Fear of Flying

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Fear of Flying

Postby Jogihevi » Wed Jun 03, 2009 12:04 pm

Hi all

The PON has been a great help to me, and my anxiety has reduced significantly. However, I'm due to take a 7 hour flight next week and I'm absolutely terrified! Although I know ultimately that the answers lie within me, rather than without, I'd still be interested in any advice or reassurance, particularly from those who have had a fear of flying themselves which they have been able to overcome with the help of presence.

Thanks

JGHV
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Re: Fear of Flying

Postby Webwanderer » Wed Jun 03, 2009 1:17 pm

Be willing to die. It's really that simple. Physical death is the doorway home. Take the mindset that if this is your time, why would you want to miss it. As an overview it also helps with general decision making throughout our lives. One of the reasons we fear death is the unconscious sense that we will be held accountable for the mistakes we have made in life. If we accept the innevitability of our own (physical) demise on a more conscious level, the choices we make on a moment to moment basis come from a clearer and more relevant perspective. Sit quietly for a time and get a sense of this. I think you will find that it helps.

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Re: Fear of Flying

Postby Jogihevi » Wed Jun 03, 2009 2:10 pm

Thanks WW. The problem is, my fear isn't a fear of crashing or dying in an accident. It genuinely isn't. It's a fear of being trapped somewhere (ie on a plane) from which I can't escape or make my way home.
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Re: Fear of Flying

Postby kiki » Wed Jun 03, 2009 2:32 pm

Be willing to die.


Precisely. Your situation reminds me of an old movie about the early days of World War II that is based on a real event. A group of Marine commandos are in route to a Japanese held island via submarine. All the other Marines are terrified of being underwater except one, and he is as cool as the proverbial cucumber. When asked how he can be so relaxed he responded something like this: Well, the way I figure it either the Japanese are in the area or they aren't. If they aren't I've got nothing to worry about. If they are then either they spot us or they don't. If they don't I've got nothing to worry about. If they do then either they find us and drop depth charges on us or they don't. If they don't I've got nothing to worry about. If they do then either they hit us or they don't. If they don't I've got nothing to worry about. If they do then I'll be dead and I won't have anything to worry about any more.

I don't mean to make light of your upcoming trip but there is a great wisdom in that Marine's approach to his situation. In a word, that wisdom can be summed up thusly: surrender. While on board that's all you can do really, isn't it, and why worry ahead of time about something you have no control over? What good does any apprehension do? It's the same with everyday situations as well - surrender to them. Being surrendered to the "little" things is good preparation for surrendering to those "big" things.

While composing my post you responded to WW, clarifying your predicament:

It's a fear of being trapped somewhere (ie on a plane) from which I can't escape or make my way home.


Notice how that fear exists for an imagined situation, something which hasn't even happened. You are dwelling in fear rather than in this very moment. Stay in this moment and let events unfold as they will. Meet whatever happens in surrender and do whatever is required at the time it arises. Your very nature has an intelligence which will allow you to act as however necessary.
"Miss Kelly, perhaps you'd like this flower. I seem to have misplaced my buttonhole ... Miss Kelly, you know, when you wear my flower you make it look beautiful." Elwood P. Dowd
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Re: Fear of Flying

Postby Webwanderer » Wed Jun 03, 2009 7:31 pm

Jogihevi wrote:Thanks WW. The problem is, my fear isn't a fear of crashing or dying in an accident. It genuinely isn't. It's a fear of being trapped somewhere (ie on a plane) from which I can't escape or make my way home.

Be willing to be trapped. This is not a suggestion to do something stupid. Travel, whether in an airplane, a train or a car is part of our everyday life. Realize also that where ever you happen to be is a natural occurance of the flow of life - based on circumstances and choices made. So long as you have made appropriate choices based on conditions at hand, be open to whatever happens. Stay alert and flexible, and enjoy the ride. If you feel a sense of fear, it's okay. Be curious about it and watch as it flows through you. There are opportunities here to explore your subconscious nature.

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Re: Fear of Flying

Postby karmarider » Wed Jun 03, 2009 8:47 pm

Jogihevi wrote:Hi all

The PON has been a great help to me, and my anxiety has reduced significantly. However, I'm due to take a 7 hour flight next week and I'm absolutely terrified! Although I know ultimately that the answers lie within me, rather than without, I'd still be interested in any advice or reassurance, particularly from those who have had a fear of flying themselves which they have been able to overcome with the help of presence.

Thanks

JGHV


The PON is life-changing, but it may not help you on your flight next week. It's a strange thing, but once people internalize the message of PON, they feel <i>guilty</i> about looking at other solutions. If this is the case, release the guilt. The PON's message is to develop passive watchfulness, and since the mind is in time, and the journey necessarily starts in the mind, it takes time. In the meantime, be open to other solutions.

I've had severe anxiety, stage fright, and claustrophobia--it's not necessarily a cognitive process. Nevertheless, some cognitive solutions like CBT and Byron Katie's The Work have been helpful to many. EFT has been helpful to many. Sedona Method, the release method I describe. The origin of EFT, if I'm remembering correctly, was an accidental discovery by a psycho-therapist counseling a patient with fear of water.
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Re: Fear of Flying

Postby zack » Thu Jun 04, 2009 10:17 am

This happened to me for 6 months ago too. My solution to the situation was to simply expect the worst and reframe it as a an enormous spiritual practice. Visualize your-self surrender to waves of enormous anxiety. Remember that Tolle often talk about Jesus on cross and how this surrender to suffering is the most direct path to presence.
And when the day came and I was sitting in the plane, a huge wave of panic came over me and I felt the pain in every cell of my body I thought about how lucky I was to have this spiritual practice. I had reframed it so strongly that I even didnt want it to be over. But sad enough it was over within a minute and the rest of the flight time was boringly uneventful :) . Flying doesnt cause anxiety any more sadly. Im trying to find other situation in my life that cause anxiety, but its getting harder and harder.

The thing is; is all about thoughts and reframing. Finding personal leverage. How bad do you want presence?

Good luck!

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Re: Fear of Flying

Postby Plorel » Thu Jun 04, 2009 10:01 pm

A group of Marine commandos are in route to a Japanese held island via submarine. All the other Marines are terrified of being underwater except one, and he is as cool as the proverbial cucumber. When asked how he can be so relaxed he responded something like this: Well, the way I figure it either the Japanese are in the area or they aren't. If they aren't I've got nothing to worry about. If they are then either they spot us or they don't. If they don't I've got nothing to worry about. If they do then either they find us and drop depth charges on us or they don't. If they don't I've got nothing to worry about. If they do then either they hit us or they don't. If they don't I've got nothing to worry about. If they do then I'll be dead and I won't have anything to worry about any more.


That made me laugh :D. Great answer.
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Re: Fear of Flying

Postby Sighclone » Fri Jun 05, 2009 7:50 am

My delightful wife bought me a sky-dive for a recent birthday. I'd never done that, and never really had a fear of flying, and wasn't afraid of this event. But I was going to be strapped to another experienced sky-diver. So we are scrunched together in this little plane and circling higher and higher. I lean over to him in the noisy cabin and say: "Hey Greg...if you have a heart attack as we are dropping like a stone, how do I pull the chute?" He looked at me with these big eyes and then laughed: "Nobody has ever asked me that in 22 years of doing this!! But it is a reasonable question." He showed me the pull cords which were a bit awkward for me to get to, but possible. We had an uneventful dive.

Andy
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There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce
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Re: Fear of Flying

Postby kiki » Fri Jun 05, 2009 4:59 pm

Wow Andy! I've always wanted to skydive. Will you be going again? Gliding in a sail plane is another thing I've always wanted to do.
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Re: Fear of Flying

Postby Sighclone » Sat Jun 06, 2009 12:28 pm

I will not be going again, largely due to the the discomfort and vertigo which I understand has to do with my 62-year old nervous system...same reason a kid can go on a wild circus ride and I can't anymore.

But, despite the discomfort, it was a great experience. Do it. Just find a local club and call them - might cost $120. There is a cool, kind of wild "corporate culture" in a group of divers.....

Glider rides sound like fun - thanks for the reminder...I'd like to do that also!

Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce
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Re: Fear of Flying

Postby Jogihevi » Tue Jun 09, 2009 11:26 am

Thanks for the advice everyone

After a lot of tears, soul-searching and indecision. And after reading lots of stuff about fear of flying (some helpful, some not so helpful!), I've decided that the best course of action is simply to get on the plane and surrender to whatever comes. I fly in approximately 24 hours...wish me luck :?
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Re: Fear of Flying

Postby Webwanderer » Tue Jun 09, 2009 1:06 pm

Good luck, and keep a sense of humor. Looked at with clarity, many of our fears can be released with a good laugh.

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Re: Fear of Flying

Postby Hand » Tue Jun 09, 2009 1:26 pm

Thanks kiki for that GREAT story, made me laugh!

Jogihevi - GOOD LUCK, you can do it.......hopefully when you accept where you are at that moment you will relax and enjoy it.
Life is. Accept Life. Peace reigns.
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Re: Fear of Flying

Postby kiki » Tue Jun 09, 2009 2:21 pm

Have a great trip, and make sure you tell us about your experience when you get the chance.
"Miss Kelly, perhaps you'd like this flower. I seem to have misplaced my buttonhole ... Miss Kelly, you know, when you wear my flower you make it look beautiful." Elwood P. Dowd
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