Eckhart Tolle on Monogamy?

This is the place to post whatever questions you have related to the teachings of Eckhart Tolle. The rest of us will do whatever we can to help you achieve a better understanding :)
Post Reply
Posts: 117
Joined: Thu Jun 25, 2009 9:13 pm

Eckhart Tolle on Monogamy?

Post by Learner » Mon Oct 03, 2011 7:27 am

Does anyone know if Eckhart has talked about monogamy and polygamy ever? I'd like to hear what he has to say about this. I've recently realized that like many other human mind-made stuff, it seems as though monogamy is ego-centric. We've created this concept that "my partner must love ME and ME only or my feelings will be hurt" and I'd really like to see him touch on this topic. I'm feeling like our traditional monogamy rules are actually very ego-centric. People in our current society label others as "cheaters" and demand that they be the ONLY person that has sex with their partner and is loved by their partner. It actually sounds pretty selfish and silly if you think about it. So what if I love 2 or 3 girls? As Eckhart Tolle says, our minds like to take things and make them "matter," and turn them into a problem. I feel like we've done this with the whole monogamy thing.

I'm not saying purposely going out on a mission to hurt your partner is okay, I'm just questioning it because I find it strange that I can't have true feelings for more than one person in this society because sometimes I really do.

Approach it with a clear mind please - remember awakening is about leaving the MIND behind.

Posts: 392
Joined: Mon Nov 30, 2009 12:40 pm

Re: Eckhart Tolle on Monogamy?

Post by 18andlife » Mon Oct 03, 2011 2:08 pm

Learner wrote:awakening is about leaving the MIND behind.
If that's your mandate then why not lobby for renunciation? Isn't the peace of not having a sense pleasure arise far better than the pleasure itself? Isn't it better to be cured of the itches altogether than to find ways to scratch in more than one place at once?

Posts: 81
Joined: Wed Apr 16, 2008 10:38 pm

Loving 2 or 3 girls

Post by Nutkins2 » Mon Oct 03, 2011 11:54 pm

Hi there Learner,

It's all very well in saying that we can love and have sex or just have sex with whom we like but isn't that why there are so many STI's these days. Young people having sex and abandoning all sense of sexual morality hasn't got people very far. And that is without the abortions that also happen because of unwanted pregnancies. The bible may sound a bit too strict but i feel that it served a purpose if it stopped people from going through all these things. And as St Paul says if you burn with passion get married as opposed to having sex with all and sundry.


Posts: 115
Joined: Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:57 pm

Re: Eckhart Tolle on Monogamy?

Post by azooo » Tue Oct 04, 2011 9:07 am

I suggest you read the books by Neale Walsch "Conversations with god." Book 2 covers the topic of sex specifically.

User avatar
Posts: 2533
Joined: Wed Feb 16, 2011 3:24 am

Re: Eckhart Tolle on Monogamy?

Post by ashley72 » Tue Oct 04, 2011 9:40 am


I found this reference while reading "A Course in Consciousness". It was in the Section - if there is no free will, what happens.

Scientists studying voles (rodent resembling a mouse) and human Swedish twins have discovered a gene variant involved in producing a hormone that affects monogamy in animals whereby men with two copies of the variant were twice as likely to have had a relationship crisis with their spouse or partner in the last 12 months as men who did not carry the variant (Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 2 September, 2008, available online at


Therefore, if this science is valid your gene pool may be a determining factor in whether or not you cheat!!! Therefore does "free will" play a role... maybe not :D

Consider this,

We can never find our own will (volition) in any action.  Every so called action is actually an automatic reaction of the mind with an accompanying feeling of volition. It is not 'me', it is the mind automatically going its own way! Simply watch the mind. Be aware of it. That's all that can be done because that is all we are doing right now. That is all we ever do. That is all we have ever done. It is the mind that thinks and feels otherwise and we are what is aware of what the mind thinks and feels. We are perfectly open, empty and still. We are not in space or time. We can never be affected in any way. We have no needs or desires whatever. We just shine brilliantly, effortlessly. :D :D :D

Posts: 101
Joined: Sun Oct 02, 2011 1:01 pm

Re: Eckhart Tolle on Monogamy?

Post by rontant » Tue Oct 04, 2011 9:43 am

I don’t recall ever read or hear Eckhart specifically talk about monogamy or polygamy but he did talk about relationship and the futility of the expectation that may come with it. It would be futile to expect anyone to be able to make us happy for life. So I guess what he was saying is that anyone who enters into any relationship and wishes to avoid disappointment in the future should keep in mind that it is delusional, or maybe absurd, to have this kind of expectation.

Monogamy may appear to be ego-centric but if you step back a bit and look at it from the social historical perspective, you might see that it was necessary to ensure survival of human beings as a species. I am sure you would agree that being a single parent is not easy even in modern days like now. Can you imagine how tougher would that be during the time when human beings still lived in caves? Isn’t it right that certain species of animals whose off-springs take relatively longer period to grow up to be independent tend to be monogamous too?

Anyway, who knows… maybe a few hundred or a few thousand years from now, monogamy will be a thing of the past. Do you see any trend?

User avatar
Posts: 235
Joined: Sat Jun 04, 2011 2:53 pm

Re: Eckhart Tolle on Monogamy?

Post by far_eastofwest » Sat Oct 08, 2011 8:36 am

its the maths of it - very basic, ratio thing, just doesn't work

every man who has more than one partner is using someone elses share/opportunity for a partner.
imagine every man had two women.... be pretty hard as only 50% of the men would be able to do this due to approx equal numbers of male females.
The other 50% of the men would have to be happy with watching dr phil and masturbation.
There is nothing harder to find than a black cat in a dark room
Especially when there is no cat....

Posts: 101
Joined: Sun Oct 02, 2011 1:01 pm

Re: Eckhart Tolle on Monogamy?

Post by rontant » Sun Oct 09, 2011 7:40 am

far_eastofwest wrote:every man who has more than one partner is using someone elses share/opportunity for a partner.
This is only true if the women were taken in captivity. Owned, possessed, controlled ... no sharing permitted. So you see, there are various schemes: monogamy, polygamy, polyandry, or free-for-all where there's no marital institution and both men and women have equal freedom to have multiple sex partners, etc etc...

Post Reply