Losing presence outside home

Topics related to physical, emotional and psychological forms of pain and suffering

Losing presence outside home

Postby starting » Wed Nov 13, 2013 4:24 pm

I want to say thank you for you all. Since I joined this community, I am stopping with my bad thoughts and for some periods I am able to think about things other than my suffering. Before I start to write and read these posts, I was so focused on my mind/suffering that I was not able to see anything else…

But there is an issue that I don’t know how to resolve and I would like some advice from you. It’s been almost 3 months that I am “locked in my house”. I think for 4 or 5 times I went out for some reason…When I am outside, I count the minutes to return home.

The emotional pain “shines” every time I go to do something outside. I only feel better when I am at home. It is not like a "phobia", but sometimes, the bad feelings are intense during these moments. I feel like I do not know how to apply what I am learning now.

Thank you
“Your life is in transition from a caterpillar to a butterfly. Something may be saying: `Where is my leaf?’ Don't fear. Trust. All is well. How auspicious that Grace has picked you up like this. Hold this gratitude inside your heart” ~ Mooji
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Re: Losing presence outside home

Postby Ralph » Wed Nov 13, 2013 10:51 pm

My advice is face the outside world by bringing presence to your day to day experiences especially outside the home. See if you can catch yourself every time you lose this presence by getting lost in your mind which triggers you to get back to your place of safety (your house). Investigate this.

The good news is that your true home (presence) has no inside and outside.
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Re: Losing presence outside home

Postby smiileyjen101 » Thu Nov 14, 2013 12:47 am

Good advice Ralph.

Starting, if you search Ashley's threads he's discussed his experiences with sensations arising and how he has learned to face them, embrace them and let them go.

This topic may help - viewtopic.php?f=10&t=11782&hilit=Ashley

If I may on the first page of the Being Human thread it details all the sensory information our brain is processing and trying to hang onto or make sense of - the reality is its exponential, seriously mind blowing :D The other reality is that by the time we have processed it, it's changed. We do become somewhat accustomed to the sensory stimuli in our 'homes', stepping outside of that there is a smorgasbord of stimuli that our brain seeks to 'identify', and an over-active (fearful) ego will interpret 'danger' and react defensively in the confusion or sensory overload. The more we believe these reactionary thoughts, the more energy we put into them. The more we interpret frights into fears, fears into phobias its really just subscribing to a particular interpretation of stimuli in ever changing motion - some based on similar combinations of stimuli that have already been 'sorted' into good/bad

- eg: seeing, smelling, feeling on your feet or shoes a pile of dog poop 'frames' the experience and our reaction into a 'snapshot' that links into myriads of other 'snapshots' where we have made a judgement 'freeze frame'. Our brains search through the libraries of freeze frames to make continual sense of our place, level of safety etc through what we've learned and experienced. These then become beliefs and we react unconsciously.

In reality - dog poop (and every thing) is just a combination of elements that have found or are finding their way back to earth through a complex process of combining elements, flowing through a biological process back to its source, however that's not how the ego sees it - the ego might take 'offence' at the smell through infinite scent reception (and I mean that literally - our scent receptors uptake infinite combinations of 'scent' and we 'name' very very few of them); through tactile receptors - squishy or lumpy or wet or whatever, sounds and sights the capacity of which is detailed in the Being Human thread. However what happens is the ego 'judges' this as good/bad, flows through the libraries - may find a memory of 'disgust' or offence, punishment or shame or fear, and attaches these to the experience.

If you think about a toddler who has not developed these 'interpretations' dog poop is just another squishy funny thing :wink:

So multiply this by all the combinations of energy and elements available and the ego can have a field day.

Two things I would suggest -
All is well :D

A judgement is just a perspective held onto, a perspective is just our brains trying to take a 'snapshot' of stimuli in motion.

The first page of the Being Human thread I hope will amaze you into gratitude and generosity (love) for your senses and give you some 'space' in your experiencing and sensing.

Thread here - the combinations of sensory information available, I just felt would be helpful for people to appreciate.

viewtopic.php?f=38&t=10594
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
http://www.balancinginfluences.com
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Re: Losing presence outside home

Postby starting » Thu Nov 14, 2013 10:42 pm

Hi Ralph, thank you.

Ralph wrote:See if you can catch yourself every time you lose this presence by getting lost in your mind which triggers you to get back to your place of safety (your house). Investigate this.

I will investigate it carefully, but I think I am associating some external things with the “imagined reason” of my suffering and every time I see some specific things/people/scenarios I feel it again.


Hi Smiileyjen,

Thank you very much. I read the first page of your post Being Human and it is really nice :)

I will read again the Ashley's post but maybe it is a good idea to practice these positive affirmations and see how it works for me.

Maybe this will also help me in the choices/decisions I have to do from now on. It seems that it is difficult to make decisions when you are under negative emotions. Sometimes I lose opportunities because I do not know what to choose. It never ends – sadness – options – doubts – fear – sadness…and I finished in my “comfort home” that actually is not comfortable anymore..

Those posts are really good I will read one more time to learn everything. I really want to change my frequency :)
Thank you again!
“Your life is in transition from a caterpillar to a butterfly. Something may be saying: `Where is my leaf?’ Don't fear. Trust. All is well. How auspicious that Grace has picked you up like this. Hold this gratitude inside your heart” ~ Mooji
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Re: Losing presence outside home

Postby smiileyjen101 » Fri Nov 15, 2013 2:28 am

:D Starting

Here's an exercise for you of your own creating :D

Read, feel, notice the energy in this...
It seems that it is difficult to make decisions when you are under negative emotions. Sometimes I lose opportunities because I do not know what to choose. It never ends – sadness – options – doubts – fear – sadness…and I finished in my “comfort home” that actually is not comfortable anymore..


(hugs) gee that's pretty tightly wrapped around you cloak of separation and 'darkness' and 'heaviness' isn't it? Slow you down? Absolutely!!

How about this...

Thank you very much. I read the first page of your post Being Human and it is really nice :)

Ah gratitude and generosity combined YUM!! Off goes the cloak, on goes the light, wide goes the expanse of you :D

So the thing is when one closes down of course one feels separated, powerless, in the dark etc... what tends to happen if we start to believe this is we get smaller and smaller in our awareness, we turn down our energies and power as if they are finite and can run out.

If instead we see/feel this closing down, we can become aware that we are drawing the cloak around ourself - tuning out the vastness of all oneness. We can be absolutely okay with that - we can snuggle into it and have a lovely snooze and regenerate our energies, or even hibernate if we want and we can do this in any environment noisy, busy, fractious or calm, gentle any time any where.

Or we can throw off the cloak and 'look wider' shine our light for perspective of gratitude and generosity. We don't 'have' to, we don't 'need' to - we can, if we choose, whenever, wherever for whatever.

We and all things of nature naturally open and close, shine and dim,

In fear though we both close down and fear that we are closing down and then fear what closing down means - fearing we will never open up again.
Others fear the same of opening up - fear they will get lost in the expanse and energy of it and never again rest.

Whereas opening up and closing down happen as naturally as day and night, winter and summer, 'this too will pass' and within all of them there are a vast range of 'experiences', overlaps etc

Yes, if you want to open up and expand, or close down and rest - gratitude & generosity can bring a different 'okayness' appreciation and acceptance that this is not permanent - then you can be okay at home, or abroad :D
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
http://www.balancinginfluences.com
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Re: Losing presence outside home

Postby starting » Sat Nov 16, 2013 6:37 am

Thank you Smiileyjen :)

I am grateful for today, It was a beautiful day, some sad thoughts and feelings did not abandon me, but my mind is “quiet” :D
“Your life is in transition from a caterpillar to a butterfly. Something may be saying: `Where is my leaf?’ Don't fear. Trust. All is well. How auspicious that Grace has picked you up like this. Hold this gratitude inside your heart” ~ Mooji
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Re: Losing presence outside home

Postby itisallsubjective » Sun Nov 24, 2013 11:08 am

I see it like this : You have no time frame, you have literally forever...so all you need do is have a bias(intent) toward 'presence' and things will fall in to place either tomorrow or in 10,20 years. Who cares about this time frame ? The ego of course will make you feel you need it now and the earlier the better but that is only the insignificant 'little me' talking in you. ;-)
The key is to not feel 'bad' or 'good' just notice what you do and how you react to things. Emotions are the truth testers, be in touch with them and you get an accurate reading as to where you are.Keep that intent and all will work out without a doubt. No solider is left behind.
Let go of control :-)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Qptyt0-S9U
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Re: Losing presence outside home

Postby starting » Mon Nov 25, 2013 4:17 am

Thank you itisallsubjective, for your words and for the video :)
“Your life is in transition from a caterpillar to a butterfly. Something may be saying: `Where is my leaf?’ Don't fear. Trust. All is well. How auspicious that Grace has picked you up like this. Hold this gratitude inside your heart” ~ Mooji
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