Feeling Stuck

Topics related to physical, emotional and psychological forms of pain and suffering

Feeling Stuck

Postby InTheLight » Sat Oct 30, 2010 4:56 pm

Hello there,
I've been reading this forum for a few months, but I haven't had the nerve to contribute. I feel abit stupid talking about this on the internet as I don't trust many people. I've come to a point where I'm very despearate. I gave up being present about a year and a half ago and I realise now that it may be the only way I can get out of this life situation I'm stuck in.

I read the PON about 2 years ago when I was 15 years old. I felt a whole shift in me , and it was wonderful. But I couldn't keep it , as I have an identity with being ill. I've had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for 4 years, 3 of them I was housebound. Little more than a year ago I took a seminar on the Lightning Process, which is a neurolistic programming, hypnotherapy, life coaching thing. It is possible to get better in about 3 days to a month using the Lightning Process, although its really hard work. I started to get better but my dad put me in a situation where it was impossible to feel so positive and well. 6 months ago my dad was forced to move out of the family home by the social workers, I haven't and dont want to see him.

Ever since my dad left, my family have been much calmer and we are started to enjoy life. I started to go back to school this term, an hour a day. I thought that maybe going back to school would motivate me to start using the Lightning Process to get better. but I'm still feeling very depressed over what has happened. And I know I can be free of all this unnessecary suffering if I stay present. But whenever I do, It feels like my mind attacks me with the past, I feel really scared that someone else may react in some way to me being my true self because thats when my Dad caught me off guard and was abusive. I feel like the only way I can get better is by using the Lightning Process and being present, but I'm reluctant to do any of this. It purplexes me that my ego wants me to feel so ill all the time and at the same time desperately wants to get better! Hence, I feel stuck!
I'd really appreciate if anyone has any advice in how I can get myself out of this.
InTheLight
 
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Re: Feeling Stuck

Postby garuda » Sat Oct 30, 2010 6:48 pm

InTheLight wrote:Hello there,
I've been reading this forum for a few months, but I haven't had the nerve to contribute.... I don't trust many people. I've come to a point where I'm very despearate. I gave up being present about a year and a half ago and I realise now that it may be the only way I can get out of this life situation I'm stuck in....I read the PON about 2 years ago when I was 15 years old. I felt a whole shift in me....

I feel like the only way I can get better is by using the Lightning Process and being present, but I'm reluctant to do any of this. It purplexes me that my ego wants me to feel so ill all the time and at the same time desperately wants to get better! Hence, I feel stuck! I'd really appreciate if anyone has any advice in how I can get myself out of this.

Hi InTheLight, welcome to the forum!

Without knowing all the circumstances, it’s often hard to give accurate advice. We may empathize with your pain, from our own experience with it, but yours is very individual for you. You mentioned reading PON and feeling a shift.... then losing it later. Sometimes that old material surfacing, creeps back into our conscious awareness (or rears its ugly head from the subconscious) again after we have forgotten the wisdom we once read in the teachings/books.

So maybe re-reading the books again might help you to reconnect with that wisdom and become more focused again. The dynamics of the old material (conditioning) that causes your disturbances can often be complex and occasionally overwhelming. But sometimes instead of trying to escape it, we need to go through it directly. Face it and conquer it instead of letting it control us in fear and anxiety. It might be good to accept your deplorable situation as a necessary cleansing process to rid you of all that old ugly conditioning. Maybe view it all as a necessary healing process to clear the past stuff once and for all.

If the Lightning Process works for you, perhaps continue with that. But keep in mind that the pain and disturbances we interpret as suffering CAN be viewed as a “welcome house-cleaning” of all our past trauma from childhood. Somehow, it seems that when we accept or welcome this unwanted suffering, the suffering subsides to some degree.

Tolle says, that it’s our “resistance” to “what is” that causes much of our perceived pain and suffering. If your current disturbance is there now, accept it as "what is," and maybe even "what should be" at this particular time in your life --- if you are to ever discard the past drama. Reflect on this to see if it is true for you, then take the next step. Maybe try re-reading PON and then maybe “A New Earth.” If Eckhart resonates with you, stay with it, along with your other approaches/therapies. But always think POSITIVE and accept “what is” and the outcome will likely be a more favorable one, even if it doesn’t at first seem that way. And you must trust this "positive attitude" if it is expected to work for you.

Glad to have you here. And don’t be shy about asking questions and sharing your challenges. Welcome to the forum!
Recognize present awareness......... rest in that awareness..........don’t become distracted.
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Re: Feeling Stuck

Postby the key master » Sat Oct 30, 2010 7:45 pm

Waddup ITL. :)

I feel abit stupid talking about this on the internet as I don't trust many people.


Id probably be a wandering monk in the mountains if it wasnt for this forum haha.

And I know I can be free of all this unnessecary suffering if I stay present.


Or, from another angle, what you are is already free. When the mind "attacks you with the past", this is something unfolding within what you already are. This something is not really a something at all, but that which is aware of everything. There are thoughts that come and go, and there is that which is always here. Anything that comes and goes cannot possibly be you. Nothing can separate what you are from what is Now. This is where you always are and have always been.

So by staying present, really what we are doing is simply being as we always are. There are thoughts which cause depression which are arising within You. So see if you can put some space between what you are and that which is merely passing through. "Oh hi thoughts, there you are, nice to see you passing by within what I always am." In this way, the tendency to get lost in thought, and more importantly, believe the stories being told by thought, will begin to diminish.

Finding someone we trust and can talk openly with can also help us to see where we are still holding on to certain stories. It helps get our issues "out there" rather than all bundled up "in here".

And welcome to the forum!
--jason
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Re: Feeling Stuck

Postby Jman » Sun Oct 31, 2010 10:20 pm

InTheLight wrote:It purplexes me that my ego wants me to feel so ill all the time and at the same time desperately wants to get better! Hence, I feel stuck!


The egos driven by fear so it hates change. Anything that can endanger your illusory sense of self is going to be fought so its not surprising. I suspect the "I am tired" story is no different to the "I am unlucky" example Tolle uses. You believe it and the ego defends it but its merely a story nothing more.

In the same way a person who believes the "I am unlucky" story sees the bad luck and ignores the good. I suspect you notice when you're tired and miss any feelings of energy. I suspect a placebo effect also takes place the "I am tired" story probably causes physical symptoms in the same way it can trigger emotion.

Keep reading the PON and A New Earth try to observe your mind. Notice the "I am tired" story, observe any feelings of tiredness and see what happens. Since presence can dis identify you with the story then symptoms caused by the story should go away.
Whoever knows contentment will be at peace forever. - Tao Te Ching 46
That which offers no resistance, overcomes the hardest substances - Tao Te Ching 43
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Re: Feeling Stuck

Postby InTheLight » Tue Nov 02, 2010 3:29 pm

Hello! Thank you kind people for the replies,

I think Eckie is the way to go for me. I'm rereading PON, and although everything is not 'perfect', I'm feeling really ...content. :)

the key master wrote:In the same way a person who believes the "I am unlucky" story sees the bad luck and ignores the good. I suspect you notice when you're tired and miss any feelings of energy. I suspect a placebo effect also takes place the "I am tired" story probably causes physical symptoms in the same way it can trigger emotion.

The Lightning Process talks about this in a very similar way. They say that the brain is caught in this 'trap' where it thinks the body is 'ill' when actually the body is perfectly healthy. Its all about stopping these pathways in the brain and forming new ones about being/feeling healthy. I'll use it to solve what is going on in the present moment, if I want to 'solve' feeling 'ill' right now, I'll do the LP right now, as the effect is instant.

the key master wrote: Notice the "I am tired" story, observe any feelings of tiredness and see what happens. Since presence can dis identify you with the story then symptoms caused by the story should go away.

This is starting to happen. Right now, I'm just accepting these symptoms and observing them and they feel little by little they are reducing :)

garuda wrote:So by staying present, really what we are doing is simply being as we always are. There are thoughts which cause depression which are arising within You. So see if you can put some space between what you are and that which is merely passing through. "Oh hi thoughts, there you are, nice to see you passing by within what I always am." In this way, the tendency to get lost in thought, and more importantly, believe the stories being told by thought, will begin to diminish.

Really helped. There is still the urge to identify with the stories, and the ego puts up the illusion that it is really difficult not to, but its very easy to let them pass by. :shock: It also helps if I'm kind to myself!

Thankyou for reminding me of what I already knew (but I didn't)! :lol:
InTheLight
 
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Re: Feeling Stuck

Postby smiileyjen101 » Tue Nov 02, 2010 4:03 pm

wow inthelight - the future is in good hands with young ones like you being so conscious.

Well done already!
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
http://www.balancinginfluences.com
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Re: Feeling Stuck

Postby the key master » Tue Nov 02, 2010 11:10 pm

I just wanted to point out that the lovely points that ITL quoted actually came from JMAN, not me. :P

You seem to be coming along really well ITL. Keep up the good work, and dont be a stranger. :)

--jason
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Re: Feeling Stuck

Postby Patterns » Sun Nov 21, 2010 7:19 pm

InTheLight wrote:Hello there,
I've been reading this forum for a few months, but I haven't had the nerve to contribute. I feel abit stupid talking about this on the internet as I don't trust many people. I've come to a point where I'm very despearate. I gave up being present about a year and a half ago and I realise now that it may be the only way I can get out of this life situation I'm stuck in.

I read the PON about 2 years ago when I was 15 years old. I felt a whole shift in me , and it was wonderful. But I couldn't keep it , as I have an identity with being ill. I've had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for 4 years, 3 of them I was housebound. Little more than a year ago I took a seminar on the Lightning Process, which is a neurolistic programming, hypnotherapy, life coaching thing. It is possible to get better in about 3 days to a month using the Lightning Process, although its really hard work. I started to get better but my dad put me in a situation where it was impossible to feel so positive and well. 6 months ago my dad was forced to move out of the family home by the social workers, I haven't and dont want to see him.

Ever since my dad left, my family have been much calmer and we are started to enjoy life. I started to go back to school this term, an hour a day. I thought that maybe going back to school would motivate me to start using the Lightning Process to get better. but I'm still feeling very depressed over what has happened. And I know I can be free of all this unnessecary suffering if I stay present. But whenever I do, It feels like my mind attacks me with the past, I feel really scared that someone else may react in some way to me being my true self because thats when my Dad caught me off guard and was abusive. I feel like the only way I can get better is by using the Lightning Process and being present, but I'm reluctant to do any of this. It purplexes me that my ego wants me to feel so ill all the time and at the same time desperately wants to get better! Hence, I feel stuck!
I'd really appreciate if anyone has any advice in how I can get myself out of this.


First, thank you for posting. I understand it takes courage and you must really be at, or near, the end of your ropes. I appreciate it, and your honesty :)

I just have one thing to say here,

It purplexes me that my ego wants me to feel so ill all the time and at the same time desperately wants to get better! Hence, I feel stuck!


The problem here is there's no such thing as ego :)

As such, it doesn't exist in the first place, TO want you to feel ill all the time, while simultaneously desperately wanting it to get better.

There is a pull to be ill, while also feeling a pull to feel better. Thus resulting in confusion. There's no "ego" involved.

The story of "ego" is just a story that is being told in the mind over and over that you sit there and gaze at and then think "I am so stuck!!!!!!!" (a very healthy and reasonable reaction!)

Just watch the thoughts happening. Look for the ego, and see if you can find it.

Cheers.
Patterns
 
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Re: Feeling Stuck

Postby Wesley » Fri Nov 26, 2010 7:11 pm

In the light- Hence, I feel stuck!


Tolle uses an example of feeling unhappy. And he says, "okay, I'm unhappy. Let me be unhappy." And he opens his arms in acceptance.

Maybe that is like the feeling of being stuck. "okay, I'm stuck. Let me be stuck". The acceptance and allowance of that feeling that you feel in this moment, is what is asked for. As it is what is in this moment. It may be the resistance to feeling stuck that keeps it going.
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Re: Feeling Stuck

Postby Wesley » Fri Nov 26, 2010 7:17 pm

Patterns- Just watch the thoughts happening.


Yes.Tolle also say this. Watching thoughts. As that which watches thoughts is awareness.
Watching thoughts lead to not taking thoughts so seriously. Which means no problem.
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Re: Feeling Stuck

Postby InTheLight » Mon Nov 29, 2010 3:57 pm

Hello! Thanks for the replies,

I resist a lot of thoughts, feelings, energies and people. Perhaps this is what is supposed to happen, me being 'stuck', at this period in my life.
I'm not really stuck at all, just I think I am. In fact, I have made progress, I'm studying hard, I've started volunteering at a local charity shop, I'm giving my mum, brother and sister a lot of love and support (they are all suffering from depression),I've started doing exercise and I'm interacting with people in the real and virtual world. But that dosen't matter in the big scheme of things does it? Nothing matters , right? :shock:
Perhaps I'm trying too hard to be 'spiritual' , I'm trying too hard to understand all this complicated intellectual stuff connected with it. Why do some people say its simple but then others describe it as if its not? Maybe I'm too young to understand all this? :roll:
Acceptance feels good, I'm doing just that. Keep it simple. No more trying , too much effort.
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Re: Feeling Stuck

Postby Jman » Tue Nov 30, 2010 1:23 am

I've started doing exercise and I'm interacting with people in the real and virtual world. But that dosen't matter in the big scheme of things does it? Nothing matters , right?


It helps to look at things from two perspectives tolle calls these: inner purpose and life story.
exercising, interacting with people, studying etc are all part of your "life story" theres nothing wrong with having goals and ambitions and working towards them.

The problems occur when you identify with the story as this causes suffering because you then go through life feeling inadequate, discontent and experience everything as a means to an end. Another cruel twist is that even if you were to achieve the goals in your story the bar is automatically raised and you continue to suffer.
Living like that is madness, in 'The Fall' Steve Taylor suggests identification with ego/story is an evolutionary trait that emerged 6000 years ago that allowed humans to compete more effectively for resources in a harsh climate unfortunately the trait went global despite its nasty side effects on the human condition.

Evolution is inductive; in nature life does not evolve towards a good solution - it evolves away from bad circumstances. This can cause a species to evolve into an evolutionary dead end.
The trait of ego identification is an evolutionary dead end and thankfully its on its way out as more people awaken.

Inner purpose involves realising you are not your life story. When you understand this you can still have a "life story" but there is no emotional or mental investment in it, you can be content with what happens or aligned with the Now as Eckhart might put it.
Whoever knows contentment will be at peace forever. - Tao Te Ching 46
That which offers no resistance, overcomes the hardest substances - Tao Te Ching 43
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