death of ego and depression

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Re: death of ego and depression

Postby mistral » Fri Jan 30, 2009 9:26 pm

Hi all you Sweet Shining Lights!,

Yes, and my friend William Samuel wrote a whole book about finding that Child within ...and how much we do become like kids at Disneyland! Living again, coming alive again... Yes, from your post here, I gather that you must be dancing in The Same Meadow as William dances in...nice stuff here..

You might enjoy this too:

http://www.williamsamuel.com/11-1-07-Co ... 0Child.htm


Thanks you all so much for all of your contributions...

Much Love and Dancing, Mistral
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Re: death of ego and depression

Postby goldenbirdies » Sat Jan 31, 2009 3:51 pm

eputkonen wrote: This is like discovering life is a game or a dream and then loosing all interest, motivation, etc. On the other hand, if one realizes it is a game or a dream, one could enjoy it and make the most out of it. Really get into the game or dream...instead of rejecting it.


Spot on ! And taking it a step further, the knowledge it is a game or dream makes it even more enjoyable... as ultimately it doesn't matter if one "succeeds" or "fails", just enjoy the game :)

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Re: death of ego and depression

Postby eagle2phoenix » Tue Feb 03, 2009 3:52 am

Help me! I slid down into my little dark hole of depression on Saturday and now it is becoming worse as I am experiencing body aches, shoulder aches, chest pain, headache. It's been 5 months since I was last employed, being medically boarded out of Shell for depression. My ego gets the better (or more correctly the worse) out of me. I feel blue, weepy, cranky. I have been on medication for the last 5 years.

I know it is my ego that is causing me this pain. But why am I taking so long in learning to live as a light being? I know I am here to learn to recall, to be who I am, but my ego and thoughts always trips me over. At times, I even doubt my real self and think it is my ego pretending to be me. I feel I am in my own hell right now. I look out the window, look at the trees, listen to the birds chirping, to the silence behind it all. I can see the beauty and wonder of all things. Yet my ego (shall I give it a name and talk to it?) finds a way to deceive me in my life. Now I sound like I am fighting with my ego, which I am not. Maybe my ego is the eagle and the phoenix is my true self, the yin and yang. Will this make me a more complete person?

I just want to go away somewhere to be alone...

eputkonen wrote:Who said you have to live with NO EGO?

The ego is not the enemy and something that should be rid of. The greatest of teachers still had an ego...or else they would not answer when their name was called. One can not answer to a name without some ego. One can't function in the world without some ego.

The point was never to be totally rid of the ego...the point was not to be fooled by the ego. If one identifies with the ego and is fooled by it, then there is suffering...life is problematic...etc.

Actually, because you things as problematic ("issues")...that is ego. Who, but the ego, could have problems or issues?
Unfortunately, you seem to be taking an idea to the wrong direction...that is "I have little motivation to do much of anything----even leave the house." This is like discovering life is a game or a dream and then loosing all interest, motivation, etc. On the other hand, if one realizes it is a game or a dream, one could enjoy it and make the most out of it. Really get into the game or dream...instead of rejecting it.
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Re: death of ego and depression

Postby Tara » Tue Feb 03, 2009 3:11 pm

mistral wrote:Hi all you Sweet Shining Lights!,

Yes, and my friend William Samuel wrote a whole book about finding that Child within ...and how much we do become like kids at Disneyland! Living again, coming alive again... Yes, from your post here, I gather that you must be dancing in The Same Meadow as William dances in...nice stuff here..

You might enjoy this too:

http://www.williamsamuel.com/11-1-07-Co ... 0Child.htm


Thanks you all so much for all of your contributions...

Much Love and Dancing, Mistral


I read the excerpt and enjoyed it. Would you recommend buying the whole book? I feel myself trying to "be" a child again but I can't seem to "release" it as I was shy and kind of closed off...but I do remember a few refreshing and freeing experiences. Would love to read more of William Samuel.

I have a 20 something "adult"/child who has high-functioning Autism and since I have been the one to research, mostly take care of him etc I see when he is happy. Now others, relatives and society say he needs to grow up, get a job, be responsible etc...which some of this he has tried and he turned into a depressed, mean spirited negative person. When he is left alone to just "be" he is like a happy kid living just for this moment. I would much rather be around that type of person...but he is now married and society says to grow up, support yourself and wife, be different...what is the answer??

eagle2phoenix wrote:Help me! I slid down into my little dark hole of depression on Saturday and now it is becoming worse as I am experiencing body aches, shoulder aches, chest pain, headache. It's been 5 months since I was last employed, being medically boarded out of Shell for depression. My ego gets the better (or more correctly the worse) out of me. I feel blue, weepy, cranky. I have been on medication for the last 5 years.
[/quote]

I feel ya! I am or feel depressed and don't know why..I too look out my window and can sense the beauty of it all but can't get out of this funk. BUT I do realize something kind of new...my problems as such are in my mind and no one, spouse, friends etc or no particular situation or future longing is the problem or solution. It is MY thinking/thoughts.

Have you read Byron Katie's books? Used The Work?
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Re: death of ego and depression

Postby eagle2phoenix » Tue Feb 03, 2009 4:58 pm

Hi Tara, no I have not read Byron Katie nor am I into her, although I have heard of her and her work. All I know is that somehow depression is part of my awakening as I am always forgetting who I am and losing myself in the world. It is there for me to work on, to remind me that I am more than just body and mind. I will continue to have bouts of depression until I let it all go. A priest once told me "It's OK if you are not OK".

I also realize that I die everyday. Everyday when my ego gets in the way and I realize it, it dies. But then it manages to resurrect itself (can't fight it, it is imprinted in my blue print, my psyche) when I am least aware and kapow, I am in pain again. And the cycle goes on and on like the wheel of life, like the waves in the ocean, like the clouds in the sky, like the wind in the air. :wink:
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Re: death of ego and depression

Postby Webwanderer » Wed Feb 04, 2009 2:00 am

Tara, Mistral is our resident expert on William Samuel, and can better explain his reference to "the Child", but I have read him and recommend his books wholeheartedly. You will find that the Child is not a reference to the human expession of youth and childhood, but of our spiritual nature that perceives the human experience. Again I bow to Mistral's greater clarity on Samuel's depiction, as it's been several years since I read him.

WW
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Re: death of ego and depression

Postby mistral » Wed Feb 04, 2009 6:01 am

Hey Webwanderer, you explained very nicely in such few words about The Child that Mr. Samuel is speaking of (I lack succinct, it is a gift) ...thank you so much for that, and I appreciate that your read William's work 'those years ago'...and that you respect his work.

I don't think I can do much better than what you did here....you know it took William 400 pages to write about this Divine Child of us. His books are brilliant, at least I certainly think so...but then there is a 'teacher' for eveyone, and they all say the same thing, just a little differently....William said it in a way that my heart could hear.

Some may understand The Child as The Christ Consciousness, The Higher-Self, Self-realization or as others term it 'being awake to our True Identity. He calls It the Child because sometimes all those other words that imply 'enlightenment' make us feel like it is something unattainable or so 'spritually above us', or esoteric, or only for those who have studied certain things that we cannot seem to understand...The Child brings it home, down to earth, makes it Real and Ours...The Child Already Knows all about those 'certain things' like 'non-duality' and all the rest of it....So, we just find The Child and everything else that the Child Already Knows falls sweetly into place, understanding it all kinda comes with It ( sort of my way fo saying it) But nevertheless The Child is Real and It Lives in and AS Everyone of Us...It is The Light of Understanding Itself....It's right Here and Now.

William's first book is the most popular, it is more about the basics of 'metaphysical non-duality' or as he called in those days The Absolute. That book is titled A Guide To Awareness and Tranquillity

The 400 page book about the Child is titled "The Child Within Us Lives! A Synethesis of Science, Religion and Metaphysics" ...This he wrote at least 15 years after his other books...and a few years after he finished it, he died ( made his transition as the old 'absoluties' would call it, since Life does not ever die and Mind is Infinite and Ever Present and Child is Eternal)...I mention that because it seems to me The Child book was an extrodinary gift to us that he left behind for us to have now in these days that he knew were coming (he was quite prophetic)....oh, but I digress, as they say...

Anyway, here is a link to one William's excerpts from his book that describes The Child...
http://www.williamsamuel.com/01-27-09-c ... fchild.htm

That is just a few pages from the entire book, so this is not the whole of it, but I think it is a helpful description of what The Child is all about. William always would add this "There is a saying in the East that nothing has been read until it has been read twelve times"

And the Postscript at the very end of The Child Within book goes like this:

"Gentle reader, if any anywhere along the way, you have felt a stirring in your self while reading this volume, be of good cheer. That was the Child blooming again! What follows inevitably in your experience is the fruit and the seed."

"Now the reader is asked to begin rereading Book One immediatlely. Those twelve chapters will become clearer this time and you may feel that you are reading an entirely new book. With the second reading, the Related Papers can be read concurrently--as the reader chooses. You are then percieving your own insightful overtones, determined by your experience, you needs and your choice of readings. The book will be ever new--and your experience likewise. There are Mysteryies and Secrets contained in these pages, all of them related to the Divne Imprint already present in the reader's heart."

And it is true, many people over the years tell me that this book is like a new book every time they read it...And my own personal sense is that there really is something magical in that book... I am very grateful that I can share it with those who are sincerely interested in it.

Ok, for now...Much Love, and again, thank you Webwanderer, Mistral
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Re: death of ego and depression

Postby Webwanderer » Wed Feb 04, 2009 6:31 am

Mistral wrote:

Some may understand The Child as The Christ Consciousness, The Higher-Self, Self-realization or as others term it 'being awake to our True Identity. He calls It the Child because sometimes all those other words that imply 'enlightenment' make us feel like it is something unattainable or so 'spritually above us', or esoteric, or only for those who have studied certain things that we cannot seem to understand...The Child brings it home, down to earth, makes it Real and Ours...The Child Already Knows all about those 'certain things' like 'non-duality' and all the rest of it....So, we just find The Child and everything else that the Child Already Knows falls sweetly into place, understanding it all kinda comes with It ( sort of my way fo saying it) But nevertheless The Child is Real and It Lives in and AS Everyone of Us...It is The Light of Understanding Itself....It's right Here and Now.


That's beautiful. Thanks for using some extra words. This really brings it home.

WW
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Re: death of ego and depression

Postby Tara » Wed Feb 04, 2009 4:50 pm

Thank you, mistral! I am def going to get this book:)
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Re: death of ego and depression

Postby eagle2phoenix » Wed Feb 04, 2009 5:33 pm

Since joining this forum, I find that I am more present and that the darkness of my depression has lifted. The ego seems to have died or gone into hiding. Pain body is almost gone. I am grateful. The Power of Now.

Love & Light :D
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Re: death of ego and depression

Postby Sighclone » Wed Feb 04, 2009 7:17 pm

Welcome FrequencyHolder! Wow - lots of great responses!!

You say:
I'm currently unemployed and am in desperate need of a job, but I'm having a hard time living day to day life without the presence of ego. It's as though I've lost the primary motivating force in my life, and now I'm now I'm just sort of, well, stuck.


Ok...I'm going to give your ego a crumb. And maybe take the guilt away from your growth. Plan tomorrow. Block out four hours for job searching, and do it. Then just be. Get some text or download from Adya or ET or William Samuel or other nondualist. Meditate, go to the library, take a walk, but just allow the other 20 hours for your spiritual growth. Do this every day. Life will send you what you need.

Namaste, Andy
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Re: death of ego and depression

Postby mistral » Wed Feb 04, 2009 10:40 pm

Andy, you are so right...when we live with our hearts wide open in state of 'faith and trust' because we know without doubt 'who we really are' and that the 'world' is a spiritual place of learning....then we are lifted up by the peace and Joy that our,( little by little, here and there), recognition of Reality brings to us. There is a Real and Certain Divine Intelligence that is being this very sense of self we are and this self is nothing less than This Divine Self...and if we be a self right now (and we do) then we are being This Divine Self right here and now whether we know it or not. And this Self cannot leave us, It is who we are....Slowly ( I know, Identity needs no time or growth, It Already Is...and yet, it appears to take time and we do seem to grow wiser) so, slowly, precept upon precept, (as my fiend would say), as we put to practice these 'new visions' we become stronger and brighter and less and less who we believed were were, and MORE who we Really Are. ...each new insight brings newer insights and these unfolding glimmers light uncover within us our own unique gifts. We are not fearful of the world anymore and that helps in a million ways to bring prosperity. We become more capable, we challenge our selves to do things we thought we couldn't...the list is endless...We find the world, and our selves in it, to be more like a wonderful adventure, a marvelous Divinity School...and now we are willing to work at whatever comes to us to do "who knows what this new job might have in store for us!!?"... Willing to be surprised, knowing it will be Good, because everything we do is now is about giving what ever little bit of light we have to our world. We give our glimmers and glimpses in whatever way that might be...perhaps simply by being patient with someone today. Now we are not trying to get something, now we are giving....and as we give our selves at our jobs, to our families, to strangers, something wonderful will be given back to us and it may come to us in ways would never have anticipted, but ways that make perfectly delightful and very comfortable sense when they happen. Now, with this change of heart (trusting God is All in All) we don't care 'what we do' for our living but it is now about 'with what attitude we do whatever we do'...now you can be the happiest dishwasher there ever was, you can be the most content and fulfilled janitor to ever bless the office ....This is a joyful and rich state of being...You start to see there are angels everywhere...because, partly, we know that all situations in our lives are here to teach us 'who we are' to bring us closer to our Real Self. Our situations can be seen as blessings, even it they are just a good 'kick in the pants' that gets us to keep going on our 'spiritual search'.

Love, Mistral
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Re: death of ego and depression

Postby FrequencyHolder » Thu Feb 05, 2009 7:46 am

Thank you for your replies. I remember in reading A New Earth, that Tolle describes how the ego manifests and will cause one to try to 'diagnose' oneself. I find myself trying to do just that constantly, whether it be depression, anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, or plain out just being odd, weird, and abnormal.

Are there true diagnoses such as these? Are there any true mental disorders? Or is it all just ego? What about the delusional schizophrenic? Is that just severely manifested ego? Displaced pain-body?

Food for thought, and, of course, just generating more thought, but ah well, my ego can't resist.
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Re: death of ego and depression

Postby eagle2phoenix » Thu Feb 05, 2009 5:24 pm

Views from one who suffers from depression.
I think my depression is due to an assortment of factors - letdowns, failures, not knowing what to do, not knowing who I am, thoughts that I am not good enough (low self esteem, lacking in confidence), wanting a perfect world. It is about me (my ego) not being able to accept what is. It is about me not being able to communicate well (often tell the truth and say the wrong things) /work with people (personality clashes). It is about me being emotional and sensitive to what others say about me and my work. It is about my simplistic view of the world. It is about different people and different views. And it is my ego not being able to take it all in at times. It is about energy levels, both mine and others.

All these factors are probably mainly due to my upbringing (all the conditionings), my latent nature, my past lives and my soul purpose this lifetime. Some children are more sensitive than others. Some are happy go lucky, some are cry babies.

It is really creepy to feel the ego rising up when someone says something hurtful to me - the anger or hurt. At first I tell myself that it's all right. But slowly it plays in the mind and eventually I flare up and get all emotional. But I have to lock it down, pretend that nothing is wrong and put on masks. Over time it snowballs. Soon after energy depletes and all hell breaks loose. A breakdown.

In the past, I get paralyzed, cannot move. Totally unaware, totally lost.

Today, I get depressed but I am very aware of what is happening to me, and I cannot stop it. I just watch it. Sometimes it is so painful that I come down with aches and pains which are so real to me. Tense shoulders, tense eyeballs, tense head. I picture it in my head and see a hairy yeti. Now I have learned to love that hairy yeti instead of hating it as it is part of me and it is here to help me grow/evolve.

And while I know that I will be in and out of depression for a long time to come, it does not affect me too negatively. If it has to come, it has to come until I come to realization. Of what, I know not. :|

Do I make sense?

Totally confused
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Re: death of ego and depression

Postby Sighclone » Thu Feb 05, 2009 9:19 pm

Cetainly there are diagnosable disorders and treatment plans, both talk therapy and drugs, and in severe cases, electric shock treatment. But the disorders are disorders of the ego. These disorders may so severe as to have clear evidence in EEGs and other measurable brain functions. But as an intimate component of and ultimately merged with Source, none of them really impact You.

Now, that said, can you still suffer from a diagnosable disorder? Absolutely. On the day you self-realize, will you stop suffering? Well, that's what Buddha says. My experience is that the suffering can also decrease on the way to the final shift. Others here have agreed.

Namaste, Andy
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