Frustration

Topics related to physical, emotional and psychological forms of pain and suffering

Frustration

Postby anonymousUser » Sat Aug 06, 2016 9:04 pm

What's the best approach towards frustration (=resistance?)? How to force myself into acceptance?
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Re: Frustration

Postby Webwanderer » Sun Aug 07, 2016 12:04 am

Be okay with feeling frustrated. As you said, it comes from resistance. Feel what it's like to be okay with what frustrates you. Then focus on the the feeling of hopefulness that you will get beyond it. Bask it it a while. Then move on to confidence that life will be okay. Finally appreciate. Go here often. Enjoy it. The more things you appreciate, the more things to appreciate will be drawn into your life. It can be too big a jump from frustration, anger or depression to love and appreciation. Walk it up one step at a time. Feel each step and you can find your way to freedom from feelings you don't like.

WW
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Re: Frustration

Postby anonymousUser » Tue Aug 30, 2016 5:29 pm

Ok, thx.

But what if it's the meditation that frustrates me? I'm also very fearful by nature, if that matters.

It's (quite) easy (in a way) to accept when there is nothing I can do. It's much harder when I know I could easily end the frustration. When my mind yells at me: "Do this! Quickly, before it's too late! Hurry up!" but my body doesn't really feel inspired to do so (unless you count that frustration as inspiration, but it doesn't realy feel like that).

I want to stay centered. I don't want to get lost in Maya/conditioning. That's why I try not to act on frustration. I try to trust my body's feelings of inspiration (although I may not always read it correctly). I try to rest as awareness and let go. Que sera, sera - whatever will be, will be. But sometimes it's just too much to take it. At least in a way. I'm searching for my inner way, for balance - through trial and error.

I don't know when it's good to stay and let it be, and when it's good to act (on frustration). I experiment. To some degree I avoid - or cooperate/follow - frustration. Otherwise I might have not even get up from bed. Not that not getting up from bed would be a bad thing. That would be just very frustrating.

EDIT: I've just realized what is underlying. I want 2 things:

:arrow: Both feeling connected with my family (and also other people)
:arrow: And keep the feeling of being connected with myself
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Re: Frustration

Postby ashley72 » Fri Sep 02, 2016 12:52 pm

It's all feedback! If you missed it last time you'll see it next time! :wink:

Once you realize deeply the significance of the loop... You will laugh & chuckle at it all.
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Re: Frustration

Postby anonymousUser » Sun Sep 11, 2016 2:53 pm

ashley72 wrote:It's all feedback! If you missed it last time you'll see it next time! :wink:

Once you realize deeply the significance of the loop... You will laugh & chuckle at it all.


So...when to give positive feedback and when to give negative feedback? What to ignore and what to act on?
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Re: Frustration

Postby meetjoeblack » Tue Nov 08, 2016 5:00 am

I think "force" is likely part of the problem. If I force myself to do something, it feels like a fight rather than actual choice. I always notice if I let myself feel whatever it is, I usually notice it subsides or at the very least, it is not as amplified. If I resist it, it makes it worse especially as feelings like resentment, anger or others take root.
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Re: Frustration

Postby dijmart » Fri Nov 11, 2016 4:13 am

meetjoeblack wrote:I think "force" is likely part of the problem. If I force myself to do something, it feels like a fight rather than actual choice. I always notice if I let myself feel whatever it is, I usually notice it subsides or at the very least, it is not as amplified. If I resist it, it makes it worse especially as feelings like resentment, anger or others take root.


Yes, resistance makes it seem worse, as thoughts come more rapidly, it also can cause over "reactions" that may not have happened without resistance.

I will share that pain is flowing "in/to" me (awareness) right now. I didn't cause it and I can't control it, it will cease when it's ready, but my job as the "person/jiva" im associated with is to do whatever action is necessary on my part and not resist what comes although the thoughts associated with the pain can heighten it momentarily. What comes will go... that's the same for pain and pleasure. They are objects appearing to you (awareness). As the jiva this is hard to accept, if you don't know who you are, even if you know who you are pain is painful...until is dissipates and it always does.

This too shall pass!
Take what you like and leave the rest.
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Re: Frustration

Postby meetjoeblack » Sat Dec 03, 2016 4:57 am

dijmart wrote:Yes, resistance makes it seem worse, as thoughts come more rapidly, it also can cause over "reactions" that may not have happened without resistance.

I will share that pain is flowing "in/to" me (awareness) right now. I didn't cause it and I can't control it, it will cease when it's ready, but my job as the "person/jiva" im associated with is to do whatever action is necessary on my part and not resist what comes although the thoughts associated with the pain can heighten it momentarily. What comes will go... that's the same for pain and pleasure. They are objects appearing to you (awareness). As the jiva this is hard to accept, if you don't know who you are, even if you know who you are pain is painful...until is dissipates and it always does.

This too shall pass!


It does not seem to when in the trap of frustration. For instance, it could be health complications, relationship or lack there of relationship, life circumstances, work or other. It passes only for the next damn thing to emerge. It is very tricky. I have had fortunate moments of peace or what I could only describe as my own version of enlightenment which is of course short lived. My ego flairs up sooner or later or life provokes me.
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Re: Frustration

Postby dijmart » Sat Dec 03, 2016 8:20 am

It does not seem to when in the trap of frustration


Here I believe your referring to me saying it always dissipates. It does, dissipate that is, unless you keep "whatever" alive by feeding into it (believing it, reliving it, rehashing it, etc). Another words, if you won't let the bothersome stream of thinking burn itself out, then yeah, it will plague you and make you suffer.

I guess I should have said, for me, it dissipates. If its something preticularly troublesome, it may take hours or a few days for it to totally burn itself out, but it does always burn itself out, eventually. It depends how much attention and energy i give to the thoughts and if there's any problem solving that needs to be worked through. Even if there is, I know ultimately it is just Mithya, only "apparently" real.

Needless mind chatter, I can usually swat away like a pesky fly, but give me something more annoying or concerning and the effort seems to increase.


I have had fortunate moments of peace or what I could only describe as my own version of enlightenment which is of course short lived. My ego flairs up sooner or later or life provokes me.


Right, it's tough, you have to discriminate between you (awareness) and MJB. You think you are MJB having glimpses of awareness. But actually you are awareness, aware OF MJB. He arises within you, you are associated with him, he exists, but he's not real. You (awareness) are always present, always. What makes you identify with the thinking mind is that you think it's you! You haven't yet come to realize that fundamentally you are awareness and having said that you are nondual. So, the person you appear to be is also awareness, but only as so far as it is made out of awareness, but you are not it. As no object (which the person is!) Can in any way define you, pure awareness, the substratum of all that exists.
Take what you like and leave the rest.
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Re: Frustration

Postby meetjoeblack » Sun Dec 04, 2016 5:11 am

dijmart wrote:Here I believe your referring to me saying it always dissipates. It does, dissipate that is, unless you keep "whatever" alive by feeding into it (believing it, reliving it, rehashing it, etc). Another words, if you won't let the bothersome stream of thinking burn itself out, then yeah, it will plague you and make you suffer.



I listened to a video with Allan Watts on the secret of life. He says the trick is to be full present when working and to view it simply as play. It makes thinking about working till retirement a little bit more peaceful. lol

I guess I should have said, for me, it dissipates. If its something preticularly troublesome, it may take hours or a few days for it to totally burn itself out, but it does always burn itself out, eventually. It depends how much attention and energy i give to the thoughts and if there's any problem solving that needs to be worked through. Even if there is, I know ultimately it is just Mithya, only "apparently" real.

Needless mind chatter, I can usually swat away like a pesky fly, but give me something more annoying or concerning and the effort seems to increase.


With dating, I find myself in states of unproductivity. It is a fine line between genuine, open, and honestly invested. I am also taking your advice and being okay with my freedom. I suspect when it changes (if it ever does lol), I will miss my freedom.

Right, it's tough, you have to discriminate between you (awareness) and MJB. You think you are MJB having glimpses of awareness. But actually you are awareness, aware OF MJB. He arises within you, you are associated with him, he exists, but he's not real. You (awareness) are always present, always. What makes you identify with the thinking mind is that you think it's you! You haven't yet come to realize that fundamentally you are awareness and having said that you are nondual. So, the person you appear to be is also awareness, but only as so far as it is made out of awareness, but you are not it. As no object (which the person is!) Can in any way define you, pure awareness, the substratum of all that exists.


I have only had glimpses of this but, it is the rare instances of peace I've ever only known. Without it, it would seem bleak and hopeless. Its kind of ironic. With mortality, it is all hopeless so, our worries, fears, and concerns are technically unfounded since we are doomed to meet our demise at some point.
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