How to Stop Being Dependent on Another?

This is the place to post whatever questions you have related to the teachings of Eckhart Tolle. The rest of us will do whatever we can to help you achieve a better understanding :)
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peaceofnomind
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How to Stop Being Dependent on Another?

Post by peaceofnomind » Wed Aug 11, 2010 7:58 pm

Its hard to be with your pain body or your thoughts when you have your partner/spouse around. It seems they fulfill a need that is considered false but definately exists.

My partner is doing some therapeutic work with himself and I am finding myself feeling anxious, lonely, insecure and jealous.
I recognize these feelings but how do I become more content?

I am on a beginner's path. I have decided to first work out my issues with conventional ways and then incorporate some more spirituality into myself since I feel I am not fully ready for this stage.
I do though believe the simple philosophies taught by Eckhart Tolle can help me somewhat combined with 80% conventional work. ( I just can't ignore E's teachings right now!)

With that being said and my concern, can anyone advise me? I no longer want to be co-dependent or clingy with another, I want to find content within myself....

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Sighclone
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Re: How to Stop Being Dependent on Another?

Post by Sighclone » Wed Aug 11, 2010 8:06 pm

Co-dependence and enabling is part of a low-self image. Yes, this is a nonduality forum, and self-image is not something we like to build up, but a certain self-confidence and learning to be self-compassionate is a keystone step to ultimately discarding the egoic identity. Get a copy of Denton Roberts' "Able and Equal" to work on self-compassion, and review it with your counselor. None of this means you need to dismiss Tolle and nonduality. Conventional therapy is about "becoming" -- nonduality is about "being."

Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce

peaceofnomind
Posts: 42
Joined: Thu Jun 03, 2010 8:51 pm

Re: How to Stop Being Dependent on Another?

Post by peaceofnomind » Wed Aug 11, 2010 8:19 pm

Thank you for your reference. I will pick it up today.
If you have another better reference for what I have been going thru, please let me know.
I want to start with one.

mmy
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Joined: Mon Oct 20, 2008 2:45 am

Re: How to Stop Being Dependent on Another?

Post by mmy » Thu Aug 12, 2010 3:58 am

Hi peaceofnomind,

One of the best books on codependency is Codependent No More by Melody Beattie.

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