This sounds a bit conflicted. You want to be harsh with them but you fear you might get friendly towards them. Can you find some middle ground? Some clarity beyond the emotions of fear and anger? Get a sense of who you are, and what you want for yourself - not in response to something this group may or may not do, but what you have chosen to be your new focus in life.EyesWideShut wrote:Thanks for the time WW.
1) Yes, maybe. Its not so much about rejoining them, but more that I might get overly friendly towards them as well. Which I dont want.
2) I think I want to be harsh, because I am indeed angry with them. And it feels that only if I tell them that I want nothing to do with them, I succeed the test of putting up boundaries. I hope im making sense here. It feels like if im answering their questions honestly, I have to justify myself, which I am quite sick of doing.
Being harsh, or tell people to back off, makes me indeed quite uncomfortable.... Even telling someone honestly that I have no interest in talking to them, makes me uncomfortable... I think because im afraid of what their reaction might be (what if they ask me "why not") and that they wont let me get away with my answer.
I'm not suggesting this is an easy task, but we all have challenges in life and this is apparently one of yours. Look on it as an opportunity to become stronger in being, not so much as in adversarial expression, but in being comfortable in your own skin in difficult circumstances. Alignment with your divine essence will guide you if you allow it. Know deeply what you want for yourself and act accordingly, you're under no obligation to bend to another's will for you.
As far as being afraid of what their reaction may be, that may be beyond your control. Better is it to be secure in your own choices and live accordingly. As you make mistakes, learn their lessons. Just remember that alignment through presence awareness is the key to quality decision making. You are a child of Essence. No ego, yours or another's, is a better guide.