Social Phobia, Anxiety and Depression

Topics related to physical, emotional and psychological forms of pain and suffering
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Social Phobia, Anxiety and Depression

Post by Marcell » Mon Aug 17, 2009 6:01 pm

ok like many more i suffer from this stuff i try to meditate and be with my anxiety, it gets worse and tells me i need to stop the meditation, i can then feel the anxiety rising almost to panic including pain and a stiff neck and all that. but the more i sit and meditate and try to be with those feelings i can keep meditating longer. I even had a little moment of inner peace while meditating once, a feeling i usually only get the second right before im falling asleep. but my mind almost after 3 seconds of that inner peace right away searched for stuff in the past to make me feel guilty, anxious and full of shame again. i could watch my thoughts going like something like this: where did the anxiety go? oh there it is: all those messed up situation that happened in the past, and things i should have not done bla you know its game right? its almost like i have been with this for so long this constant heavy fear and anxeity in my stomach and chest, i cant seem to get rid of it lol the second i am at inner peace i keep looking for it, or well my mind does i guess.

its not like im only afraid and anxious in social situations thats an other big problem the social phobia. i cant even sit next to a person, my mind keeps bombarding me with thoughts about my self. And i get really scared of even having to talk to that person, its crazy, anyways... the normal state of anxiety im in all day long + the social problems and not being able to be around or close to other people got me pretty isolated, which gives me alot of time to be alone, going for walks, listening to audiobooks and try to figure stuff out and time to meditate - which aint that bad at all i think sometimes. But what im trying to say is that i do acceppt all this as it is, still i want it to change at some point and im kind of stuck. I dont know if i need more meditation practice or a maybe a cognitive therapy, would this be in the way of freeing myself from the Ego and these disrcutive thoughts about myself? I allways have been extremely shy and depressed I (my Ego) has very low self esteem and this big Ego that allways tries to compare with others and can never win lol and so on. I can see that and know the reason for it doing that but still im stuck with it, I do see it all as Ego, all my suffering and not being good enough compared to others all my Ego, but still it is there whats the next step ?

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Re: Social Phobia, Anxiety and Depression

Post by karmarider » Mon Aug 17, 2009 11:08 pm

All these that we consider problems have the same root cause. It manifests differently. In me, it has manifested as:

-anxiety, debilitating, panicky sort of anxiety or worry
-bouts of depression, which I can describe as the complete absence of love
-compulsive, obsessive thoughts about particular situation that should have gone a certain way
-using alcohol as self-medication
-creating drama in relationships
-shyness, lack of confidence, an expectation of failure

and much more. All these demons come from the same place. What has helped me is releasing and awareness.

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Re: Social Phobia, Anxiety and Depression

Post by kiki » Tue Aug 18, 2009 12:35 am

Hello Marcell, and welcome to the board. I would recommend you explore "releasing" that karmarider has mentioned. Look at The Sedona Method, a very affordable book that can be purchased at ... 187&sr=8-1

You can also explore karmarider's blog, which has some practical steps based on releasing.

"Miss Kelly, perhaps you'd like this flower. I seem to have misplaced my buttonhole ... Miss Kelly, you know, when you wear my flower you make it look beautiful." Elwood P. Dowd

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