I just want to sit under a tree

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I just want to sit under a tree

Post by rachel100639 » Tue Apr 12, 2011 6:30 am

I have not been on here in a while. I miss it. I am still going through my major "transformation." Not sure what to call it. Incredible changes still occurring since last year at this time - job loss, bankruptcy, major illness, relationship loss (although this person is back in my life in a very different, loving and beautiful way now). I am having to simplify my life by letting go of my house and moving. Anyway, it still seems as though I cannot go back to how I was living before all this happened - job I hated, driven, chaos, etc..and I got so very ill because of it all.
I have been offered a few jobs this past year but it is as if something will not let me do them as I know they would be detrimental to my health on many levels. It is as if I literally cannot do them. Something stops me. What is it? Scary...because I have to make a living as my savings is dwindling. See, I have never experienced this before. I was always able to force myself to do stuff I hated...especially if I did not have any money! I am not sure what is happening to me. I feel very unmotivated which is very new to me! I just want to sit by a river, under a tree and listen to the birds. Really! It is strange. Sort of ethereal feelings and visions. I feel like I am being irresponsible but I can't go backwards, it seems. I feel in a real quandry. But I must slow down, be somewhere peaceful and quiet, be with people I enjoy, simple things. But in the short term, I am not sure what to do that will maintain my sanity. I do not know how to get from point A to point B.

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Re: I just want to sit under a tree

Post by fifi » Tue Apr 12, 2011 1:44 pm

oh go on and create something :lol: all that nice time in the now.... in fact just dont sit under the tree, paint it :D

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Re: I just want to sit under a tree

Post by Itay » Wed Apr 20, 2011 1:58 am

Namaste Rachel.
I find myself thinking of your tree from time to time, although not as much lately. It is a nice tree, isn't it? :wink: Being far away from it all, running away, having the ability to fly away, it all comes down to not being here, now. Please do try to be here, now, with me as you read this :roll: , since the nature of the egoic state is to disqualify anything that threatens it's "dominion over you".
I'm sure you'll come to terms with what is, and by doing so you'll see that the tree isn't, and will never be. It is a thought, an idea, that although by itself doesn't reject the now, it gives you the illusion that there is something better waiting for you, sometime in the future, or in an uncertain distance.
I ask of you to meditate, to find stillness. Once you find your inner peace, in accepting the now, things will be more clear.

My tree has an island, a garden, and fish near the shore, with a tiny hut. :D
The spirit in me respects the spirit in you.

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Re: I just want to sit under a tree

Post by Donna » Sun May 15, 2011 5:16 pm

Hi Rachel-

Are you still sitting under your tree? You are not alone.

I, too, had a very transformative year last year very similar to yours but I was lucky to not go through illness. Some "thing" has been guiding me to make decisions...some seem risky, but yet I did them and weirdly, as my friends stood by and watched, everything seemed to happen, in some ways, easily. I felt for once in my life I needed to trust an intuitive process. Not listening to outside voices which just try to feed fear can be difficult.

For me, when I create space from the noise (sit under the tree), some interesting stuff happens...like synchronicities or waking up in the morning with an absolute decision that "this must be done" and I feel the strong urge to do it, sometimes whether I like it or not.

I love listening to Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth". I found it in a library on CD's. I enjoy listening rather than reading the books. It's sorta like having a one way conversation with Eckhart...I don't mind if he does all the talking. :-) Anyway, the second half of the book deals with accepting the things we don't like in our lives, but moving through them by being present. Eckhart also speaks about life purpose and explains beautifully how primarily purpose is about "Being" while the secondary purpose is about "Doing".

I hope this helps.
~*~*~*~* I love to live and live to love. *~*~*~*~

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Re: I just want to sit under a tree

Post by ZenDrumming » Wed May 18, 2011 3:11 am

“Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water.”

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Re: I just want to sit under a tree

Post by lovestar » Fri May 20, 2011 11:52 am

i find sitting in trees very energizing, i love the oxygen and the energy trees transmit. i feel loved and relaxed by the wood and think its time well spent letting go and simply being. eckart says that until action can be taken, to sit in the grace of god. maybe sitting in a tree for a while can allow enough space to enter something else. goodluck with the job... maybe u might enjoy learning to meditate... and then this could become a job that could sustain you... just an idea.

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Re: I just want to sit under a tree

Post by Rick » Fri May 20, 2011 3:57 pm

Rachel, I do not blame you for wanting to avoid the hectic, rat-race existence that leaves little time to sit and just makes you sick. I get it. But you do need to make a living some how. In 1990 I was penniless, though, thankfully, I did have my parents motel to stay at with my son. I always loved finding treasures. When young I would explore the houses that my Dad bought to fix up and resell. I had a knack for reaching into dark places and pulling out treasure...i.e. an Atomic Disintegrator Cap Gun from the attic eaves, a diamond ring from under the butchers sales counter etc. My grandmother loved antique/junk shops and I learned to as well. I never really had any money to buy the really cool stuff but once in a while I could. I also had, as I said, a knack for just stumbling upon stuff...or sometimes it would find me. Anyway, 1990 I was penniless except for a few odds and ends I had accumulated. I got the idea to have a yard sale, sold a bunch of silly things and discovered that people just love to buy junk. Then I wondered where I could get more junk? A few days later I was driving through a near by town and saw some stereo equipment on the side of the road ready for trash pick-up. "Ah!" I thought..."here is more junk to sell". That was the start of my trash picking days. I could tell you story after story of the treasures I found and sold, of the broken pieces of furniture that I learned to mend and paint and sell, of discovering the flea market so I could sell in the winter time, of discovering that antique store owners loved to by from "pickers" like me, to learning about the marketplace and negotiating, to being asked to run a large Antiques Flea Market which I did for 5 years and learned what no school could teach me, to having several of my own antique stores and several partners, to finally owning a gold and silver buying business which I do now. I know, I know, this is all just a story about "me", but the point is Rachel, find what your God given natural talents are, usually you can tell these but what you love to do, by what you are naturally good at and see if you can some how make a buck or two out of it. Start where you are at and then put one foot in front of the other and see where what you love to do can take you. You do have to, after all, eat and sleep somewhere. And one more thing, I have always loved helping others. As a treasure hunter at heart, I have always seemed to know that there is Treasure within others. Being exposed as I am to the marketplace and the public, I am often in a place to be helpful. So, I get to hunt for Treasure on a couple of different levels. Who could ask for more? So there you go Rachel. Try it, you've got noting to lose.
Daily life IS spiritual exercise.

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