What do I do?

Topics related to physical, emotional and psychological forms of pain and suffering

What do I do?

Postby Z3N » Sat Jan 25, 2014 9:30 pm

I feel like I'm in limbo, I see no joy in life, I feel no happiness, just a blah feeling, nothing. I've tried to go back, tried doing the things that used to make me happy, that I used to enjoy, but it doesn't work anymore, it's useless. I'm just here doing nothing, no idea what to do. I don't even know if any of that makes sense. What do I do here? Cause I'm lost, and tired. Help?
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Re: What do I do?

Postby Webwanderer » Sat Jan 25, 2014 9:57 pm

Get out into nature. Look for beauty, it's everywhere. Find things to appreciate - lots of things - flowers, kittens, sunrises, new growth, blue skies, starry skies, everything has beauty in there own ways - even ideas. "I like the idea of... clarity of being... of hugging a friend... of the feeling of love... etc." Keep it simple. Focus on what you want and the way you want things to be, while being okay and accepting of the way things are. Things will change in time.

Let go of your resistance and judgment. It can do little good and will only cause you pain. Why focus on pain when you can focus on beauty and appreciation? What feels better? What do you want more of? There's no need to be hard and critical of yourself. That only adds to the pain. And it's only true to the degree you believe it. Find new ways to perceive your life experience. Find new truths to believe and live through. It's a choice that you can make. You can make it intentionally, or by default to your present conditioning. Either way it's up to you.

WW
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Re: What do I do?

Postby rideforever » Sat Jan 25, 2014 10:02 pm

The blah feeling is probably a numbness. When you are numb then nothing is meaningful because you are not feeling anything; actually inside you are turning away from everything ... trying to run away, but there is nowhere to run to.

If you can relax a little an open up to this blah feeling, just gently allow it to grow and grow in you ... and sink into the centre of it as if it were a bath you were getting in to. And merge with it totally. No need to think; just ... feel. Then I would expect you will start feeling some things, perhaps pain or upset, and you will see that it was indeed a numbness (avoidance of feeling).

And then knowing that it is an avoidance of feeling, you will be able to work forwards by going in to those feelings.

This is an educated guess, I hope it means something to you. I know that this situation happens to many people. It is as if there has been a change in you, but you are trying to go back to the old ways of living ... but those doors are closed and you must move forward on an unfamiliar road.
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Re: What do I do?

Postby Z3N » Wed Jan 29, 2014 2:43 am

rideforever wrote:The blah feeling is probably a numbness. When you are numb then nothing is meaningful because you are not feeling anything; actually inside you are turning away from everything ... trying to run away, but there is nowhere to run to.

If you can relax a little an open up to this blah feeling, just gently allow it to grow and grow in you ... and sink into the centre of it as if it were a bath you were getting in to. And merge with it totally. No need to think; just ... feel. Then I would expect you will start feeling some things, perhaps pain or upset, and you will see that it was indeed a numbness (avoidance of feeling).

And then knowing that it is an avoidance of feeling, you will be able to work forwards by going in to those feelings.

This is an educated guess, I hope it means something to you. I know that this situation happens to many people. It is as if there has been a change in you, but you are trying to go back to the old ways of living ... but those doors are closed and you must move forward on an unfamiliar road.



I think your educated guess is probably about right, though I've been trying this and nothing is really coming up. But turning away from things, running away from problems is probably a more honest way to put it, is exactly my style, no reason for me to think I haven't been doing the same with emotional stuff. I think my main motivation in all of this is just a general fear of life, emotions, my own mental and physical health, I just want to get out of the whole thing, not because maybe it's illusion and I want truth or I'll be happier, I think I'm just scared of it all, and I don't know if its true, but I think having that as my primary motivation is probably helping to actually keep me in the illusions, dream state what ever you wanna call it.

I remember hearing adyashanti say something along the lines of, if you're hiding from anything, this isn't for you, you don't get to cut corners, you have to face it all... I'm hiding from alot I think :lol: I have to laugh, my entire life is so full of fear now I can't even live it beyond continueing existing, and that's about it. It's crossed my mind that at some level I might be trying to make my life so unbarable, so scarey that I just give up and let go due to the inevitability of it all. Wouldn't that be nice lol. :shock:
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Re: What do I do?

Postby rachMiel » Wed Jan 29, 2014 5:11 am

Z3N wrote:It's crossed my mind that at some level I might be trying to make my life so unbarable, so scarey that I just give up and let go due to the inevitability of it all.

In other words committing a kind of ego suicide, ja? Tricky. You don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater.
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Re: What do I do?

Postby Z3N » Wed Jan 29, 2014 7:13 am

rachMiel wrote:
Z3N wrote:It's crossed my mind that at some level I might be trying to make my life so unbarable, so scarey that I just give up and let go due to the inevitability of it all.

In other words committing a kind of ego suicide, ja? Tricky. You don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater.


I'm not sure what you mean by ego suicide. I dunno, I think I meant like putting myself in a situation where the only thing worse than doing *what ever*, is not doing it. Was just a passing thought.
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Re: What do I do?

Postby rachMiel » Wed Jan 29, 2014 7:29 am

I used ego suicide to mean doing away with your ego, small self. Good to hear that's not what you were trying to do.
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Re: What do I do?

Postby rideforever » Wed Jan 29, 2014 9:26 am

It's okay. You can be a bit more relaxed about it; it doesn't have to be so black and white. Just begin the process of turning around. Your honesty will be of tremendous help to you. Just feel what you are feeling.

You will see, I think, that all your juice and liveliness will be released if you go into your avoidances.
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