Anger overwhelms me

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Anger overwhelms me

Postby Avager » Thu Feb 09, 2017 2:48 pm

Hi everyone!

I write this post as I've noticed some strange behavior in me.

Since I started to read Tolle and spirituality, I've been able to controll myself much more. I don't get upset (or even if I get upset, I can control and "watch it") over things, when someone in traffic is an "idiot" and almost makes me crash I don't react, when people go in front of me in line I don't get upset etc. You know, I simply has become more peaceful and I've experienced big changes in my life.


But still, there are some moments. And I am kind of afraid of them.
It feels like when the anger "takes over me" and I identify myself with it nowadays, it really takes over me really badly.

Example:
I just wanted to cook a new dish and went to the store for groceries. I've always had really bad self-confiedence about cooking and after going around in the store for like 10 minutes and basically not buying anything because I didn't get what is on the list, I went home and started to write to my girlfriend on Facebook how much I hate cooking and how I am not capable of anything. She started to tell me stuff like "oh you just need to try etc etc", which made me even more angry, I wanted to tell her that I hate her and I threw my phone in the ground.

I threw my 900 dollars phone hard in the ground.
Because of COOKING.

I always have gotten upset over this, but not THAT much.

This was just an example, but when you see what this ridiculous old pattern can make me do, I am really afraid that I will do something extremely stupid when I get into a situation with for example a person that I have strong, old emotional ego-centric patterns with.
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Re: Anger overwhelms me

Postby Webwanderer » Thu Feb 09, 2017 7:39 pm

If you resist getting angry, the resistance will likely cause a build up of energy that looks for release. It's kind of like an earthquake. The greater the resistance, the greater the quake when it breaks loose. Often when someone gets on a spiritual path there is a belief that authentic human emotions are somehow wrong and show a lack of spirituality. That's simply not the case. Emotions are our guidance system when we are engaged with the everyday challenges of life.

Honor them regardless of what their message is. Your, our, true nature is one of love and appreciation. When our thinking, assumptions, and meanings concerning our life events is not in alignment with that Essential love and appreciation, our emotions tell us in terms of adverse energy we identify as pain. Whether it be anger, depression, frustration, sadness or whatever in terms of painful experiences, it's just part of the guidance system we have while we explore the endless possibilities of life. There is nothing wrong here. Even our self-judgment is but a way to explore the human experience.

The more you look to your painful energies as assets on the path to the evolution of your consciousness and being, the less intense they will likely be. Remember, they are hear to help you not hurt you. Learn to appreciate all emotions as the genuine gifts that they are. As you do so your life experience will change in a way that you will surely enjoy.

WW
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Re: Anger overwhelms me

Postby Onceler » Fri Feb 10, 2017 12:51 am

I went through a notable and discreet period of anger. It lasted about three months and never really went away during this time, just smoldered. It would just break through sometimes and I would become enraged. In retrospect, I believe it was all the anger I had suppressed all my life by presenting as a 'nice guy' coming out. I'm not as afraid of anger anymore. It can be quite useful at times.
Be present, be pleasant.
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Re: Anger overwhelms me

Postby Avager » Fri Feb 10, 2017 12:07 pm

Webwanderer wrote:If you resist getting angry, the resistance will likely cause a build up of energy that looks for release. It's kind of like an earthquake. The greater the resistance, the greater the quake when it breaks loose. Often when someone gets on a spiritual path there is a belief that authentic human emotions are somehow wrong and show a lack of spirituality. That's simply not the case. Emotions are our guidance system when we are engaged with the everyday challenges of life.



I understand completely and agree with you on the earthquake matter. That is actually exactly how I feel.
But I am not resisting it (or maybe I do?), I am more of... accepting that it is there. Just like Eckhart Tolle writes in his books, I am "watching it", getting conscious of my anger. And eventually it dissappears, eventually it don't, but isn't the point to not identify with the anger, so it doesn't "become" you?


Webwanderer wrote:Honor them regardless of what their message is. Your, our, true nature is one of love and appreciation. When our thinking, assumptions, and meanings concerning our life events is not in alignment with that Essential love and appreciation, our emotions tell us in terms of adverse energy we identify as pain. Whether it be anger, depression, frustration, sadness or whatever in terms of painful experiences, it's just part of the guidance system we have while we explore the endless possibilities of life. There is nothing wrong here. Even our self-judgment is but a way to explore the human experience.

The more you look to your painful energies as assets on the path to the evolution of your consciousness and being, the less intense they will likely be. Remember, they are hear to help you not hurt you. Learn to appreciate all emotions as the genuine gifts that they are. As you do so your life experience will change in a way that you will surely enjoy.

WW


I am familiar with emotions being the guidance of our true being, but you are welcome to explain on this a little more.


And this is confusing me to most:
If anger is my emotional guidence, does it not mean that I should stop thinking/doing something that makes me angry? And even if not stoping with what I am doing , should I not "watch" the emotion/get conscious of it, to break the identification? And doing that has lead to these "earthquakes".
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Re: Anger overwhelms me

Postby Webwanderer » Fri Feb 10, 2017 10:12 pm

Two people can experience the same event. One may get angry, while the other is unaffected. Why is that? My sense is that it is the meaning each individual applies to the event. Now this may not at all be a conscious matter, or it might. The meanings we apply are the seeds of our beliefs. Some beliefs are so deeply ingrained that we no longer recognize them as such. We just have an automatic response that can often surprise us. By consciously choosing a new meaning for a painful event, one that works for us in a better way, we can change the experience we have. It takes a little practice and considerable diligence but over time is quite effective.

One source I enjoy exploring these days is the teachings of Abraham. Very clear and consistent. Here's a link to one teaching that seems to apply directly to your concerns. I think you will find it enlightening. Enjoy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2tMu95JCqA

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