Untolerable internal pressure - What's going on? Advice?

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Kae
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Untolerable internal pressure - What's going on? Advice?

Post by Kae » Thu Jun 10, 2010 10:43 pm

What I once knew as "anxiety" is taking on strange forms... It's been changing lately.
I used to feel anxiety when it came to close emotional relationships. I used to get this fear in my stomach that ate me from the inside. It's something that has kept me from having a healthy relationship all my life, I think (and I'm 27 now).

In the last 2 years, it's changed, and it became anxiety that also came out of nowhere, and lasted, unconnected with whether I was seeing a girl or not.

In these last 2 years, I have also felt this gnawing restless energy inside me. It feels like this heavy pressure, coming from the inside, like a balloon getting inflated inside me. Sometimes it feels like I'm a about to rip apart.

This internal pressure has become particularly strong in the last 2-4 weeks. I'm restless, I'm have no peace, I am completely uncapable of sitting down, closing my eyes and being with myself. I feel like my veins are about to pop upon if I try it. It's an internal pressure that feels so strong, that I have to lie down. That's what my last few days have been like. I wake up and get myself out of bed (with quite some difficulty and pep talk), go to work and momentarily have a break from this buzzing irritation under my skin while I concentrate on my work, then as I go home I can feel the pressure mounting inside me, and then I usually have to lie down when I come, because I can't stand or concentrate on anything.

(With reading ET, I have learned to recognize ego when I see it. And I see it everywhere in me. I see pain-body in this strange energy that keeps me from being myself and being relaxed. I see ego in the way that I senselessly grab for anything to "fill me up" and make me happier. But even though I can spot it, I am unable to disconnect from it. I fear that I am still attached to my pain-body and feeding it energy. I don't know what to do.)

Now that I write this, I realize that these past 4 weeks, as this restless, irritating pressure inside me has grown stronger, I have also been taking antidepressant medication for my anxiety... I don't know if there is a connection. I also felt this before I started taking it, but not as strong.

Does this sounds familiar to anybody? Has anybody experienced similar things?

I don't know what to do. I must admit that I do get afraid. Afraid that anxiety is taking over my life, that I'm unable to do anything without feeling fear, unable to be at peace. I feel like this might force me to live a "small" life, lived inside my house and at my work, protected from anything upsetting. I don't really know who I am anymore.
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Plorel
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Re: Untolerable internal pressure - What's going on? Advice?

Post by Plorel » Thu Jun 10, 2010 11:20 pm

Hey Kae...

From my experience and what I hear from the great teachers, there always are thoughts (mental storys) behind lasting, negative emotions. Can you identify them? If its impossible to release those emotions in awareness, maybe you can go to their root and work with thoughts instead...?

All the best
stefan
Who am I without my story?

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Re: Untolerable internal pressure - What's going on? Advice?

Post by Kae » Thu Jun 10, 2010 11:29 pm

Hey Stefan,

Thanks for your answer.

I have read this many times, in books and in different places, and thought about this. I have given up on trying to find a feeling or a thought behind this. I simply haven't been successful in those attempts.

There might be a story behind it... It would be something in relation to intimate relationships, and rejection... and need.. and care... those would be my speculations. But I have never connected to anything. And from reading Eckhart Tolle that's not even necessary. You just have to be aware of this energy field in you............
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Re: Untolerable internal pressure - What's going on? Advice?

Post by arel » Thu Jun 10, 2010 11:31 pm

Anxiety is a form of pain, emotional pain. Any type of pain is the organism letting you know things became unhealthy and harmful. Stop and consider what makes people healthy. What is natural and healthy for us? Apply logic, simplicity and your own experience.

In my opinion what is natural and healthy for this body is healthy nutrition (good food and enough water), exercise, natural deep breathing and being social (play). I would advise to not overlook any one of these. (If you have not thought about breathing perfectbreath.com is a very good resource and I have no affiliation with them.

I understand you are male. For us what is healthy in addition to the basic things above, is having challenges to overcome. For women, I think nurturing care and sexuality is what resonates on deeper level, just my opinion.

Do not make the mistake of relying on spirituality to heal the pain. It will constantly draw your attention to itself. Seeing through it by knowing the pain as appearances in the human experience and not what you are, is helpful, but does not matter if you are fat and dehydrated, do not breath naturally and feel lonely. It all will still be known as unhealthy. Sure, not a big deal, just coming and going appearances in what you are, but still here. And you have choice over them a lot of the time when you are consciously present. So exercise that choice the best you can. I wish you well.
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Re: Untolerable internal pressure - What's going on? Advice?

Post by Sighclone » Fri Jun 11, 2010 9:16 am

Kae -

i forget - did you try mc2method? It is here: http://www.mc2method.com/listen/ -- there are more advanced sessions on the main website here: mc2method.com. This is a technique for identifying and releasing tensions which have somatic locations.

Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce

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Re: Untolerable internal pressure - What's going on? Advice?

Post by Marcel Franke » Fri Jun 11, 2010 11:05 am

Hello Kae,

> I don't really know who I am anymore.

That is an interesting remark.
Who were you before you lost this knowledge ?
---ooOoo---

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Re: Untolerable internal pressure - What's going on? Advice?

Post by Mouse » Fri Jun 11, 2010 1:35 pm

Here is what to do Kae.

1) Look into your circumstantial life and identify the relationship or circumstance that is causing anxiety. With woman it comes up, you write, well that means your self is coming inbetween your love deep in your body and your intelligence. Self, the pain body, is there in the inner space and needs a feed, don't feed it. See what the circumstance is that is causing anxiety and get that more right.There is always a circumstance. It will be occuring now in your life somewhere, no good looking into the past to try to find the start of it. Look into your life now it will be there as some action you are doing. You have to tackle it from both sides with your self knowledge within and your accurate pinpointing of what's not right in your life, ie what makes you emotional or anxious.
I have been inspired by Barry Long's teaching and I write this so as to acknowledge my source of inspiration. It is a wonderful help, and it is a wonderful gift.

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Re: Untolerable internal pressure - What's going on? Advice?

Post by Kae » Wed Jun 16, 2010 12:53 am

Plorel wrote:Hey Kae...

From my experience and what I hear from the great teachers, there always are thoughts (mental storys) behind lasting, negative emotions. Can you identify them? If its impossible to release those emotions in awareness, maybe you can go to their root and work with thoughts instead...?

All the best
stefan
This I have read in many places. And I've tried it. And I even know which thougths and stories are at the root of this pain. But it doesn't seem to work for me. I haven't been successful in connecting with anything that I can then release...
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Re: Untolerable internal pressure - What's going on? Advice?

Post by Kae » Wed Jun 16, 2010 12:58 am

I just answered that post a second time... :P
arel wrote:Do not make the mistake of relying on spirituality to heal the pain. It will constantly draw your attention to itself. Seeing through it by knowing the pain as appearances in the human experience and not what you are, is helpful, but does not matter if you are fat and dehydrated, do not breath naturally and feel lonely. It all will still be known as unhealthy. Sure, not a big deal, just coming and going appearances in what you are, but still here. And you have choice over them a lot of the time when you are consciously present. So exercise that choice the best you can. I wish you well.
Thanks Arel. That is something important, for sure, and I am and always have been attentive to that. I'm working out a lot these days, and it helps me tolerate this inner pressure/energy.

Not to subtract from the importance of what you just dais, but the fact remains, that even if you socialise, work out, breathe correctly and eat well, you may still feel pain/anxiety/fear. And I guess most or many of the people on this message board are looking for an effective solution to that.

And it's an interesting comment, that you shouldn't rely on spirituality to heal the pain... Because maybe that's what many of us are doing. But isn't that a good solution though, if you think about it? When everything you know has proven worthless in the face of a problem, who do we turn to but God? Help from above. Spirit. What is true and what is our essence. Isn't that something that we should turn to, and will eventually solve our problems?
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Re: Untolerable internal pressure - What's going on? Advice?

Post by Kae » Wed Jun 16, 2010 1:00 am

Sighclone wrote:i forget - did you try mc2method? It is here: http://www.mc2method.com/listen/ -- there are more advanced sessions on the main website here: mc2method.com. This is a technique for identifying and releasing tensions which have somatic locations.
Andy,
I started listening to the beginning, but didn't finish. I might give it another try. But it sounded a lot like everything I've read in Tolle, and I'm a little of hearing the same thing over and over. And sometimes I think you just get plain tired of reading and searching and trying...
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Re: Untolerable internal pressure - What's going on? Advice?

Post by Kae » Wed Jun 16, 2010 1:07 am

Marcel Franke wrote:Hello Kae,

> I don't really know who I am anymore.

That is an interesting remark.
Who were you before you lost this knowledge ?
This is honestly the explanation I would give to this, and I know it's completely naive and hopelessly romantic and even very ego, but it's what's true for me right now. I can't shake it, I've tried.

I was someone that loved a girl, and my feelings for this girl were very deep. And it wasn't just a crush, or a falling in love. There was also a knowing that we should be together, and would be together, even though it didn't happen that time. With her I was someone mature, loving and warm... She saw in me the greatest version of myself that I've ever felt. I knew exactly what I wanted when I was with her. I wanted to be who I was, be with her, enjoy being that me and and enjoy those feelings I had for her.

She didn't accept to start a relationship with me (for reasons too complicated to explain here) and I feel lost. I feel that something is missing, something is wrong --- which sounds like 100% ego, I know, but I'm unable to alter it. I feel like something inside me broke. Something won't heal.

And I find it very hard trying to be that version of myself without her...
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Re: Untolerable internal pressure - What's going on? Advice?

Post by Kae » Wed Jun 16, 2010 1:08 am

Mouse wrote:Here is what to do Kae.

1) Look into your circumstantial life and identify the relationship or circumstance that is causing anxiety. With woman it comes up, you write, well that means your self is coming inbetween your love deep in your body and your intelligence. Self, the pain body, is there in the inner space and needs a feed, don't feed it. See what the circumstance is that is causing anxiety and get that more right.There is always a circumstance. It will be occuring now in your life somewhere, no good looking into the past to try to find the start of it. Look into your life now it will be there as some action you are doing. You have to tackle it from both sides with your self knowledge within and your accurate pinpointing of what's not right in your life, ie what makes you emotional or anxious.
I think you might be right. So to tackle this effectively, I must be engaged in some sort of relationship...... :roll:
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Re: Untolerable internal pressure - What's going on? Advice?

Post by Marcel Franke » Wed Jun 16, 2010 11:10 am

> This is honestly the explanation I would give to this,
> and I know it's completely naive and hopelessly romantic and even very ego,
> but it's what's true for me right now. I can't shake it, I've tried.
> I was someone that loved a girl, and my feelings for this girl were very deep.
> She didn't accept to start a relationship with me
> (for reasons too complicated to explain here) and I feel lost.
> And I find it very hard trying to be that version of myself without her...

What is true, is true.
You as an individual, feel romantic about someone.
That’s what is happening.
For complicated reasons things just happen and unhappen.
And when you find the first reason, you will find there is another reason behind it.
And behind it, and behind it, and behind it…
There is no end to complicated reasons.
No one is responsible for that, saint nor sinner, lover nor leaver.
Of course you are unable to alter it.
There is just this huge stream of complicated reasons called universe, or life.
And its very nature is altering.
The idea of someone able to alter it is a bit silly.
That idea is also part of this huge altering stream of complicated reasons.
The idea of someone able to do nothing all day is just as silly.
That’s just the next idea that just happens.
So drama just happens.
But since it just happens, there is no real owner in it.
It is just like watching a soap-series.
You see Jock the surgeon crying over nurse Emily.
But your neither Jock nor Emily.
You know that while watching tv.
Then there is no problem.
Your just the viewer.
If you don’t know this, then there might be a little problem.

Some familymembers of mine used to put a soccer-shoe on the tv-set
when a soccermatch of the favourite team was broadcasted.
Sometimes the others scored, then it was bad luck,
sometimes the favourite team scored, then it was The Shoe.
---ooOoo---

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Re: Untolerable internal pressure - What's going on? Advice?

Post by gordon8888 » Sun Jul 04, 2010 7:10 am

From listening to Tolles audio books and reading his books, I would think he would
think he would probably say something like, Be with that feeling, surrender to it.
See it as Energy. an Energy field. [Our bodies are ultimately Energy anyway], until it
murges with your pain-body, then eventualy dissolve it.
Peace, Dennis

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Re: Untolerable internal pressure - What's going on? Advice?

Post by Sighclone » Sun Jul 04, 2010 7:17 am

Kae -

You might benefit from reiki -- contact a master near you.

Also Bonnie Greenwell who works with kundalini energies -- here: http://www.kundaliniguide.com/

And Jo Dunning, here: http://www.jodunning.com/Public/Home/index.cfm

Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce

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