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Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 5:30 pm
I read A New Earth earlier this year, and I was pretty much constantly present for a while, and then my pain-body was triggered by my older brother, and I (my ego?) told myself that I needed to go back down to his level in order to raise him up. Since then I have been almost completely lost in thought. I feel as if my ego has merged with my subconscious.
Now my thought process goes something like this.
That's a thought-Don't analyze it-That's a thought-Just observe-that's a thought-I can't stop thinking-that's a thought
Occasionally, I'll have small glimpses of presence, and then I'll think, holy crap I'm doing it! and then I'll think, that's a thought-don't analyze it-just observe-I can't stop thinking.
And I feel like I'm going insane at this point.
Posted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 5:42 pm
jojopogo22 wrote:and then my pain-body was triggered by my older brother, and I (my ego?) told myself that I needed to go back down to his level in order to raise him up. Since then I have been almost completely lost in thought. I feel as if my ego has merged with my subconscious.
Consider it a lesson learned. It's unlikely going 'down' to another's level will result in anything but your experience of the lower level. Don't get all freaked out about it though. Just get back to those things that bring a higher quality experience. What are those things? Whatever feels better than where you are. Not so much physically, but emotionally. Walk the path of better feeling thought and presence. Rest in feelings of appreciation. Let your brother be who he is. Who knows? He may come your way. He may not. Love and accept him as he is; channels of communication have a better chance of opening.
Posted: Fri Oct 31, 2014 10:23 am
I used to have the same problem you did. The best way to deal with this is just keep going in life...keep reading The Power of Now... and study stillness speaks.
Eventually you will slowly raise in conscious will power and be less noisy with your thoughts.
As for what is happening....your mind is seeking presence as if it is something that the mind (the mind itself) can imitate or act or play as a role.
Just stop thinking for a 20 seconds....and then go back to thinking. Practice this at least once a day and you will grow stronger trust me.
It is like exercise you cannot be present or free of the mind over night. Life, age, and growing take it's toll for you to be more powerful and gain enough consciousness to become present.
As for the anger.... your mind will feel a hatred towards other people, it gets angry because people are not living or doing what you believe "think" they should be doing or acting.... It's basically judging.... and it's part of the insanity of being possessed by thought.
Presence is when you are watching everything but not thinking about it or labeling it or trying to forgive something out.... Hence it's a watching or perceptive looking but not thinking.... you just observe with your eye sight (the eyes are in my opinion where the most consciousness is at ) Look, listen, but don't think or offer an opinion or try and describe the experience to your self.
Presence is hard to obtain because consciousness needs enough will power or presence to be strong enough to raise above thought. It takes awhile and lots of re-reading Power of Now and Stillness speaks. Study those books, if they don't make sense, just try and grasp what does make sense, relating to your mind, psyche and body.
Goodluck buddy, hope my pointers helped.