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I'm in no man's land - help me get out!

Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2011 8:17 pm
by Riken
Hey everyone, I had another insight into my true nature last night, a profound silence just radiated everywhere, yet for weeks now I have been feeling stuck in a place I can only refer to as 'no man's land' because it is not a positive or negative state, it is very distressing .

Some of the attributes of this 'state' are -

1.Desires are no longer important in my life.
2.I've become anti-social, a subtle but strong fear of interacting with people I know is taking place.
3.I haven't done anything productive for weeks now.
4.My sense of self seems very thin, but there is still a sense of it clinging on as I find myself thinking "I should do....." "I want to do..."
5.My thought stream is tiny now, my mind feels empty most of the time.
6.I'm no longer thinking about the past, infact, I can't even hold images of the past in my mind for more than a few seconds at a time anymore.
7.My sense of humor is no longer... functioning I guess you could say.

I feel the need to clarify here, I am no longer in the egoic state of consciousness, I simply cannot deny there has been a profound shift as my perception has been turned seemingly upside-down.

This is nothing like Eckhart has described, there is peace, stillness, emptiness, but there is also a sense of someone needing to be out there in the world, being social and getting on with his University work which I just can't seem to face right now (not out of laziness, it just seems completely pointless.)

I can only imagine that either acceptance is key (which is not an option now, acceptance is the only thing that can happen), OR I need to find whoever is dissatisfied, find the 'I' .... I'm not sure, could this be an egoic backlash?

I'm bloody scared.

Re: I'm in no man's land - help me get out!

Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 1:49 am
by heidi
Stop judging yourself and enjoy the ride. You are not the one steering the ship - let go. Or as Carolyn Myss once said "Quit the BS and Let go of the steering wheel."

Re: I'm in no man's land - help me get out!

Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 5:53 am
by Sighclone
Actually Eckhart does reference a two-year period in his life where he did very little (on the park bench.) You may need something like that. On the other hand, perhaps some counseling with a nondual psychotherapist would be in order. Please PM me for a list. The list, however, is of professionals mainly in the USA. But they might work over Skype, etc.

Do remember that there is this form you have "wrapped around you" for lack of a better expression, and its main job is to help you to enjoy the beauty of life on this planet -- the nondual phrase for this is "lila in maya." You might also chat with Jac O'Keeffe, if you can reach her in Costa Rica, which is where she is spending the winter. You might even go there for a week -- check out "Leela Rica" on her website here:

Her fine book is called "Born to Be Free."

Accept the fact that your life has changed. Try a little neuro-linguistic programming: "What would I feel like if I actually appreciated this new peace?" That is a formal mental exercise. You do not have to actually like what is going on to go through the mechanical mental steps of imagining what it would be like to appreciate it-- it is a way of creating pathways in the brain, and it helps with accepting.

Fear is egoic. So some element of the ego remains. That's Ok because that is your truth today.