Feelings of always bothering people

Topics related to physical, emotional and psychological forms of pain and suffering

Feelings of always bothering people

Postby jazzercast » Fri Aug 15, 2014 2:30 pm

HI Guys,

After my first post I feel like I have made so much progress with dealing with my mind and the trouble I have had over the past few years.
You all have been so helpful and the ET book A New Earth has helped more than anyone will ever know.
I been trying to get my head arund this problem, I'm a guitarist, I write my own music and play covers of jazz standards.
At the moment I do a fair bit of gigs and they are fun but not what I really want to be doing, I want to be playing my own songs with a mix of jazz standards that I love so much.
Now heres the thing:
Whenever I think to organise a rehearsal for an up coming gig I always have the heavy weight of bothering my friends, I have a classic voice or story that is they are sitting around they get a text from me about a rehearsal, they look at it maybe roll there eyes and think/say "oh what does he want" man it suck I've got a text from him" "I'm playing with so many peopel that are much better and it a real pain and a hassel to reply or do the rehearsal/gig, "he's just playing jazz guitarist" " he's not the great" ans so on and so on.
So cheers universe or who ever for giving me such a wonderful brain with such wonderful thoughts that come right at the right time just as I want to do the thing that I'm most passionate about, THANKS!!! (joking)
So I've spent about 15-20 mins stairing at my phone with this kind of stuff in my head just as I'm about to call my drummer, I end up texting him instead to avoid the bother in his voice that I'm expecting to hear because Im calling and it's a pain that I trying to organise.
Ok so hopefuly you get the idea, it also happens when I get a text about cancelling a rehearsal or ching a time, all I imagine is a story that has them finding someting better and joking about getting out of this sucky rehearsal and being relieved amd when they want to change the time it like "something else has come up, they look in there phone, and think Oh dam I have this rehearsla with this guy who isn't very good and I'm only doing it to for him' "Why does he bother, he's not very good"
OK so I'm so over this, I can get past this as I have the one thing I found to kill this thing and it's courage but I want to know why I think this? What is wrong with me to think this about myself? I mean seriously, Having thought like "Why do you bother? leave it to the guys who can really play" you're know good" I'm sorry buy Fuck that! Fuck that, I puch on and kick it in the face and it turns out to be the weakest of the weak when I;m at rehearsal it all goes away mostly, I'm on top of it and I'm very confident. Btw I am very good and do beleieve in my self and my abilities, I would love just to not have this shit in my head the week of a rehearsal, It's like my head wants me to just sit around and watch movies becuase like I've heard in my head "It's all your good for" "your no good and never will be good at anything, you weren't meant to". Fuck that, I will kill this and be good as I am in spite of it as it will regret ever crossing me.
Cheers guys.

P.S: RIP Robin Williams - Thank you for making my childhood so great and making me want to grow up and be a funny person. A true loss.
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Re: Feelings of always bothering people

Postby Webwanderer » Fri Aug 15, 2014 11:35 pm

Don't ask people as if for favors. Leave others the freedom of their own choice and decision. Rather than "will you come over", ask if 'they have an interest' in getting together. Maybe they do, maybe they don't, but it leaves the choice with them. That's not a bother, that's an inquiry that they may be happy to participate in. Tell them what your planning, when, where, etc., see what they choose. Make sure they feel free not to join in if that is their preference.

WW
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Re: Feelings of always bothering people

Postby dijmart » Sat Aug 16, 2014 4:21 am

Webwanderer wrote:Don't ask people as if for favors. Leave others the freedom of their own choice and decision. Rather than "will you come over", ask if 'they have an interest' in getting together. Maybe they do, maybe they don't, but it leaves the choice with them. That's not a bother, that's an inquiry that they may be happy to participate in. Tell them what your planning, when, where, etc., see what they choose. Make sure they feel free not to join in if that is their preference.

WW


Sound advice, as usual WW.
Take what you like and leave the rest.
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