After beating a big fear up

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After beating a big fear up

Postby imago dei » Mon Nov 19, 2012 12:04 am

Hi all,
i already wrote about my story in another thread, btw i'd like to ask you: have you ever beated a big fear, a phobia??? How do you live now??? For many years of my life i was totally ruled by fear of people's judgement, rejection -definitely loveliness- it was really disabling, i couldn't work nor go out from home. I was also obviously extremely unhappy and depressed. I faced it anyway, and now i've also moved to abroad (once i couldn't even imagine to do something like it).
Sometimes i wonder: can i ever lose all i gained, my courage, my inner strenght??? And when i spend much time isolated, at home for exemple or through the woods, i ask myself :"Can i ever turn back and be the scary person i was??"...i was scary as hell, i couldn't say a word, i felt like in a "bubble"...that's hell on earth, really. I don't know if it ever happened to any of you. I became a friendly person, lovely i'd say, this is my real being. I've changed location, nation, now i'm always "among stranger people", i should be scary, shouldn't i???
Ok, i might sound silly, but i needed to tell my story.
Thank you for the attention!!
Know thyself.
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Re: After beating a big fear up

Postby kiki » Mon Nov 19, 2012 2:36 am

I've changed location, nation, now i'm always "among stranger people", i should be scary, shouldn't i???


The fact that you aren't says something, doesn't it? So who would say you "should" be scared? Really - who is the one that would be afraid of something? The one that declares you "should be scared" comes from a fraudster, an impostor, the mentally created "me". Without that me intruding there is no fear.
"Miss Kelly, perhaps you'd like this flower. I seem to have misplaced my buttonhole ... Miss Kelly, you know, when you wear my flower you make it look beautiful." Elwood P. Dowd
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Re: After beating a big fear up

Postby imago dei » Mon Nov 19, 2012 10:52 am

kiki wrote:
I've changed location, nation, now i'm always "among stranger people", i should be scary, shouldn't i???


The fact that you aren't says something, doesn't it? So who would say you "should" be scared? Really - who is the one that would be afraid of something? The one that declares you "should be scared" comes from a fraudster, an impostor, the mentally created "me". Without that me intruding there is no fear.

That sentence was a bit ironic, i was referring to the fact that my old identity would be scared in a situation like this. It's not easy to traslate a concept in a foreign language.
No, i'm not afraid, i go everywhere and i don't feel anxiety, i don't have a fast heartbeat....it's almost unreal for me, coz once i couldn't even say a word to my neighbour and i always walked looking at my feet.
No places in the world can scare me anymore, right???
Thank you :)
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Re: After beating a big fear up

Postby kiki » Mon Nov 19, 2012 2:38 pm

No places in the world can scare me anymore, right???


I understand that you aren't fearful now. The point I was emphasizing is that fear is a function of a personalized viewpoint, the viewpoint of the "little me", of the mentally created ego - your old identity. When you are functioning without that ego identity fear is absent. Awakening marks the shift away from that old identity, when ego is seen for what it is and that egoic identity withers away. What's left when that happens? The clarity of being, your true nature. If/when fear returns it's an indication that you have drifted back into the trap of thinking and into egoic identity again, even if it's just for a short time.

No places in the world can scare me anymore, right???


Only from the personal viewpoint of the egoic identity, never from the viewpoint of impersonal true nature.
"Miss Kelly, perhaps you'd like this flower. I seem to have misplaced my buttonhole ... Miss Kelly, you know, when you wear my flower you make it look beautiful." Elwood P. Dowd
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Re: After beating a big fear up

Postby imago dei » Mon Nov 19, 2012 3:35 pm

kiki wrote:
No places in the world can scare me anymore, right???


I understand that you aren't fearful now. The point I was emphasizing is that fear is a function of a personalized viewpoint, the viewpoint of the "little me", of the mentally created ego - your old identity. When you are functioning without that ego identity fear is absent. Awakening marks the shift away from that old identity, when ego is seen for what it is and that egoic identity withers away. What's left when that happens? The clarity of being, your true nature. If/when fear returns it's an indication that you have drifted back into the trap of thinking and into egoic identity again, even if it's just for a short time.

No places in the world can scare me anymore, right???


Only from the personal viewpoint of the egoic identity, never from the viewpoint of impersonal true nature.

That's very clear, thank you for the beautiful explainations.
I can never forget that the present moment is all we have, and it feels like heaven, tough lots of doubts still come to my mind. I guess it's normal, ego/the mind's funtion is working and working and working, i'm aware of it. I still think about useless things, but i KNOW that here and now is everything......i was so desperate in the past, i didn't live for one single second of my life, that i SHOULD wake up....I repeat many times a day "here and now, here and now"....nobody can take it away from me, it's the only good thing i learnt in my unhappy past.
Thank you :)
Know thyself.
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