When the pain body grips you

Topics related to physical, emotional and psychological forms of pain and suffering

When the pain body grips you

Postby jackiegs » Sat Apr 23, 2011 2:25 pm

and the anxiety overwhelms, what do you do? I would find it so helpful to hear others' experiences, past and present.

I suppose I know that the only way is through the anxiety, in fact many years ago I did this and it led to a beautiful place within. At the time I kept a journal and the most difficult to write yet the most "revealing and helpful" words were "the thing I am most frightened of is myself...start to love you." This truly seemed like the beginning of my journey towards whatever is.

But, over the years I seem to have completely blocked any dialogue with myself and, more recently, my anxiety is triggered by colds and coughs (yes, the "common" ones!) and my fears around not being able to breath, or choking. It sounds trivial but what it sets off is far from trivial...I just want to run away from myself and I feel so alone and frightened, just as I did back in my early thirties.

I think ET talks about awareness of the pain body being triggered and I've been trying to develop this awareness in myself before the pain body takes over...however, I think I may be trying to block/avoid the anxiety rather than be aware of the thoughts I'm having or staying with the fear when it's at full force.

Any contributions/suggestions would be so welcome.

Thank you...Jackie
jackiegs
 
Posts: 22
Joined: Fri Apr 15, 2011 11:44 pm

Re: When the pain body grips you

Postby snowheight » Mon Apr 25, 2011 5:20 am

Jackie,

I hope someone with some depth of understanding or practice answers this post, in the meantime ... here goes.

jackiegs wrote: When the pain body grips you and the anxiety overwhelms, what do you do? I would find it so helpful to hear others' experiences, past and present.


Pre-Tolle anxiety was just a constant companion that I literally didn't notice until it was stopped two years ago ... that deep deep peace that I felt after reading TPON was actually a physical change. So when it creeps back from time-to-time now it is hard not to miss it. When this happens, looking back of these past two years, it would seem that the key is to confront head-on what the source of the inner conflict is and to recognize it's connection to the core delusion of identification with thoughts, the past, the story.

The last time this happened (and recently) was when it became clear that I was on a course to have to confront a bad actor in a business deal and/or suffer a financial loss based on what could be described as shady negligence on their part. WebWanderer posted a pointer about recognizing how judgment fuels anger ... that helped quite a bit, as did reflection on the idea that assigning "ownership" to thoughts or even actions is at core, a way of mis-identifying (... thanks enigma!).

jackiegs wrote: But, over the years I seem to have completely blocked any dialogue with myself and, more recently, my anxiety is triggered by colds and coughs (yes, the "common" ones!) and my fears around not being able to breath, or choking. It sounds trivial but what it sets off is far from trivial...I just want to run away from myself and I feel so alone and frightened, just as I did back in my early thirties.


To be blunt, let me ask you ... is it possible that this is based in a fear of death?

I have no fixed ideas on the topic of death and remain very skeptical of any formed beliefs on the subject (.... waves and hugs 'jen!). But having a better picture of who I am ... that which does not change ... this has allayed any existential fears that I once had. Don't get me wrong, the ego still serves the function of maintaining the body and the bank account, but now when I think of death, and particularly when I think of those that I have lost, I feel that same (thankfully, now familiar) deep sense of calm and peace.

Tolle says that "the trick is to die before you die and recognize that there is no death" ... I can't say whether I'm there yet (and yes, non-dual-speakists, I know that there is no there no more than there is an "i"), but I'm well on my way ... hope to see you along the road Jackie!
Stop talking. Hear every sound as background. Look straight ahead and focus. Take one deep breath. This is you. This is Now.
snowheight
 
Posts: 1941
Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2010 11:56 pm

Re: When the pain body grips you

Postby jackiegs » Mon Apr 25, 2011 8:20 am

snowheight wrote:Jackie,

I hope someone with some depth of understanding or practice answers this post, in the meantime ... here goes.

snowheight, I think that the someone already has :)
jackiegs wrote: When the pain body grips you and the anxiety overwhelms, what do you do? I would find it so helpful to hear others' experiences, past and present.


Pre-Tolle anxiety was just a constant companion that I literally didn't notice until it was stopped two years ago ... that deep deep peace that I felt after reading TPON was actually a physical change. So when it creeps back from time-to-time now it is hard not to miss it. When this happens, looking back of these past two years, it would seem that the key is to confront head-on what the source of the inner conflict is and to recognize it's connection to the core delusion of identification with thoughts, the past, the story.

The last time this happened (and recently) was when it became clear that I was on a course to have to confront a bad actor in a business deal and/or suffer a financial loss based on what could be described as shady negligence on their part. WebWanderer posted a pointer about recognizing how judgment fuels anger ... that helped quite a bit, as did reflection on the idea that assigning "ownership" to thoughts or even actions is at core, a way of mis-identifying (... thanks enigma!).

After a particularly anxiety provoking coughing fit yesterday I read some more Byron Katie and the words that grabbed me were along the lines of what if you were unable to think the thought you were thinking, which caused the anxiety. This is still mulling around in my head and it feels very relevant.
jackiegs wrote: But, over the years I seem to have completely blocked any dialogue with myself and, more recently, my anxiety is triggered by colds and coughs (yes, the "common" ones!) and my fears around not being able to breath, or choking. It sounds trivial but what it sets off is far from trivial...I just want to run away from myself and I feel so alone and frightened, just as I did back in my early thirties.][
To be blunt, let me ask you ... is it possible that this is based in a fear of death?

Yes, snowheight, that is very perceptive. It is. During the mid eighties when I went through what I call my beautiful few years, my mind would just empty at will. The peace and unspeakable beauty beyond the mind was indescribable and it was only when I began to "think" about that beauty that the fears of not being would resurface. However, I'm only just beginning to realise that this was the beginning for me and that my fearful mind, which actually is my greatest teacher and whom I cannot help but love, was going to reassume its place in the forefront of my life. Almost through default, my work has confronted me with life and death at every turn...over the past few years I've worked in a neo-natal unit, the mortuary and, currently, an eldercare ward. I've learnt a lot about the processes of dying but this is far removed from the actuality/fear of my own death.

Going back to BK, I tried some thought work last night...I began with "I am frightened I shall choke to death." When I reached the "turnaround" the thought "I am not frightened I shall choke to death" meant nothing to me. But, when I changed it to "I am frightened I shall NOT choke to death" it seemed to resonate more. Now, please let me assert that this has nothing to do with suicidal ideation. For me, destroying the body because of a mind matter doesn't make sense. But currently, I still have to let the turnaround mull around inside...it feels valuable in some way but, as yet, I'm not sure how.

I have no fixed ideas on the topic of death and remain very skeptical of any formed beliefs on the subject (.... waves and hugs 'jen!). But having a better picture of who I am ... that which does not change ... this has allayed any existential fears that I once had. Don't get me wrong, the ego still serves the function of maintaining the body and the bank account, but now when I think of death, and particularly when I think of those that I have lost, I feel that same (thankfully, now familiar) deep sense of calm and peace.



Tolle says that "the trick is to die before you die and recognize that there is no death" ... I can't say whether I'm there yet (and yes, non-dual-speakists, I know that there is no there no more than there is an "i"), but I'm well on my way ... hope to see you along the road Jackie!

Yes, snowheight, I too love that quotation. And, well, currently there appear to several of me, of I, and probably of someone else too. I'm a million miles from anything even vaguely resembling non duality, but I suppose we all have to start somewhere.

Thank you so much for the understanding, compassion and true humility that you have shown in your post


I am so sorry for the format of this post...I tried to highlight and to colour and I've done neither successfully and I can't seem to undo my attempts!
jackiegs
 
Posts: 22
Joined: Fri Apr 15, 2011 11:44 pm

Re: When the pain body grips you

Postby snowheight » Mon Apr 25, 2011 11:01 am

jackiegs wrote:I am so sorry for the format of this post.


No worries Jackie I was able to read it just fine.

Here is another recent thread that I think you might find useful ... please pay particular regard to kiki's 2nd post about halfway down the page. Every now and then a refresher on this from someone walking the walk can help us stay on the non-path.

kiki wrote:Set aside some time each day (15 to 20 minutes, twice a day if possible) to sit down with eyes closed and just observe the flow of thoughts (if you can't find time during the day then try this as you are laying in bed at night waiting for sleep to come). Just watch them, paying close attention to their arising and dissolving. During that period give yourself permission to dismiss the truthfulness of every single thought - your sole purpose is to watch them and not to assign meaning or give them any kind of judgment. Just watch.


I am very grateful for the perspectives that are presented on this site. I hope that they can help you.
Stop talking. Hear every sound as background. Look straight ahead and focus. Take one deep breath. This is you. This is Now.
snowheight
 
Posts: 1941
Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2010 11:56 pm

Re: When the pain body grips you

Postby ashley72 » Mon Apr 25, 2011 1:55 pm

The Mind is unconsciously identified with its mental image (the Ego). If the Mind is left to its own devices it can’t see through the illusion because the mind objectified the illusion in the first place. It took these protective steps, and there was no catastrophe. The Ego tends to believe that these steps "saved" it from a catastrophe. This thought makes the Ego worry more about "the next time". It convinces itself that it is terribly vulnerable and must constantly protect itself.

Work this exercise:

Next time Anxiety arises
First, witness your body.
Feel the way your anxiety sits in your body.
Feel the shape of it.
Witness the way your mind, body and thoughts are reacting to the sensation of anxiety.
Allow your thoughts to come and go as they please – whatever they may be. Simply observe. Don’t response to them.
Staying conscious whilst anxious is necessary to see through the illusion, so be diligent in maintaining your awareness by becoming deeply rooted within your body.
Allowing the anxiety to be as it is, witness the watcher.
Shift your consciousness so that more of it is witnessing the watcher than the anxiety. Simply allow the anxiety to be as it is.
Observe.
Notice how the watcher simply allows your thoughts to be. It requires nothing. Whether fast, slow, critical or neutral the watcher simply watches.
Now imagine a feeling of capability and strength existing. Use the power of the watcher to notice how this deeply capable consciousness feels.
Move your consciousness into this feeling of capability. Allow the watcher to be. Allow anxiety to be. Listen to the feeling of genuine capability.
Watch how this inner strength is able to exist simultaneously with any thoughts and sensations of anxiety.
Watch the effortless consciousness that is able to move, breathe, and be empowered regardless of feelings of anxiety, ridicule or doubt. It is there you simply need to find it.
Look, listen, imagine and feel. Stretch your mind. Expand your consciousness. Give yourself permission to explore.
The opportunity to transcend anxiety only exists when we allow anxiety to exist as it is. As soon as we suppress it we deny ourselves the opportunity to move through it. Remember that transcendence means to see through the illusion. The illusion being that anxiety has us trapped. When we experience that empowerment and deep capability can exist simultaneously with anxiety then we break the illusion. In this moment anxiety has changed – because the mind has changed. It’s like learning to climb a wall. The wall is the same, but it no longer blocks our journey because we have learnt to get past it.
The principle behind this exercise is the same as the principle behind any emotional healing technique. We must guide the mind to transcend the belief that we are disempowered in the presence of any thought, feeling or emotion. Working through the various blueprints of various emotions allows us to understand the principles. There are of course other methods of working through anxiety, or any emotional mind state for that matter. Breathing, chakras and energetic methods all work some accelerate the process more or less than others. In my opinion the essential thing is to teach the Mind to transcend energy states. This is what allows us to go beyond technique and instead of being reliant on certain criteria we understand how to be free and empowered in any situation.
Be conscious that developing the ability to connect to empowerment will get to the point where anxiety feels like nothing. It’s tempting at this point to let go of any anxiety residue, and simply connect to empowerment – but as patterns tend to work in cycles, a time may come in the future when anxiety returns. This is simply because the mind has not yet transcended the fear of anxiety fully. This fear keeps the mind attached to the belief that we cannot free ourselves from it. Getting to the root of fear requires that we remain vigilant. We must remain conscious always. To prevent this from feeling like a prudish chore, develop consciousness with the essence of effortlessness capability and freedom. After all these are the essentials of self-mastery.
User avatar
ashley72
 
Posts: 2533
Joined: Wed Feb 16, 2011 3:24 am

Re: When the pain body grips you

Postby smiileyjen101 » Mon Apr 25, 2011 2:31 pm

Hi Jackie I've had the panic of feeling unable to breathe, particularly when choking. It is a terrible sensation. The 'funny' thing was once, literally choking with a morsel of food stuck in my throat and all air exhaled while trying to cough it out, my wind pipe was constricting. I was trying to appear calm while the palpitations of my heart were fit to burst and my mind was saying 'oh dear, I'm going to die, right here, right now, in front of these people... nadanadanada.. spiral evermore into helplessness. Then louder, more calm - even if I dare say in the tone of someone bored now of the 'events', over the thought speak came a voice that is my own when I'm not panicking.

It said, quite clearly 'Idiot, you still have a nose!'

And with that thought I suddenly realised breath was still getting through from my nostrils. I don't even remember how I got the food out of my throat it suddenly became less important, I could just hang around concentrating on breathing through my nose. Of course, panic subsides, muscles relax...

As a child I had huge tonsils and choking was not a rare occurence. This ^ was the first time I ever realised I was not going to die, that I actually could just breathe through my nose. As soon as you direct your attention to something 'real' like this panic has nothing to feed upon - which is likely why people used to think slapping someone who was hysterical was a good idea :wink:

So, if I may be so 'practical' find something 'real' to slap yourself with in the moment/s of panic.

The other very helpful thing I learned about panic and particularly regarding breathing, is to breathe OUT. Many do not realise, that faint feeling, that giddiness and loss of breath feeling is not that we cannot breathe in - it's that we've breathed in and held it, rather than letting it go. Nature will take its course if we breathe out, air will slide right back in. And maybe for a few moments we might have to be conscious to breathe out, to let it go.

Even in childbirthing, it's not the in-breaths that are important, it's the out-breaths so we relax.

The 'deeper' advice is the same, what is blocked one way there is usually another way to allow things to move - get out of your own way rather than trying to force it one way that is 'blocked'.

And, in order for the new 'breath' to enter your life, you have to breathe out and let go of the old.

Maybe a new journal start line might be -
I am holding onto...................... because..........................................
because..........................................
because..........................................

until you get to the bottom of it yourself - but remember to breathe OUT while you're writing it :wink: If you start to feel your chest constrict, break off, focus on something real in your sight and meaningfully breathe out.

Hope this helps.

(and hugs back snowy.. i'm 'very skeptical of any formed beliefs' on any subject :lol: I just let it all happen!)
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
http://www.balancinginfluences.com
User avatar
smiileyjen101
 
Posts: 3688
Joined: Wed Sep 22, 2010 3:44 am

Re: When the pain body grips you

Postby snowheight » Tue Apr 26, 2011 8:37 pm

ashley72 wrote:
Work this exercise:

Next time Anxiety arises
First, witness your body.
Feel the way your anxiety sits in your body.
Feel the shape of it.
Witness the way your mind, body and thoughts are reacting to the sensation of anxiety.
Allow your thoughts to come and go as they please – whatever they may be. Simply observe. Don’t response to them.
Staying conscious whilst anxious is necessary to see through the illusion, so be diligent in maintaining your awareness by becoming deeply rooted within your body.
Allowing the anxiety to be as it is, witness the watcher.
Shift your consciousness so that more of it is witnessing the watcher than the anxiety. Simply allow the anxiety to be as it is.
Observe.
Notice how the watcher simply allows your thoughts to be. It requires nothing. Whether fast, slow, critical or neutral the watcher simply watches.
Now imagine a feeling of capability and strength existing. Use the power of the watcher to notice how this deeply capable consciousness feels.
Move your consciousness into this feeling of capability. Allow the watcher to be. Allow anxiety to be. Listen to the feeling of genuine capability.
Watch how this inner strength is able to exist simultaneously with any thoughts and sensations of anxiety.
Watch the effortless consciousness that is able to move, breathe, and be empowered regardless of feelings of anxiety, ridicule or doubt. It is there you simply need to find it.
Look, listen, imagine and feel. Stretch your mind. Expand your consciousness. Give yourself permission to explore.


ash' did you write these steps? ... pretty good stuff!
Stop talking. Hear every sound as background. Look straight ahead and focus. Take one deep breath. This is you. This is Now.
snowheight
 
Posts: 1941
Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2010 11:56 pm

Re: When the pain body grips you

Postby ashley72 » Tue Apr 26, 2011 11:06 pm

This exercise was written by someone else...I added the introduction and a couple of new lines... To give more emphasis on being "conscious". This was the only bit I felt was lacking in the exercise.

It's not the only way to tackle anxiety, but it's certainly breaks down the disorder very well.
User avatar
ashley72
 
Posts: 2533
Joined: Wed Feb 16, 2011 3:24 am

Re: When the pain body grips you

Postby peleke4 » Wed Apr 27, 2011 7:45 am

pain body was and at times still too powerful for me to just "watch." WHen this is the case, I question the underlying beliefs behind whatever painbody takes me over
peleke4
 
Posts: 223
Joined: Sat Sep 20, 2008 8:52 am

Re: When the pain body grips you

Postby ashley72 » Wed Apr 27, 2011 8:59 am

peleke4 wrote:pain body was and at times still too powerful for me to just "watch." WHen this is the case, I question the underlying beliefs behind whatever painbody takes me over


Tolle on the Pain-Body...

Eckhart Tolle wrote:Unconsciousness creates it; consciousness transmutes it into itself. St. Paul expressed this universal principle beautifully: "Everything is shown up by being exposed to the light, and whatever is exposed to the light itself becomes light." Just as you cannot fight the darkness, you cannot fight the pain-body. Watching it is enough. Watching it implies accepting it as part of what is at that moment.


Peleke4 if you question the underlying beliefs you are using mental reasoning or "Mental Activity" to overcome an underlying belief.... this would be like "fighting" it head on. While you might succeed the first time, doubt can still creep back in later. This has happen to me personally... I've overcome a fear on some occasions, only to find it present again later.
User avatar
ashley72
 
Posts: 2533
Joined: Wed Feb 16, 2011 3:24 am

Re: When the pain body grips you

Postby snowheight » Wed Apr 27, 2011 4:28 pm

peleke4 wrote:pain body was and at times still too powerful for me to just "watch." WHen this is the case, I question the underlying beliefs behind whatever painbody takes me over


So by recognizing the illusory nature of the story associated with the entity which is based on the belief the entity itself then fades away? This sounds familiar. From my experience, it applies to everyday ordinary unconsciousness as well.
Last edited by snowheight on Wed Apr 27, 2011 7:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Stop talking. Hear every sound as background. Look straight ahead and focus. Take one deep breath. This is you. This is Now.
snowheight
 
Posts: 1941
Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2010 11:56 pm

Re: When the pain body grips you

Postby jackiegs » Wed Apr 27, 2011 6:51 pm

I'm having a problem responding on here when using quotes from previous posts, so, wholly quoteless, I'll say a huge thank you for your responses and add that each stood out for me in a different way, each one held a gem that I've taken away with me and it's so helpful and, dare I say, comforting.
jackiegs
 
Posts: 22
Joined: Fri Apr 15, 2011 11:44 pm

Re: When the pain body grips you

Postby peleke4 » Thu Apr 28, 2011 3:48 am

I recommend trying out "The Work" by Byron Katie. The sequence of questions does not fight the underlying belief. Rather, the questioning brings about understanding and awareness. And from that understanding/awareness, the belief "lets go of itself." Give it a shot. Won't hurt to try... oh and by the way. When it comes to this questioning, it is not a one time thing. For me, especially the heavy pain bodies, questioning it is definitely not a one time thing. It's an as needed basis. As Byron says, "you're either in the nightmare or you're questioning it." She also points out in her book "loving what is" that it really doesn't matter how many times a particular issue is questioned.. you could be questioning a particular issue the 2nd time or the 1000th time and it really doesn't matter.. what DOES matter is that you're understanding it and becoming aware of it at that moment.
peleke4
 
Posts: 223
Joined: Sat Sep 20, 2008 8:52 am


Return to Pain and Suffering

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest