want these teaching to lead me down a weird dangerous harmful path.....

so anyways please let me know if this process is normal. I'm kind of worried I'm doing damage to my nervous system. Besides feeling tingly and the odd stinging bitter pain that keeps coming up and staying with me, I feel like I can't feel love or warmth either, like, we just got a kitten and I literally feel sorta numb to it, like I'm trying to pet it but I dont feel love towards it at all, I try and I try but it just isnt working :| OH and get this lol, I look the cat in the eyes and HIS LITTLE LEFT EYE SQUINTS AT ME TOO! hahaha It's like a blackhole pain body that sucks all living creatures into it...humans and animals! scary... he also closes his eyes (Squints) a lot when he looks at me, I think he might be becoming myopic/nearsighted like me :((( or he senses pain in my eyes when he looks at me...

Oh and also my roommates are like telling stories in the den cracking up and I CANT LAUGH its like this weird nervous energy builds up inside me and my facial and eye muscles get all tense and I feel bad....I cant "vibe" with them or listen or even feel the joy and laughter they are feeling. I can't "follow their stories" I just get self conscious and nervous like all this built up energy and tension in my face and body. I couldnt even make eye contact.

but I think I'm bringing light on all these unconscious painful feelings I carried around for years, as tolle says..

oh and I feel exhausted and am getting dark circles under my eyes too..... :[[[

SO CONFUSED, advice would be great, or if I'm doing it wrong please let me know. Is this normal? Thanks everyone. I hope this is a normal part of the healthy process of freeing up blocked unconscious pain body energy and coming into joy and enlightenment and aliveness!!

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Post by Onceler » Tue Dec 08, 2009 12:54 pm

Whoa, is right!

You have a lot going on. Congratulations on your insight...my only comment is to say that I don't believe you can damage or hurt your body with awareness or presence....just unconsciousness.

You can't damage who you really are, ever.
Be present, be pleasant.

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Post by Sighclone » Tue Dec 08, 2009 10:30 pm

Discovering Pure Awareness can often involve breaking through constrictions in our body caused by subconscious conditioning. During meditation, twitching is normal. Stresses form in many ways in our body. They are nourished by egoic behaviors and "stories of me." Releasing techniques such as The Sedona Method (Dworskin's book) can also help to cast them off. Expecting overnight permanent transformations is unrealistic.

It seems that your ego (Story of me) is linked to the eye issues. It is probably a "comfort zone" even though it is dysfunctional. Sometimes we gravitate to the familiar even if it is not healthy of life-supporting. Because returning to your roommates seemed to trigger reversion to the old eye symptoms, perhaps you can find a retreat from them for a while in the near future. I also encourage you to get a copy of Eckhart's CD "Gateways to NOW." It has some calming, simple exercises which encourage resting in presence.

Welcome to the forum, by the way.

Namaste, Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce

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Post by Vera_CZ » Mon Apr 25, 2016 7:42 pm

I created this account now just as I saw this message, because I have always had a very similar problem which concerns my eyes and I often felt like I was the only one, I mean I have problems looking into eyes of other people and even talking to them, it's much easier if I just look somewhere else.. but with me it's a little different, because it's like my eyes change their shape, and it was making me feel very self-conscious and not really like belonging to my body.. when I started noticing it I thought I was crazy and I had quite a hard time, but recently, and also since listening to Eckhart Tolle's talks, I've been trying to be aware of my whole body more and it is better.. well, I've been thinking about it a lot too and it's connected to many more things, but as I keep listening to him it is much better.. I also have a bad eyesight and I am sure it is connected to this, and also sometimes I have experienced these clear vision moments which is so amazing.. I think it must be possible to improve, I think I just have to accept my eyes somehow and concentrate on my body at all times. Thank you for your post =)

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