New job and high anxiety

This is the place to post whatever questions you have related to the teachings of Eckhart Tolle. The rest of us will do whatever we can to help you achieve a better understanding :)
Post Reply
sunnyjo
Posts: 98
Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2009 6:02 pm

New job and high anxiety

Post by sunnyjo » Mon Dec 20, 2010 3:56 pm

Would be really grateful for some tips relating to anxiety that I am experiencing at the moment.

I have a new job as a live-in carer to start the 17th Jan. I have experience doing this type of work within a nursing home but this time will be within the clients home. I really want to do this job but feel incredible tension about it. Every part of my body seems to be tense and there is the feeling of being out of my body watching every movement that I make. Basic functioning is really difficult. I have dealt with this before successfully but this time seems different. This time I am solely responsible for the client and if I am in this place of being unable to function and I am not going to be able to go ahead and do this work.

Even although I can feel tension in the body I am not suffering or in despair over this but I would love to overcome this and go ahead and do what I wish to do! I also know that it is futile trying to 'get rid' of the anxiety. I have felt a lot of joy and peace even although the body is really tense. I have also tried to be aware of what the thoughts are triggering this but I am not aware of any.

Thank you!
"We are the mirror, as well as the face in it"

Rumi

Quinn
Posts: 408
Joined: Thu Feb 18, 2010 3:52 am

Re: New job and high anxiety

Post by Quinn » Mon Dec 20, 2010 5:14 pm

Hi sunnyjo,

I haven't ever been in the position you're in, so take this with a grain of salt. But I have been through anxiety - just lately - about my mother who's teetering on the edge of being able to stay in the situation she's in OR needing to be in a nursing home OR should I take her into my home OR is she going to die any minute and should I drop everything to be with her. Throw in a few complications, like she lives 1200 miles away and has medical reasons why she shouldn't live near me in the cold, and then add rampant alcoholism (hers, not mine). And the fact that she's nearly died a few times now.

So I was in a major head-swirl as she was in and out of the hospital last week. A lot of thoughts, emotions, anxiety, sadness. I let it play out. I did not try to pretend everything was ok. I cried. I became non-functioning in spurts. I didn't try to deny anything. And then I saw clearly that this was all about control. Me trying to control someone else's life. Thinking I had the power, by my choices, to make things OK.

We don't have power over anyone else's life. We may influence things - but we can't control. So I made the best choices I could make, given the circumstances. And now I'm letting (ha, as if I have a choice) things play out as they're going to play out. My choice was to cut off her alcohol supply and see how much is dementia and how much is drunkenness. And then go from there. Will she figure out a new way to get the booze? Maybe. It's happened before. And then I'll deal with that.

Letting go of the steering wheel. Other people may or may not understand it, but the reality is we aren't the ones driving in the first place. And we go through a lot of anxiety thinking we are. Once the fog of anxiety lifted and I was seeing clearly, the answers came to me. I do what I can do - what I'm able to do. You probably have a lot of knowledge and instinct that will help the person you're going to work for. It will come out.

And, by the way, I have huge respect and admiration for your work. Not many people are willing to be on the front line of illness and death, sitting with it every day. Just being there for your client is a blessing.

runstrails
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 2216
Joined: Wed Feb 10, 2010 12:33 am

Re: New job and high anxiety

Post by runstrails » Mon Dec 20, 2010 8:20 pm

sunnyjo wrote:
Even although I can feel tension in the body I am not suffering or in despair over this but I would love to overcome this and go ahead and do what I wish to do! I also know that it is futile trying to 'get rid' of the anxiety. I have felt a lot of joy and peace even although the body is really tense. I have also tried to be aware of what the thoughts are triggering this but I am not aware of any.
Hi sunnyjo,

I think its perfectly natural to feel anxiety over a new (and so far unknown) situation. I also think its terrific that you are allowing the anxiety to appear and not repressing it. Ultimately, this will release the anxiety. You are already doing an inquiry to determine what might be causing the anxiety so thats good too. Just let it be. Clearly you are conscious of everything going on internally.

One of the most egoic tendencies (that is difficulty to get rid of) is the " if only this was resolved I would be able to get to what I need to do". This is one of the 4 mara's that Buddha faced just prior to his awakening and Buddhism talks about. So recognize this as ego doing its thing and take it in stride. Allow the anxiety, be conscious of it and then go ahead and do what you need to anyway. Good luck with the new position! Keep us posted.

sunnyjo
Posts: 98
Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2009 6:02 pm

Re: New job and high anxiety

Post by sunnyjo » Tue Dec 21, 2010 2:06 pm

Thank you, Quinn and Runstrails.

Im enquiring into this really deeply - getting up early and just being with the breath, sitting quietly, asking questions. Im aware that at times that I just want this anxiety to go away and have to remind myself to move closer to it.

Good point Runstrails about the egoic tendancy of believing that once this is over everything will be fine and if i only i could do this..etc. Thanks for the reminder!

Quinn - thank you for also reminding me about control. Who am I to say that things should be a certain way?!

Much love to you and your mum, Quinn
"We are the mirror, as well as the face in it"

Rumi

Quinn
Posts: 408
Joined: Thu Feb 18, 2010 3:52 am

Re: New job and high anxiety

Post by Quinn » Tue Dec 21, 2010 3:37 pm

sunnyjo wrote: Much love to you and your mum, Quinn
Thanks, sunnyjo. I felt that :)

karmarider
Posts: 2141
Joined: Wed Mar 25, 2009 8:00 pm
Location: Florida
Contact:

Re: New job and high anxiety

Post by karmarider » Tue Dec 21, 2010 4:16 pm

sunnyjo wrote:...I also know that it is futile trying to 'get rid' of the anxiety...
Anxiety can be released. The good thing about anxiety is it's a strong emotion, so it comes out to play conspicuously.

Here is a very simple technique for releasing anxiety: http://www.beyond-karma.com/how-to/how- ... s-release/

User avatar
Cheshirecat
Posts: 36
Joined: Thu Dec 09, 2010 4:40 pm

Re: New job and high anxiety

Post by Cheshirecat » Tue Dec 21, 2010 4:26 pm

I to at timse deal with anxiety. What I'm wondering is........... if maybe anxiety and nirvana might the different sides of the same coin. And maybe what determines which I think I'm feeling is the thinking. Sooooooooooooo maybe if I suspend the thinking by getting really close to it.......maybe it's really nirvana disguised as anxiety.

Just a thought I have been pondering.
If you see me before I get back....ask me to wait. Cheshire Cat

rachel100639
Posts: 99
Joined: Wed May 26, 2010 6:46 am

Re: New job and high anxiety

Post by rachel100639 » Fri Dec 24, 2010 5:27 am

Sunnyjo,

What is it, exactly, you are anxious about? Do you know? Please listen and do the Mc2 Method below. It is free although they like a $8 donation. It will really help you understand the anxiety, accept it and dissolve it.

http://www.mc2method.com/listen/

Rachel

sunnyjo
Posts: 98
Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2009 6:02 pm

Re: New job and high anxiety

Post by sunnyjo » Fri Dec 24, 2010 11:34 am

Thanks Rachel, will check this out.

I realised yesterday that I have been quite aggressive with questioning and inquiring all tied up with expectations.

Gentleness and love was missing.

"Accept what is." "I truly cannot. I am agitated and angry about this." "Then accept what is." "Accept that I am agitated and angry? Accept that I cannot accept?" "Yes. Bring acceptance into your non-acceptance. Bring surrender into your non-surrender. Then see what happens." - Eckhart Tolle [Stillness Speaks]
"We are the mirror, as well as the face in it"

Rumi

rachel100639
Posts: 99
Joined: Wed May 26, 2010 6:46 am

Re: New job and high anxiety

Post by rachel100639 » Sat Dec 25, 2010 5:49 pm

Yes, "Resistance to the disturbance IS the disturbance."

Post Reply